Patrick Still Lives (1980)** 1/2 (out of 4) Patrick is standing by the side of the road when a speeding van passes by and someone throws a bottle out. It hits Patrick in the head and soon he is in a coma. His doctor father attached him to some weird machines and soon he's using mental powers to kill a bunch of people staying at a nearby resort.PATRICK STILL LIVES comes from Italy and is a fake sequel to the 1978 Australian film PATRICK. If you've seen that movie then you might agree that it was a well-made film but at the same time it was rather boring and didn't feature enough action to keep it moving. This Italian film on the other hand isn't all that well-made but it's so crazy, so over-the-top and silly that one can't help but love it for its exploitation gold.It should be noted that the producer, screenwriter and one of the actors would follow this film with BURIAL GROUND: NIGHTS OF TERROR. If you're familiar with that nutty zombie film then you'll be happy to know that this movie here is just as stupid and crazy. The only difference is that this film doesn't feature a creepy kid. This movie does feature wall-to-wall madness in the form of non-stop nudity. There are four beautiful ladies in the cast and all of them strip completely nude and leave nothing to the imagination. My research has shown that any sort of bad filmmaking can be resolved with beautiful Italian women in the nude.Not only do we get non-stop nudity from the beautiful actresses but there are also some crazy death scenes. When I say crazy I do mean crazy including one that has a female character being stalked by a metal pole and guess what happens when she crawls up on a table and spreads her legs? You can guess it. A more detailed effect of what we saw in CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST. Mariangela Giordano, from BURIAL GROUND, has a part here as does the beautiful Carmen Russo who is drop-dead gorgeous and the story tries to sell it that her husband isn't into her sexually. Right.PATRICK STILL LIVES isn't a classic film by any stretch of the imagination but it's pure Italian trash and comes highly recommended.

There really is no hope for coma patient Patrick Herschell (Gianni Dei): if he doesn't snap out of his catatonic state while gorgeous blonde secretary Lydia Grant (Andrea Belfiore), the object of his lust, feverishly masturbates mere inches from his face, then he never will!For several years now, poor Patrick has been a prisoner of his bed, unable to do anything but stare at the ceiling; he's been that way ever since a careless litter-lout threw a bottle from the window of a passing car, hitting him squarely in the face. While caring for his son, Patrick's father (Sacha Pitoëff), eminent professor and owner of a posh health clinic, has devised a system that allows his son to project his thoughts and move objects at will. With this incredible power, Patrick is able to vent his frustration and anger on the group of people currently staying at the clinic, one of whom may be the person responsible for his inability to do anything but perspire while a total babe is frottering against his bedstead.Although often referred to as an 'unofficial sequel' to 1978 Aussie psychic chiller Patrick, the plot for this exploitative, gory and sexually explicit trash-fest from director Mario Landi is completely unconnected to that movie; Landi simply borrows the basic premise and central character to tell his own twisted story. Not that I'm complaining, mind you, because I love a really sleazy Italian trash-fest, and they don't come much deviant than this unapologetically OTT sucker!From the word go, Patrick Still Lives delivers the goods in terms of quality female flesh, with plenty of nudity from what must be the finest collection of Italian crumpet ever assembled for a low-budget knock-off of a minor Aussie horror flick. Working alongside the lovely Lydia is the equally sexy Meg (Anna Veneziano), whose only responsibility at the clinic seems to be to pet the guard dogs; the female guests are also real crackers, with politician's wife Cheryl (Carmen Russo) possessing a magnificent set of breasts and the gorgeous Stella (Mariangela Giordano) also being the owner of a mighty impressive set of curves (and an equally hairy minge—natch!).For over half an hour, viewers must be content with this constant display of nekkidness courtesy of these fine fillies, after which Patrick finally begins to rack up some kills: first to go is Carmen's hubby, boiled alive in a swimming pool (or frozen by the dry ice that is used to achieve the crap bubbling water effect); the next victim is hung up on a hook, the point piercing under the chin; the third victim arguably suffers the worst fate—a roasting spit rammed up her vagina and out of her mouth (with no gory detail spared!!!!); one of the women has her head sliced off by an electric car window; last but not least, the guard dogs turn on Meg and eat her alive (man's best friend, but apparently not so nice to women).Despite Landi's focus being on the sex and violence, the film also boasts some startlingly effective imagery along with all the blood, boobs and bush: garish coloured lighting transforms many an otherwise mundane scene into a macabre cartoonish nightmare, and although the effect might be considered laughable these days, the repeated image of Patrick's eyes multiplied over the action is certainly very memorable. A Goblin-style synth score from Berto Pisano lends a soupçon of class (where none was really needed).A pointless blackmail subplot is never resolved, and once Patrick has sated his desire for revenge, Landi wraps up his film in extremely abrupt fashion without revealing the real identity of the bottle-thrower, but since most people who check out this film will be be doing so purely for the nudity and splatter, this lack of exposition is excusable.7.5 out of 10, rounded up to 8 for IMDb.

