"Stuck on You" is not a side splitting comedy, and rightfully deserves it's low IMDb rating (3.8). What it is, is a plot less series of sketches, loosely connected by a fallen out of love couple describing their relationship problems. Part music video, part crazy visuals, the movie actually gets more stupid with each passing minute. It does have a few chuckles however, the best being a sexual stimulation film for chickens, a clown at a funeral, and live chickens being delivered to a law office for a business luncheon. If sophomoric toilet humor appeals to you, then you might be able to sit through this mess. All other viewers have been warned. - MERK

One doesn't watch a Troma film expecting a truly profound and subtle work of cinematic art which offers some heavy meditation on the many facets of the human condition. Instead one watches a Troma flick for its zany humor and total giddy lack of any significant intellectual content. This picture certainly fits that latter bill something hysterical. Carol Griffiths (a winning performance by luscious brunette knockout Virginia Penta) and Bill Andrews (a solid turn by likable lug Mark Mikulski) are a young couple experiencing relationship problems. They take their cause to Family Court, where the batty Judge Gabriel (a marvelously wacky portrayal by Professor Irwin Corey) takes them back in time to view various lovers throughout the ages. Writers/directors Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz relate the silly story at a nonstop frantic pace and pitch the cheerfully dumb and shameless lowbrow humor at an extremely broad and cartoonish level. Granted, said humor is idiotic and unsophisticated to the ninth degree, but the jokes about such things as sex, erections, urination, homosexuality, pot smoking, flatulence, and super tight designer jeans are very funny in an admittedly crude no-brainer sort of way. In fact, a few of the gags are downright surreal, with the definite loopy highlight being a raunchy stag movie for chickens (!). Penta and Mikulski make for appealing and attractive leads. Kudos are also in order for the infectiously bouncy soundtrack (a nifty cover of "Love Will Keep Us Together" is especially sweet). A complete riot

I hate Stuck On You!!! Oh, The nerve!! it simply took nerve to pitch ideas like that, the endless amount and the depth of cute puns made me sick to my stomach. Don't get me wrong, like the title says, I love Lloyd's films, hell, I love Lloyd, and Toxie 1 & 4, Tromeo & Juliet, Terror Firmer. & I'm sure I'll love Poultrygeist if they ever bother to put it on DVD, Lloyd Kaufman is my all-time favorite director, but what happened here!?! Should we blame Michael Herz? Should we blame Satan? But, seriously!! I was able to find at least a hint of entertainment value in such films as Zombie '90 and How to make a doll, those films seem to know their place, they know exactly what they are, but this one really seems to think it's got something going for it. What really gets me is that Troma fans can never claim that the Farrelly bros. stole the name and made some Hollywood piece of garbage & that Uncle Lloyd's Stuck On You is far superior, sorry Uncle Lloyd, the '03 version is actually pretty swell, and the '83 version ...well, I would rather watch Scary Movie 3 and then watch A Nght to Dismember twice over than sit through Stuck on you '83 ever again. I hear that in Lloyd's opinion that this is the best of Troma's sexy "comedies" of the 70's and 80's, if Mr. Kaufman's opinion is true, then that's just sad. To end on a high note, from what I've read, Poultrygeist is the goriest Troma movie to date, so I guess I could throw uncle Lloyd a star for just being the man, even though he is the cause of the Tromatic nightmare that is Stuck on You '83. I forgive you, Lloyd. 1/1

This is the absolutely worst movie I have ever seen and the only movie in my life where I have walked out of the theatre before the end of the film. I don't know how anyone can produce such pure garbage. Totally moronic!