The movie tells the story of a cranky magician who'd testify against the Vegas mob. The FBI want to put him under witness protection and a whole bunch of weird hitman characters try to get him before he testifies. That sounds neat and clear as a plot but the movie is nowhere near being clear. Unconnected scenes involving some weird, some silly characters flash one after another with incoherent dialogues (actually sounding more like monologues) with a techno soundtrack which almost never stops. The scenario is verbose to the level of making no sense at all. The only things that made sense were the commercial breaks (I saw it on a free to air channel). Not worth a dime or a second to waste.

I like the basic premise for Smokin' Aces—hired killers competing to collect the $1m placed on the head of a mafia snitch. I like the cast, which features a raft of impressive names. And I appreciate the occasionally anarchic approach, the film throwing in random 'WTF?' scenes and going into cartoonish, hyperviolent overdrive for its action.What I didn't like was the very uneven pacing throughout, the overly complex plot which introduces way too many characters, and the unnecessary twist ending of the kind that might have seemed fresh the previous decade (when The Usual Suspects, Seven, Fight Club and The Sixth Sense pulled the rug from under the viewer's feet), but which soon became annoyingly trite.5.5 out of 10, rounded up to 6 for the karate Ritalin kid with the boner, who is so freakin' bizarre that I couldn't help but laugh.

This movie looks "cool" and "smokin'" as its title says, but the first hint that it's not so good is the fact that non-actress Alicia Keys is one of the main stars. And she simply can't act. She does a terrible job, even though some may think she doesn't, but it's obvious, sometimes painfully obvious, that she can't act and is not a real actress. Like in the scene at the elevator, when she meets the three over the top Neo-Nazi characters. Her response is so lame and she delivers it totally unconvincingly, like she doesn't quite know what to do. And its a major mistake, casting a non-actress in a LEADING role, even in an action flick. Jeremy Piven being there doesn't do enough to save this film from being just another in a long line of unoriginal movies that are clearly a rip off of Guy Ritchie's classics like Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch. And one advice to the director: adding those running name titles to introduce each major character doesn't make a movie any better! Why? Because it's already been done, to death. You had it in Faculty, those two aforementioned Ritchie films and many others.Ryan Reynolds is another reason I hate this movie, because Ryan Reynolds is the most overpaid, overrated and over-you name it in the movie industry. He simply sucks and is annoying. All this movie is made of is shootout scenes and some scenes that aim at being humorous in a rather bizarre way, like the scene with the karate boy. Vladimir Kulich, not a bad actor really, is doomed to be in second and third rate movies it seems...poor guy. And here he doesn't get more than one line even, which is totally unjust, given that he has a cool voice. Really poor and unoriginal flick, I won't even call it a film because it doesn't deserve it. Action scenes are rather well shot and that is the only treat here, along with miss Keys appearing in a short skirt. The cliché of the ending only underlines the fact that this is a turkey. 3 out of 10

Smokin' Aces (2006): Dir: Joe Carnahan / Cast: Ryan Reynolds, Alicia Keys, Ray Liotta, Andy Garcia, Jeremy Piven: Fast moving action film about "Aces" Isreal whom everyone wants dead. The F.B.I. tracks him down at a high Vegas suite. Director Joe Carnahan does a terrific job at maintaining story lines with graphic violence populating the third act. He previously made Narc, which is another well crafted action thriller surrounding the rights and wrongs of the law. This is not as great a film as Narc, but it's entertaining to boot. Ryan Reynolds plays an F.B.I. officer who learns hard truths about Aces and his relation to an older mobster. It is a great serious performance from Reynolds who witnesses the dishonesty around him but his solution is questionable when he locks himself into a certain room. Alicia Keys is superb as a female hit-man posing as a prostitute to gain access to Isreal's suite. Ray Liotta plays Reynolds partner who enters the building with Reynolds yet meets tragedy. Andy Garcia is strong in key scenes when he arranges the whole assault then attempts to cover up guilty parties. Jeremy Piven plays Buddy "Aces", which is the Ace being smokin' out. The action is fast and fierce but the violence is extreme and too excessive. The film is well crafted and visually appealing for the genre. It regards the reality of one's evil deeds catching up and presenting its penalty. Score: 8 / 10