Andrew Prine is the whole show in this otherwise thoroughly disappointing occult thriller which has a modern-day warlock named Simon, an actual magician of the black arts, living in a storm sewer and befriended by a young hustler with connections to a decadent circle of people. After one of the wealthy naysayers crosses Simon--and writes a bad check for his tarot reading--the male-witch is challenged to exact his revenge (and he must do so or lose his power). His talents also come in handy when his friend needs help seducing a married lady, or when the district attorney and the chief of police come down hard on the local potheads for using, but soon Simon finds himself at the mercy of his own magic. Prine's pithy, hipster-cool approach to the titular role is almost charming at times, that is until Simon is turned into his own worst enemy. Prine is also the only actor in the cast capable of giving a performance, everyone else being an amateur. Director Bruce Kessler spends far too time on the goof-off dopers sitting in front of their TV set watching the news reports--did he run out of material? Also, the special effects (a bowl of roses wilting, a violent rainstorm, a bright red specter) are sub-par. There's also a curious gay vibe early in the movie that is soon proved to be a false lead: Simon's buddy comes on like a midnight cowboy, a streetwise teen-swinger, but is soon revealed to be just a regular boy with a crush on a girl. In the film's worst scene, he sets up a "faggot" for Simon is to use in a ritual to create a supernatural charge, which is played for a nasty laugh yet shows the direction screenwriter Robert Phippeny was inclined to take: put the plot into motion with a 'realistic' portrait of a magician, then undercut the scenario with crude humor and melodrama. *1/2 from ****

Definitely one of the strangest 70's horror films I've encountered thus far, and believe you me, that is saying a lot! Right from the first moment, when a guy comes walking up to the camera from out of the rain and addresses the audience saying: "My name is Simon… I am a magician", you already know this won't become an ordinary type of witchcraft movie, but a bizarrely experimental independently produced fable with blackly comical aspects and a ludicrous script. Simon is quite an engaging fella… He lives in the sewers, drivels wildly about his liaison with the Gods and a whole bunch of other stuff that doesn't make one iota of sense and he's in control of a malignant red chemical ball that kills people. He also talks to trees, describes himself as irresistible and disrespectfully interrupts gatherings of other and supposedly treacherous religious cults in the middle of their holiest of rites. How can you not like a guy like that, especially if Andrew Pine - who's a veteran B-movie actor - depicts him? Unfortunately, however, Pine's tongue-in-cheek performance is the only truly terrific element of the entire film and it's sadly not enough to save it from the inevitable eventual descent into boredom. The movie doesn't have an actual plot. It's merely just a series of wacky adventures out of the life of a magician. Simon seduces the daughter of a hateful district attorney, demonstrates his magic capacities to a few non-believers, becomes the idol of a bunch of dope-selling hippies and eventually becomes punished by the Gods for his haughtiness. There are a number of things going on, but nothing really consequent or involving. Initially, I – and surely many other people with me – was expecting the Simon character to be a truly malicious and relentless self-acclaimed occult deity, kind of like the figure Charles Manson that was headliner news around that time. Instead, Simon practices a more or less "white" type of magic and that is automatically less appealing to bloodthirsty horror fans. There's nothing truly horrific or even remotely unsettling going on in this movie, apart from a whole lot of talking about witchcraft and a little bit of tacky laser & light show effects. I am aware of the fact "Simon, King of the Witches" gradually built up a tremendous cult reputation throughout the years and, solely based on the opening 15 minutes I presumed this was entirely justified, but I can't help admitting my viewing experience ended with disappointment.

