If the 1990s have taught us anything, it's that basketball players can't act. Michael Jordan bombed with critics in Space Jam, and Shaquille O'Neal flopped in Kazzam and Steel. But nowhere is this theory supported majorly than in Simon Sez.This is an action comedy that serves as the second major acting credit for former Chicago Bulls player Dennis Rodman. His prior appearance was in 1997's Double Team, alongside Jean-Claude Van Damme. For a terrible action flick, it did get points for a climactic coliseum showdown, complete with Coca-Cola product placements. You're better off watching that again than this movie, in which an Interpol agent named Simon (Rodman) is given an assignment to rescue a close friend's daughter, Claire Fence (Natalia Cigliuti). Assisting him in his quest are two cyber monks and his sidekick Nick Miranda (Dane Cook).Dennis Rodman's acting is just like what we've seen from him in Double Team. In other words, it's another acting attempt by an NBA superstar. To his credit, though, he's actually the best actor in this movie. Now, it's not signaling a good performance, but it's a huge compliment in comparison to his co-star, Dane Cook. With Simon Sez as the second movie he's ever done, Dane Cook is best known as a stand-up comedian who's had more acting credits than his co-stars overall. Now, he's way better as a stand-up comedian than he is an actor. He did have some good movies like Horton Hears a Who and Dan in Real Life. However, he is totally obnoxious in this movie. His idiotic comic relief character even makes Dennis Rodman look like Marlon Brando. There are more terrible comedy acting where that came from. There's also Micro (John Pinette) and Macro (Ricky Harris) as the two cyber monks, which is actually defined in Webster's as "unfunny computer nerds that spend too much time playing Dungeons & Dragons in their mom's basement". These comedic characters are all written in the most unnatural way possible. They're not just bad. They're annoyingly bad.This is an action comedy that heavily borrows from better films like 48 Hours, Beverly Hills Cop and Rush Hour, except in an agent theme. It also tries to come off as an action film when it completely feels like a comedy film. And when the plot and action kicks in, the movie suddenly goes on autopilot. They make the storyline and development so uninteresting, that it's not even on the same level as the awfulness in the first act. Although, you probably stopped caring about this movie after you're introduced to Cook, Pinette and Harris.In terms of action comedy, Simon Sez is sterile and boring as an action flick and even worse as a comedy. Dennis Rodman gives a better acting performance than he does in Double Team. Yet overall, Simon Sez is not only the worst movie to star an NBA player, but it's also bar none the worst movie to come out of the 1990s.Score: 0/100Recommendation: None

The title of the movie pretty much lead me to believe this would be a bad bad viewing experience. This movie is #1 on my list of "worst movies ever made that are great fun to watch" I was highly entertained at the horrible acting, silly plot...er was there one? and the two monks. I mean come on...monk side-kicks? It's just over the top. This movie tries to be a comedy and an action flick all at once..the comedy failing so miserably that it is incredibly funny. This will be one of those bad movies that you will truly love because it is so bad, or some will find it just not quite bad enough. I would compare it to Arnold's Total Recall. A bad movie with bad jokes, bad action but FUN.

John Pinette, although larger than I have ever seen him was entertaining. I love Dane Cook, but if I were him, I would take this movie off my resume. Rodman should stick to basketball and the freak show, because he can not act. I won't say that this is the worst movie I have ever seen, because I have seen BloodSuckers (Michael Ironsides) and DogSoliders. But, like those movies, it is a train wreck, no matter how awful it gets you just can't stop watching it. The wire work was horrible. Rodman can't even pretend he knows martial arts, John Pinette's stunt double was more convincing than Rodman. One of my biggest pet peeves is poor movie editing. For instance, at the end of First Wives Club count how many different pairs of shoes Goldie Hawn is wearing in the last seen. I counted four different pairs. In this movie, can you count how many times Rodman's bike changes in a single scene. We counted four in the the first scene of the movie, an three in the scene where he is escaping the blast in the tunnel. Did anyone else notice that the "dad" in this was trying way to hard to look like Robert Redford? This movie isn't even good enough to become a cult classic.

I saw this on DVD for £2 and i thought i would check it out and see if it is any good and............it's crap. Seriously this is not worth £2. It is a load of crap. They make so many mistakes. At the beginning this bike does a flip and on 1 shot he faces the wrong way but in the second shot the bike amazingly turns the right way. The acting is rubbish. Dennis Rodman can't act to save his life and neither can the others but i must admit that i found Dane Cook funny at times. The action is poor and ruined by special effects and the gadgets are just stupid. What ever you do don't watch this film. It is rubbish from start to finish.