Although the movie is quite silly, it's great fun. Kids should love it. Parents don't have to worry about bad language. The plot is predictable ... well, with a few exceptions. You've got to love the secret that lies beneath the orphanage. Interestingly you'll see two folks from just a couple of years before they appeared on That Seventies Show. People that mention how some scenes don't make sense are totally missing the point - you're supposed to simply laugh at the bizarre plot. So, take a chill pill and just enjoy the antics. The villains are gloriously rotten. Robin Curtis was a surprise to see in a movie like this. All of the low ratings must be from folks that have never learned to laugh.

At the start of this month, I was wondering what exactly made a Christmas movie - thoughts prompted by finally watching the iconic "It's A Wonderful Life". My conclusion, such as it was, was that it was the film's message that mattered and not fake snow and Father Christmas saving the day. So what then are we to make of a movie such as this which turns a fundamentally unlikeable twit into the most idiotic hero I've ever seen in any film. If IMDb is correct then this should be the worst movie I've ever seen, judging by its long stay in the notorious Bottom 100. It certainly makes a strong case as it's too stupid for any family to enjoy, devoid of any real charm and practically insults the viewer from the opening reel with cheap effects, pitiful performances throughout and a plot that even the screenwriter would deny any knowledge of.The plot, such as it is, revolves around self-centred multi-millionaire Blake Thorn (Hulk Hogan) who somehow amassed himself a fortune flogging various fitness products despite having few redeeming qualities and no apparent intelligence - he spends his free time beating up the small number of staff at his mansion and irking the police with Hummer-based paint-ball battles in the streets. After one such incident, Blake hides in the local mall from the police by disguising himself as a department store Santa. But after a convoluted series of events, he takes a blow to the head which causes amnesia severe enough to erase any memory of who he is. Persuaded by dodgy mall elf Lenny (Don Stark) that he is the real Santa, Blake decides to intervene on behalf of a struggling orphanage facing closure at the hands of resident baddie Ebner Frost (Ed Begley Jr) and his gang of goons."Santa With Muscles" really is as dumb as its title, offering nothing in the way of entertainment, stimulation or anything beneficial to mankind in any way. From the opening title screen to the final shot, everything looks as though it was made as cheaply as possible and then budgeted even further. Hogan, who is actually quite a charismatic performer in the ring, is devoid of any charm whatsoever and goes through the motions like a South African sign language interpreter - looking good in theory but sorely lacking in practise. The rest of the cast are equally bad - Begley Jr is hardly a leading light in A-list cinema and judging by his performance here, its easy to see why. Meanwhile, even a pre-teen Mila Kunis fails to distract any attention from how truly dreadful the production is. If I was being charitable (and 'tis the season, as they say), I could say that they did the best job they could with the material and with the inept direction from John Murlowski whose other credits include "Cop Dog" and "Zombie Hamlet". Nope, me neither.It really is one of those films where you wonder how it ever got from the page to the screen without someone somewhere raising the alarm. It even fails to provide anything about the message of Christmas, unless you include the exploitation of fairly serious head injuries for personal gain. Frankly, "Santa With Muscles" isn't just a slap in the face for Christmas movies or even so-called "family" movies - it's a straight-up insult to the movie-making industry as a whole. Here is a small group of writers, producers and actors who think that such mindless drivel counts as entertainment simply because your kids will be watching with you. If you want a family movie that won't end in a fight then may I suggest almost anything by Pixar - "WALL·E" is a monumentally brilliant picture which amuses and educates in equal measure. If you want a Christmas picture then stick with "It's A Wonderful Life" or even "A Muppet's Christmas Carol" if the kids are with you. And if you want to make sure that your family stay away from you this Christmas or at any other time of year then "Santa With Muscles" will do the trick. My only comfort I take from this experience is that there can't be much worse out there, at least if IMDb is correct.

"He" referring to Hulk Hogan, which I consider the America's Tor Johnson. Tor starred in many bad movies; so does Hulk. Both are very funny in each of their performances! In my opinion, "Santa with Muscles" is where all the fun and the laughs are! Hearing that "Eegah"-like "Watch out, he's got a candy cane!" makes me laugh until I cry! And I laugh so much, I cry until I can do neither of those things anymore! That's the secret recipe for a great family holiday film: Laughs + Good Clean Family Fun (none of that "Bad Santa" stuff, please!) = The Best Holiday Family Film In The History Of The Universe! Let "Santa with Muscles" be the centerpiece of your entertainment next Christmas!

The problem with Hulk Hogan as an actor is that, while he's not Brando, he has his moments where he's okay. That said, all he seems to lend his name to is rubbish children's movies. The only serious thing he seems to have done is Rocky III (you be the judge of how serious that is). This is the ultimate example of that children's movie crap. Hogan is a wealthy man who loses his memory and somehow thinks he is Santa. He is taken in by an orphanage, who are trying to stop some villain doing something. Seriously, that's how forgettable this film is. The acting is poor. Hulk manages to lay some cool smackdown, but then again, so does Jean Claude. The children are all that breed of little goof ball's trying to be cute. Ed Begley Jr is just unnecessary. Many people have a real hatred towards Christmas movies. Of course, they can't all be Bad Santa, the Santa Clause, The Nightmare Before Christmas or the all time great, It's A Wonderful Life. But this is just lazy. Considering Hogan's potential for cool, violent films, this just wastes the most awesome wrestler ever. Just like everything else. I can't give it a one, but it's certainly not worth a passing grade. It's just dosh.