. . . MUST broaden his thinking to envision TWO great big beautiful walls separating America from Terrorist Threats with this prophetic live-action short warning, ROMANCE ROAD. The calamitous events of this tale take place above the USA's Northern Border, and they make the infamous Bowling Green Massacre look like a picnic in the park by way of comparison. In ROMANCE ROAD, an unlucky American Civil Engineer named Flood (his nationality obvious because he speaks American, NOT Canadiyapper like everyone else around him) is dispatched from his Homeland to provide the Corporate know-how and can-do initiative to get a railroad built (something obviously far beyond the skill sets of folks that think clubbing baby seals to death is a hard day's work!). The local French and Indians wage war against Mr. Flood throughout this terrible tale, ultimately slaying him way before his time. Because pretty much every Warner Bros. film from the 1900s should be seen as a clairvoyant caution of coming dire dangers facing 21st Century Americans, and since ROMANCE ROAD reveals that Canadia's so-called Mounties are more interested in dealing the chicks that in quashing Terrorist Threats, Warner warns us that we must now INSIST Americans living in Northern Tier States be blessed with their own Wall of Safety, for which Leader Trump will force the Canadiyappers to pay.

. . . probably seemed a wonderful way to save about 90 minutes of time when it was released in 1938, but it might be just as effective today if an editor pared it down from nearly 19 minutes to ten or so. For instance, Mountie Shane could yell out, "Stop, in the name of the King!" during the first five minutes, so that the only two Native Canadians in the tribe who do NOT dress like chiefs might be saved from the railroad's serial rapist. The opening title card of ROMANCE ROAD says that Mounties are encouraged to mix business with pleasure, wooing the most eligible chicks around as they move from town to town in their bright red uniforms to replenish a thinning Canadian gene pool. After wedding planning, priority Number Two seems to be enforcing Fat Cat Englishmen's property rights over the livelihoods and well-being of any "Frenchies" or Native Canadians who are in the way. This live action short was made so long ago that Canadians still flew a real-looking national flag, rather than a banner featuring a forest waste product. That's why those North of the border will want to view this in its buffoonish entirety.

I have no idea why, but Hollywood had a mild obsession with the Mounties (the Royal Canadian Mounted Police to be precise). They were featured in quite a few movies ranging from a silent with Lon Chaney to a warbling Jeanette MacDonald and Nelson Eddy film to an epic by Cecil B. DeMille. And in each case, the Mounties not only get their man but are darn nice! In this film, a Sergeant is sent to a trouble spot where railroad folks and trappers are about to come to blows. Once there, he soon sees that most of the problem is being caused by the railroad boss, as he's a total.....jerk. In the end, there is a huge fight in which an angry native, the railroaders, trappers and the Mountie all nearly get killed. Importantly, the railroad boss dies and everyone celebrates with punch and cookies....or at least they all somehow miraculously make up and the film ends.All in all, the story is VERY simplistic and the characters very one-dimensional. As a result, the film comes off as silly and hard to believe. Unlike some of the other shorts by writer/director Billy Connelly, this one is pretty lame and did not age particularly well--even with its nice Technicolor.By the way, the film has a huge cast of, well, only about a dozen--so the big climactic scene seems a bit sillier. If you still want to see it, it's one of the special features on the disk "The Life of Émile Zola"--an excellent film even if the short isn't.

Romance Road (1938) ** (out of 4) Weak romance about a RCMP sergeant who finds himself in the middle of a land rights battle between trappers and a railroad crew. The two sides are battling over what the land is for while the officer has this on his mind as well as a relationship with one of the locals. If it wasn't for one item this short would have been a complete disaster because there's really nothing good here. The story is about as simple as one could be and nothing special is done with it. The acting is below par to say the least and the relationship between Walter Cassel and Anne Nagel never rings true. Another major problem are the two songs that we get to hear because neither one is catchy and I'd say both should have been tossed out to save us from the 19-minute running time. What makes this film worth viewing is the 3-strip Technicolor. This color process wasn't widely used in 1938 so you can almost overlook all the flaws here because it's obvious everyone involved was more interested in making the picture look pretty and not overly worried about anything else. Fans of the 3-strip process will want to check this short out but others should stay clear.