Five friends - 2 guys and 3 girls - take a detour to Uncle Marty's large, country house. Basically this is a soft core porn flick where girls get naked, they take showers, fondle their breast implants and get laid by the sex obsessed guys. Wrapped up as a pitifully bad vampire movie. Martin Shannon, who plays the vampire Marty, is the only member of the cast who has anything approaching acting skills. The rest, in particular Dave Larsen as Kurt, have zero acting ability. The three girls were obviously hired to take off their clothes - which they do so frequently. There is some childish farting going on at the start - including the first babe in shower scene (what a turn off!). A pathetic attempt at humour. The special effects are cheap & rubbish. This is a seriously BAD film, the only reason that I've rated 2 and not 1 out of 10 is that I will give it a little credit for the female nudity.

First off: generic title cards. Second: overly dark photography went out with the 1980s. Third: incredibly un-erotic nudity during the generic opening title cards. Fourth: puking and farting from plastic-looking Megan (Robin Brown) is neither funny nor necessary.Now that we have that out of the way.....Two drunken, flatulent couples spend the night at an uncle's house in the woods. They drink, fart again, puke again, and, mercifully, shower. After Unc shows up later that evening, he reveals himself to be a vampire. That ten seconds-long premise is stretched out to 79 minutes, 65 minutes of that is either the girls getting nude and showering, or the guys acting like idiots and smashing beer cans against their heads. After seeing Megan puking, belching, and farting repeatedly in the first two scenes, are we supposed to find it erotic to see her nude in the shower and on the bed? When the creepy as hell Uncle gets into bed with her, it was more nauseating than arousing. I was actually happy when her character was finally killed, because it meant an end to (some of) the constant farting.The title might attract one's attention, but don't get one's hopes up; this IQ-killing time-waster is long on flatulence and nudity, but very short on anything else. Lia Montelongo and Melissa Mountifield's ample nudity is the only attraction here.

Shower of Blood is set in Galloway County where women have been mysteriously disappearing & their cannibalised bodies turning up, a killer is on the loose! Lovers Kurt (Dave Larsen) & Lisa (Lia Montelongo) along with three of their friends, Megan (Robin Brown) who seems to fart a lot, Heather (Melissa Mountifield) & Terry (Peter Renaud) decide to venture in Galloway Woods where the bodies have been found to make an impromptu visit to Lisa's uncle Marty's (Martin Shannon) place & stay the night. Once there there's no sign of uncle Marty so they break in & make themselves comfortable, when uncle Marty does eventually turn up he has an evil secret he's all to keen to share with his unexpected house-guests...Directed by Tiffany Kilbourne this straight to video/DVD zero budget piece of crap proves that women can make a horror film just as badly as any man. We've all heard of bottom of the barrel Z movies right? Well as far as Shower of Sh*t, sorry Blood goes it's so crap we'd have to invent a 27th letter of the alphabet! The awful script is credited to David C. Hayes, Kyle Kline & Keith Knapp, that's right folks it took three people to write a screenplay this bad... For a start the story is crap & utterly predictable, the pacing is awful & basically nothing happens for what seems like hours, the character's are really bad even by annoying American teen standards & there's nothing here even remotely interesting or entertaining as far as I'm concerned. Call me hard to please & fussy but I actually like my films to have a story, make sense & entertain me, someone tell me am I really asking for too much? The entire first half an hour of Shower of Sh*t, sorry there I go again, Blood consists of arguments between the five annoying teens about who is going to bring their luggage in! Seriously, someone wants some help to bring it in while the other's don't want to help, yep this is exciting stuff folks. The things which happen, or should that be randomly occur, are never explained like who killed Terry & hung him from the tree? How come uncle Marty is a Vampire? Why is this film so bad? This is the sort of crap which is making me lose interest in the horror genre, the genre which I love & always have but when I see this shot on a digital camcorder with amateur actors & crew complete with CGI computer effects that belong in a late 80's Nintendo game like this I lose just a little bit more enthusiasm for the genre that has given me so much pleasure & entertainment over the years & that makes me sad.Director Kilbourne thinks as long as you make all of your female cast members strip & bare their ample breasts on a regular basis no-one will notice how rotten your film is, she's wrong because I for one noticed. Virtually every conversation or situation in Shower of Sh*t is geared towards getting the female cast to get their breasts out, at one point it's specifically mentioned that uncle Marty has four separate showers in his house just so all the girls have the opportunity to strip & shower whenever they feel like it. The horror elements are poor, it's not scary or atmospheric & there's far more naked breasts on show than blood. Gore wise there's a bitten neck, someone cuts her breast with a straight razor & some Vampire dude drinks from it & that's about it.Technically the film is a glorified home movie, it looks like it was shot on a digital camcorder & I just hate the look of video rather than proper film. To give it some credit the film is surprisingly well lit on occasion but that's hardly any compensation for sitting through this. The acting is awful from everyone involved.Shower of Blood is one of those crap films I'd have turned off after half an hour if I wasn't going to review it, in the interest of fairness I stuck it out which wasn't easy & if I had switched it off after thirty minutes I wouldn't have missed anything. Seriously not recommended.

Why isn't this movie at the video store? I had to borrow my friend's copy and then went out and bought my own. The trailer is one of the best I've seen on any movie.But the movie, is frighteningly delicious. I agree, hands down- easily most gorgeous vampires ever. The makeup is subtle but nice when they are vampires. I love the excessive blood gags.Of course I'd be lying if I didn't say the story is overdone, but who cares? It's cool enough and stylistic enough to get past that.I won't give up the plot, but let me say, people are gonna die. Hot vampires are gonna show skin. Great combo.Rent it tonight- er buy it. haha