I have watched a lot of total crap in my time and NEVER have I seen a Satanic medieval henchman lead a pirate, a couple of vikings and what appears to be a smattering of unarmed peasants into battle against a troupe of GUN Wielding renaissance costumed buffoons and women who appear to be from the deep south circa 1860. You might as well have Harry Truman wearing confederate gray lead Jesus and Harry conick Jr. into battle against Canada and it's mighty army of Huns in 1534 using laser guns and crossbows for all the accuracy in this movie.Even the MST3K version doesn't have enough jokes to contain the awfulness of this asstastic abortion.PS - Thats just the first 3 minutes.

My daughter, May was watching this movie for the second time when I realized it felt familiar: It's Star Wars in the Middle Ages! Baydool is Obi Wan Kanobe. "Tee" is Luke etc.I found myself really enjoying the setting and the quest this young lad takes.Also appreciated the cameo by Richard Kind, a great comic actor. And check out Olivia Hussey, still gorgeous. I'm always appreciative of kids movies that give us parents some grown-up humor, something we can enjoy as well.So I give it 7 stars for us adults and maybe 8 for "tweeners".

the most historically inaccurate film ever made. I'm not even sure this can be called a movie, maybe it's just an after school special on the middle ages gone horribly wrong. There's something in here, about a boy who becomes the leader of an underground knight group that's trying to stop an evil villain from obtaining a device of unlimited power, at least I think that's what happens. The acting is bad, but the sets and "special effects" are just so laughably bad that it's a wonder this film got released at all. The MST version was funny, though not one of their best efforts. Nothing for the film, but a 7 for the MST version.-I wonder how cheap the casting for the film must have been, well David Warner played both the villain and one of the main heroes, so that may be some indication as to how low the budget was.

...there was a production company that wanted to make a sword-and-sorcery flick on a shoestring budget. So they hired out a California Rennaisance Festival and had the extras wander around in front of the merchant shops, and used them for the backdrop of an unoriginal story about a kid, a whore, and Leonardo daVinci (I am SO not making this up) off to find a bunch of junk Archimedes left lying around after the fall of Rome.Of course, it fails spectacularly. It fails even more spectacularly if you're actually involved in RenFest or SCA-type activities, because then you can tell that the costumes on the extras come from about fifteen different time periods and locations. And that nobody, no not even the Vikings, wore horns on their helmets the way the Vulchare's henchmen do. And that nobody PERIOD would have dressed in the EFX-chorus costumes they stuck Olivia Hussey and David Warner (as Vulchare) into.The painful segments of this film are innumerable. Such as the pee-throwing scene. Or "advanced" spy techniques employed by the Delta Knights, which involve meteorlogical discussions and that writing-with-lemon-juice-on-paper-and-heating-it-to-reveal-secret-message trick that children's science shows always do. Or Richard Kind in an annoying cameo and possibly the worst fake beard in film history (yes, even counting the wool on Captain Santa's face in Space Mutiny). Or the way the whore solicits the kid for sex even though he's not old enough to shave. Or the guys who wear Halloween masks and live in a summer camp obsticale course, one of whom screams "I'M COMMMIIIIIIIIIIING!" in what sounds for all the world like Cheech Marin's voice. Or the notion that Leonardo wasn't a genius, he was an irritating schmuck who stole all his ideas from Archimedes.The MST3K version, of course, is priceless. I highly recommend it--it will ease the pain.