I really wanted to like this more than I do. It's atmospheric, eerie, and somewhat erotic. It's also got a plot so thin it's almost invisible, and is so very slow. I know that latter is probably deliberate (see what I did there?), and yes, the stately pace of proceedings doubtless contributes to the creepy, morbid atmosphere. Maybe it's just that I watched this right after a much more exciting film (The Big Bird Cage, if you want to know), but I surprisingly failed to really connect with this one.The satanism is pretty cool though. It's exciting when the lady of the house gets all hot and bothered reading all those blasphemies from her satanic book. This film kind of subscribes to the old idea of satanists being a bunch of bored decadents. But these guys aren't harmless, I guess; they indulge in cannibalism and all sorts of morbidities. Yet, I can't escape the fact that this film kind of has a mundane feeling. The stakes are small and maybe that's part of the point, but at times, despite all the darkness, the whole thing feels like a childish game, and nothing more.I do like the dichotomy this film nicely slots into. It's got one of those stern professorial types at the beginning telling us of the dangers of black magic and satanism, which are of course alive and thriving in our cozy urban worlds today. Classic exploitation technique, and it still works. Then, when we get on to the nudity and bloodshed, we get that classic primal-level confusion about what the film is really trying to tell us. Are we supposed to indulge and enjoy ourselves, or feel bad? Of course, it's both, and that's the beauty of it! Mostly though, just enjoy ourselves, I think, and transgress, because we can. Remember that this film was released in 1978, and that Franco (the fascist Franco, not the film director who smartly got all his films financed in other countries) and his government had imposed strict censorship on the country's art. Such transgressive iconography would have been utterly forbidden a mere few years earlier. And I'm sure this is exactly the freedom the film-makers were revelling in. So, even though I confess that I didn't entirely "get it", and that as a horror film I thought this was kind of a failure, I still commend the effort and think it's worth seeing for anyone into devilish cinema. Oh, and despite what i said above -- they get props for the ending, which was, after all, rather fitting in its cyclical nature.

Finally, a film that knows what it's audience wants! I went into this picture back in '78 when it was released and it was mere minutes after entering that I was walking right back out the theatre doors, and not in a security guards arms either. Here's how it happened, I was in my seat just as the film was starting and it began with some old man in a cloak and some candles or something, I don't really know because I was focusing on taking my pants off without the usher noticing. Then bam! Right on the screen a naked woman is tied to a table with her sweater-hogs hanging right out! Then the old dude starts groping her, and just when I thought it couldn't get any better that cinematic genius, Carlos Puerto, gave the audience a close- up of her smooth naked "cat". Instantly gratified I finished all over the seat in front of me and made my way for the lobby where I ate 5 bags of candy corn then went home to sleep. I would have stayed for the rest of the film, but with an intro that spectacular there's no way they could have topped it. In the end I only have three words to say about Satan's Blood: What. A. Masterpiece.

"Escalofrio", a.k.a. "Don't Panic", a.k.a. "Satan's Blood" was made at a time in Spain when ratings restrictions had become more lax, so filmmakers were quick to capitalize on this. While this particular movie never received an American theatrical release, it did get released on tape under those alternate titles. Now we can enjoy it on DVD for the shameless smut it is. It's spiced up with so much delectable nudity and sex (including one memorable moment of group sex!) that a trash fan can't help but like it, and its writing is so insane as to be delicious.A couple named Andres (Jose Maria Guillen) and Ana (Mariana Karr) are on an outing, with their dog in tow, when a stranger, Bruno (Angel Aranda) and his wife Berta (Sandra Alberti) confront them, Bruno claiming that they're old college buddies. Despite the fact that Andres just can't remember Bruno, and that his memories don't jibe with Bruno's, he and Ana willingly go along with Bruno and Berta to their isolated country mansion, where matters of the occult, including the use of a ouija board, await them."Satan's Blood" will have the viewer likely laughing in appreciation, at least if they are anything like this viewer. It's just such a hoot, with some graphic bits of violent business, a respectably creepy enough atmosphere, and good music by Librado Pastor. The little doll is a good touch. The movie is mainly worth watching for all the bare skin; one bathroom scene is fun to watch, and Alberti *literally* has a smoking hot body in this thing. From start to finish, this is endlessly entertaining stuff, with oddball characters on the fringes of the action, such as a would be rapist, an ominous gate keeper, and a suspicious doctor.Andres and Ana act like so many other dumb horror movie characters, refraining from getting out while the getting is good, which may infuriate some people watching, but for others, seeing these two dolts just stick around and stick around becomes repetitive enough to be a riot. Fans of Euro trash horror are well advised to give this one a look.Trivia note: Juan Piquer Simon, the man who gave us such classics as "Pieces" and "Slugs", is the art director, executive producer, and (uncredited) co-director. While watching, keep an eye out for a poster of "Star Wars"!Eight out of 10.

I wouldn't have been surprised to find out that, Carlos Puerto, the obscure director of this Spanish horror semi-classic was actually a pseudonym for the more famous Spanish/English director Jose Larraz. Puerto is apparently a real guy, even though his film is eerily similar to many of those of Larraz with its plot of an innocent couple being lured to a remote house in the wilderness and being preyed on by a satanic coven of sexual degenerates.The good news though is that this tends to eerily resemble a good Larraz film like "Symptoms" or "Vampyres" rather than a bad Larraz film like "Whirlpool" or "Black Candles". The bad news is that this suffers from the same problem of many (especially latter-day) Larraz films and many other films of the post-Franco "destapa" period--the emphasis on softcore sex and gratuitous nudity at times brings the story to a complete standstill and threatens to overwhelm any suspense or tension the story has built up. Luckily though the film is fairly skillfully done and the acting is good (I don't know who any of these actors are, but they're better than almost anyone Larraz ever worked with).The ending is especially non-sensical even as far as Eurohorror goes, and dog lovers might not like the movie much, but it's still one of the better Spanish horror films I've seen from this period and the new DVD is widescreen and looks really good. Mirala!