PRINCESS OF MARS is another of the lame mockbuster movies put out by The Asylum, this one ripping off JOHN CARTER. It's another Edgar Rice Burroughs adaptation in which a soldier is sent to an alien planet, where he must interact with the alien locals, save a beautiful princess, and engage in a war with a powerful enemy. Being an Asylum film, this is cheap and cheesy indeed, the usual desert adventure in which most of the supporting cast are guys wearing cheesy rubber masks. Antonio Sabato Jr. is completely wooden as the chiselled but one-dimensional lead, but you have to feel most sorry for Traci Lords, who really shouldn't be parading around in a bikini like this at her age. The whole film is silly and disappointing.

Antonio Sabato, Jr. is possibly the worst actor of his generation. And his acting "skills" are put to good use in this terrible adaptation of the beloved Edgar Rice Burroughs novel, "A Princess of Mars." Obviously bad acting, with a cast of the worst Soap Opera actors and middle-age porn stars money can rent, special effects that were done on a TRS-80, and Martian masks that your 3rd grader made in art class.Yes, it's terrible. On the other hand, some people like terrible movies, and Asylum must be doing something right because they're still in business. My auntie thinks the Sharknado films are hilarious, and, if nothing else, their films do keep terrible actors like Sabato from turning to gay porn, and former porn actresses from ending up in legit movies. AND, I guess Asylum does give would-be directors a chance to recognize they're not cut out to direct, so there's that, too. So, if you have no expectations, and laughing along with terrible movies is your thing, who am I to discourage you?

Clearly "Princess of Mars" is The Asylum's cash in on the "John Carter" movie that was out in March 2009, as "Princess of Mars" came out in December of the very same year. Is that a trademark of The Asylum, to take something that others made famous and then just sponge and leech of that success?At any rate, and regarding the motivation behind this movie, then The Asylum actually managed to pull of a fairly decent movie here, compared to some of the other more questionable releases they have spewed out.The story, if you are familiar with either the "John Carter" movie or the E.R. Burroughs novel, is about John Carter, a man from Earth, who end up on a distant red planet, where he have to save their world from impending doom.Pretty straight off the copy and paste storyboard here, without anything new or overly interesting to be added to the story. But still, the movie was enjoyable for what it was. A word of warning though; if you have seen the "John Carter" movie that was out earlier in 2009, then chances are that you might want to stay clear of this version. Imagine a weird hybrid of the 1980's "Flash Gordon" movie mixed with Disney's "John Carter" movie, and you have the end result coming out as "Princess of Mars".One thing that did puzzle me, though, with the technology and resources available to the human-like race on this red planet, why would their princess be clad so scantily like a common... Well, you get my meaning. It just didn't make sense. Or did it? Well, you have Traci Lords in the role as the princess, so of course, why wouldn't the director be having her running around half naked?The creature effects were adequate to look at, except for those bipedal reptiles that they used for mounts. They were just horrible to look at. Awfully animated CGI and they walked like they all had bad indigestion.I will say that The Asylum did put out a fairly enjoyable Sci-Fi movie here, but in the wake of Disney's "John Carter", then the movie pales in comparison.

This straight to video movie is a 'B' movie all the way, it doesn't pretend to be anything more. As I watched it I was reminded of the 'B' movies of the 1950s that I grew up with. The special effects are sometimes crude, and the fight scenes are closer to what you might see two neighborhood kids perform with wooden swords. I even saw John Carter duck one time right before his opponent swung his sword. Most of the time they just seem content with hitting each other's sword, not really trying to inflict pain.But don't take my opening comments as totally negative, because this is part of the charm of the film. As a 'B' movie, it works, it is appropriately entertaining. The cheesy dialog, the stilted acting, especially former porn star Lords. Sometimes it can be refreshing to take a break from the mega blockbusters of today, many of which are not nearly as entertaining as this one. On to the plot. Antonio Sabato Jr. is military man John Carter, who is gravely wounded during some fighting, and is given a special experimental treatment to save his life. With no explanation, he awakes, healed, on another planet, called Mars. But this is not the Mars we know, it is a planet in a different, far-away star system. It is quite a coincidence that they call their atmosphere "air" just like the Earthlings do. And the gravity seems to be a lot less because Carter can jump far and high with ease, giving him a type of superpower.Most of the inhabitants of this Mars are grotesque-looking creatures, but there are some who look like humans. Traci Lords is Dejah Thoris, who we find is called the Princess of Mars. We are never told why she has the title of Princess. But her people run the royal pumping station, which contains the device which filters and keeps the air 'day by day and night by night, clean and bright' as they are fond of saying. But the other inhabitants have come to believe all that is a lie, no such station is required. And that raised the specter of a giant conflict, led by Matt Lasky as Tars Tarkas. Also a nemesis is fellow human, Chacko Vadaketh as Sab Than who gets transported along with John. Worth a watch, just for the novelty. No, it is not a good movie, but it is a decent 'B' movie. Sometimes you have to watch movies like this to really appreciate the good ones.SPOILERS: Sab Than manages to destroy or disable the purification mechanism, soon all creatures start to have trouble breathing. But in a protracted fight Carter manages to get the upper hand while Than is carried off by a giant flying insect. Carter and the Princess make their way to the back-up purification unit (appering to be filmed in an idled chemical plant) and she starts it. Soon everyone starts to feel better and she smiles for the first time in the movie. But then Carter finds himself back on Earth, and became healed and returned to action. He did not tell of his transport to the strange planet, fearing humans would then take the opportunity to go there and overrun it. So the movie ends with him looking forward to the day he can return there, presumably after getting badly wounded again, to see the Princess he has fallen in love with.