SIMON KING OF THE WITCHES is the funniest movie I have seen in months. After reading about it for a few weeks while on my present witchcraft & occult kick I tracked down an old rental tape, poured myself a bowl of Booberry and sat down to a screening last night -- and was delighted to find a witty, self aware little thriller/comedy with some nice post Haight-Ashburian sensibilities, at the center of which is Andrew Prine in the most sadly Oscar nomination deprived performance aside from John Phillip Law's performance from OPEN SEASON. Andrew Prine will be forever linked to depraved, exploitation and horror films for one effort, the horribly misnamed BARN OF THE NAKED DEAD, but SIMON clearly demonstrates that he was an actor who worked with calm assuridity in the face of the absurd ... Simon is a warlock, an occultist magician who approaches his work with the sober seriousness of a plumber or electrician -- "It's just another professional trade" he exasperatedly tells one naysayer, and in fact the best parts of SIMON is when various doped up or stupid San Francisconians ask him to show them a magic trick or prove he really is a witch. Nobody listens when he tries to tell them that it is not the brimstone & abbey they know from fiction and is forced to oblige, with the outcome more often than not having comic results.Viewers looking for a depraved, sexually amoral satanic cult flick will be disappointed: there is only one witchraft & sex scene and it serves a role to the plot -- sorry! The tape's box promises "naked satanic orgies and human sacrifice" and yet both of these elements are displayed not in an attempt to Arouse or Gratify, but to ridicule those who have an erroneous impression of what witchcraft is about -- Simon visits a modern day coven of "witches" with his young charge and ends up hopping around on a push-broom at the end while the naked participants throw things at him and howl disapprovingly. Overdone, but hilarious.**SPOILER WARNING! *** The plot that the movie purports to tell involves Simon's attempts to put a hex on the local district attorney and the corrupt vice cops cracking down on the poor, hapless kids who sell grass and seem to share the same seven or eight brain cells. He does, but the plan backfires and Simon ends up being killed at the end by one of the kids at his own behest, willingly or no. All of this is of no importance to Simon, because death isn't an end, just sort of a cooling off period between lives. I like that.But what the film is really about, I think, is how stupid modern Americans are about "the spirit world" and those who purport to be able to connect with/control it. In many ways Simon's character is closer to a shamanistic ritual expert than a satanic witch, and I was pleased with how the entire story is told from a secular point of view -- we never hear about Satan or God, but about nature, cause & effect of human actions, and how Simon is merely a trained professional who can influence the nature of both humans, the elements, and also potted plants perched on high placed ledges. Simon's greatest magical feat in the film is to cause an unidentified cylinder of metal to glow like a lightsaber ... and is never referred to again. This is either because the filmmakers were more interested in showing Simon's interaction with other humans than conducting the ominous, quasi-sexual rites the tape box promises. Some of the 70's drug and lifestyle reference jokes get tiresome (he role of a homosexual man is used just to poke fun at gays, which this movie should be above but what the hell it was 1972), and it would have been nice to see Simon have another go at the naked sex incantation he attempts with the female "love interest" role that is more of a professional association than a romance.But whatever: I found this movie to be remarkably enjoyable, light hearted and still have moments of poignancy that made me think about my own ideas about occult and the witchcraft phenomenon that dominated American horror films from about 1971 until 1975. Usually the tact would be to follow a character through a series of encounters with those possessed by or in league with Satan (RACE WITH THE DEVIL being one of my favorites), but we rarely get to see the picture from the occultist's point of view -- It is amusing to find the one film that does, and to find that the Warlock in question views his profession with as much romanticism as employees of a bank feel about money. My single favorite moment from the film? When Simon and his charge set about building an altar in his sewer pipe home --"With lumber by Wyman Brothers." Not sure if that was supposed to be a plug or a joke, but you gotta love the matter of factness behind the line, and the whole film plays out with an equal taste for the blasé. HIGHLY recommended if you can find it, and Prine should get one of those Lifetime Achievement awards, perhaps sharing the stage with John Phillip Law for an acceptance speech for the ages. I'd tune in for that.8/10, and you can stuff your silly horror movies. Simon is Real.

What IS going on in this film? I dunno, but I kinda liked it. Andrew Prine (BARN OF THE NAKED DEAD) is a storm drain-dwelling modern-day warlock who uses his powers to do bad things. He becomes involved with the district attorney's daughter and low-life drug dealers. In one scene, he faces the QUEEN of the Witches. If you like '70s pseudo-witchcraft nonsense served with a nice dose of psychedelic visuals, incoherent plotting and some nudity, SIMON KING OF THE WITCHES might be well worth your time.