Several folks find themselves being terrorized on a remote island by a deranged and dangerous family of backwoods cannibal hicks. Sound good? Well, it sure ain't. Man, does this mind-numbing schlockfest strike out something rotten in every possible way: The flat (non)direction by Henri Charr, the painfully plodding pace, the jumbled narrative that awkwardly jumps back and forth in time, the trite, tedious, and talky script by David Golia and John B. Pfiefer, the extremely poor acting from a lame no-name cast, the insipid cardboard characters, the severe death of both suspense and spooky atmosphere, and the crudely rendered graphic gore all make this turkey a truly grueling chore to endure. Luckily, the delectable Kirsten Baker, who played the sexy skinny dipper in "Friday the 13th Part 2," spends all of her screen time in a yummy red bikini that shows off her smoking hot tight body quite nice (and the less said about her underwhelming plywood performance the better). Moreover, wizened veteran character actor Hank Worden injects some much-needed (and appreciated) vigor into the otherwise lifeless proceedings with his enjoyably hammy portrayal of grumpy hillbilly patriarch Gramps Jebediah. But overall this crud proves to be so dull and draggy that it alas can't quality as a good bad time for connoisseurs of craptacular cinema. Absolute claptrap.

Although, I had no earthly idea on what to expect from this movie, this sure as hell wasn't what I would have had in mind, had anything actually come to mind. Once I heard of its existence, all I knew was that I had to own a movie called Please Don't Eat The Babies. unfortunately, I could only find a copy under its alternate title, Island Fury. Looking back, I guess I could call it a lose-lose situation. On one hand, I still don't get to be known as the guy who owns a movie called Please Don't Eat The Babies, and on the other hand, Island Fury would ultimately reveal itself to be an awful, pointless, boring, unwatchable piece of garbage. Yeah, definitely lose-lose.I'm not even sure what genre they're going for here. Just early 80's badness, with a flashback that might actually be longer than the non-flashback. First up, two teenage girls are being chased by two bad guys, once caught, the bad guys bring to our attention that one of the girls have a coin on a string, around her neck, and somehow, these bad guys know of a lot more of these coins hidden on an island somewhere. And this is where things start to get weird, somehow these guys know of a trip the girls took to some island, years earlier, when they were only 10. I guess this is supposed to mean that the girls should know exactly where this alleged treasure is. So, now, we're in the past, while the girls try to retrace their steps, so these bad guys don't kill them, although, I wouldn't have minded if they had. In the flashback, the 10 year old counterparts are on a boat trip with their sisters and the sisters boyfriends, eventually stopping by an island for some air, they get mixed up with some kid and his killer grandparents. Any potential suspense or reasons to keep on watching never shows up, but the flashback was undeniably better than the present, which still isn't saying a whole lot.For a while there I had forgotten about the original story. At one point, I thought maybe the director had too, and when the flashback ended, that would be the end, which would have worked for me considering this disappointment would have been a half-hour shorter. This pointless movie within a pointless movie does eventually end, and real stuff does happen, but it's stupid. I guess I didn't exactly expect a movie filled with infants being devoured, or anything like that, but I did expect some form of outlandish B-entertainment, mostly just a confusing, inept storyline, unsure of its genre. My advice would be to seek out something worthwhile like Attack Of The Beast Creatures. If anyone, I would only recommend this one to serious B-movie collectors who must have them all, anyone else interested probably has brain damage. What really gets me is that I still have no idea why they called it Please Don't Eat The Babies. 3/10

Roommates Sugar and Bobby Lee are abducted by menacing dudes while out shopping one day and taken back to a secluded island that the girls reluctantly tell the thugs that they last visited when they were ten years of age and that a fortune is located on. All that just pretty much bookends a movie that is pretty much one long flashback about the girls first visit to the island and subsequent fight with a cannibalistic family.This one is extremely horribly acted by everyone involved to the point that I started feeling bad for poor Hank Worden who truly deserved much MUCH better. As much as I didn't like "Barracuda" (that's on the same DVD) I have to admit that this film makes that one look like Citizen Kane.Eye Candy: one pair of tits (they might belong to Kirsten Baker) My Grade: F Dark Sky DVD Extras: Vintage ads for various drive-in food; and Trailers for "Bonnie's Kids" (features nudity), "the Centerfold Girls", "Part-time Wife" (features nudity), "Psychic Killer", & "Eaten Alive". The DVD also comes with 1978's "Barracuda"

Hank Worden, Mose in "The Searchers", winds down a great career with this student film mish-mash of a movie. Yachters use Worden's small island pier/store to stock up on supplies. The island is off limits and there is a curfew for the paying customers. Yachters are supposed to drop a few bucks and push off. Any one breaking the rules discovers Worden has a family inland that bears more than a passing resemblance to the Texas Chainsaw Clan. Which would have been fine. The film gets even more inept trying to inject a monster menace. Aquatic cockroach things that Worden's family has a weird empathy with.