Ah, the wonders of exploitation cinema… For reasons incomprehensible to the normal-functioning human mind, director Mario Landi decided to make an extremely gory and sleazy Italian sequel to a tame and almost bloodless Australian thriller. "Patrick Still Lives" hence became one of the poorest and most pointless movies ever, with an ultra-thin and laughable storyline, absolutely no tension and secondhand sets & scenery. The good news, however, is that it also ranks as one of the sickest and most misogynistic productions ever, which then again makes the ultimate "wanna-have" for avid cult collectors. That's horror fan logic for ya! Professor and private-clinic owner Herschell is looking for the person responsible for his son's eternal coma and therefore he lures a bunch of weird people to his estate. Patrick lives like a vegetable but he can still count on his telekinetic powers to violently kill everyone within a close range and thus all the guests die in horrid ways, whether they're guilty of anything or not. These murders are clearly intended to come across as nasty and extremely mean-spirited but the make up effects are cheap, so the movie never at one point feels disturbing. The goofiest thing definitely is the complete lack of structure! The male character of which I thought he'd be the surviving hero is one the first to die and there isn't even a real ending to the story. In case the clinic location looks familiar to you, it means you watch way too many crappy movies like this! The same mansion was used in Andrea Bianchi's "Burial Ground". Both movies were scripted (if you can call it that) by Piero Regnoli and they also share a lead actress! Mariangela Giordano, who has a poker stuffed up her vagina, is the same woman whose boob got bitten off in "Burial Ground". Somehow, her entire career seems to revolve on her intimate parts! "Patrick Still Lives" is warmly recommended to all you sick puppies out there.

Bearing little of no relation to to the late 70's flick 'Patrick', this exercise in exploitation tries to deliver the goods, only to be impeded by it's own intentions.Patrick is a kid (by kid I mean a guy who looks to be in his 30's) stuck in a kind of waking comma, unable to move or speak, yet fully sentient of the world around (and not around) him. His mostly insane father seeks to avenge/rectify the condition his son is in and sets up a secret laboratory for research and invites a group of people to his estate to test the powers his damaged son now possesses.Pretty much from the start it's clear this isn't going to be a good movie per say, but should work fairly well as exploitation. It gives it the old college try, but consistently comes up short.Problems begin with the script, which keeps afloat about as well as a brick. Plotting is wrong headed and scenarios never approach believable, even by genre standards. The characters are stupid, and I don't mean the average garden variety horror movie retards; I'm talking about some of the most brain dead specimens in all of film. So inept are the characters that even with full motor control and verbal abilities, they still seem more dysfunctional than poor crippled Patrick.Writing has never been the strong suit in these kinds of films, so that could be forgiven if the fan service is up and running. It is, kind of, but not enough to save this effort. Clever and creative deaths are marred by all around cheesy FX and gore. The film's key-note shock scene, a bit where a woman gets impaled through her genitals, sounds more shocking than it really is, as the cut-away dummy used looks so fake as to induce chuckles rather than shrieks. The rest of the deaths suffer a similar fate; creatively staged and imagined, poorly designed and executed (pun not intended).The rest of the technical aspects are par for the course; schlocky acting, cheesy dialogue, and acceptable if all together limp direction. The only saving grace is the notable presence of gobs of full-frontal (mostly all female) nudity.Serious fan of exploitation will garner the most mileage out of this puppy to be certain, everyone else should just pass right by.4/10