Wow. Funny in all the wrong ways. Somewhat of a poor man's South Pacific. Everything that South Pacific got right, this movie got terribly wrong. I am slowly working my way through all of Esther Williams movies and I love Howard Keel (Annie Get Your Gun & Seven Brides for Seven Brothers), but this movie was not their best foray into cinema. For one several times through out the movie both of them look like they fell into a vat of bronzer, then at other moments in the film they appear to be as white as the moon. The songs are enjoyable, but forgettable.

Howard Keel inherits a plantation in Tahiti, Esther Williams is a local girl he falls in love with....and that's about it as far as story goes in this light-as-air, exotic musical. Eye-filling Hawaiian (actually) sights and two very attractive stars (Esther must have been in the best shape of any female movie star of her time) make "Pagan Love Song" a pleasant diversion, even though it is mostly uninspired, both musically and comedically. The one exception is an extended underwater sequence with Esther near the end. The DVD includes a number of songs deleted from the final cut, which accounts for the short running time (only 76 minutes). ** out of 4.

The most minor of Arthur Freed's minor MGM musicals, and one suspects he took it on because it showcased his (rather pedestrian) lyrics. It's a Tahitian treat, by present-day standards astonishingly racist, with the happy, stupid natives bowing and doing the bidding of Howard Keel, an Ohio teacher who has inherited a dilapidated tropical estate, and Esther Williams, who keeps saying she's through-and-through Tahitian and has dusky makeup to back it up, but comes equipped with a Nebraska accent and seems incapable of playing anything but American. About the most dramatic thing that happens is it rains, and Keel and Williams squabble and make up, while a very young Rita Moreno schemes to get them back together. The two stars look terrific, Keel runs around shirtless most of the time, the Harry Warren melodies are very easy to take, and Esther's one underwater ballet displays Technicolor hues that will probably never be seen again. The storytelling's lazy and condescending, Robert Alton is not a natural-born director, and inconsequential doesn't begin to describe it. For all that, it's fun and tuneful and unpretentious, and you may even enjoy the over-simplistic world view of 1950.

"Pagan Love Song" is an enjoyable film. However, I heartily agree with other reviewers that point out that the film really has little in the way of plot. Instead, it's just an excuse to feature Esther Williams in a swimming suit and hear Howard Keel belt out a few tunes. Oddly, however, quite a few of the songs seem to have little to do with the thin plot--like they randomly tossed in a few tunes.The film is set in Tahiti, but I strongly suspect that the thing was filmed in Hawaii, as the extras all seemed to speak English and lacked French Polynesian accents. It begins with Hazard (Howard Keel) arriving on the island to take possession of a plantation. One of the first persons he meets is Mimi (Esther Williams) and he stupidly assumes she cannot speak English and is some simple native--not realizing she's well educated and from an excellent family. Now you KNOW that eventually the two will fall in love and marry but in between is a lot of nonsense--none of which seems particularly important. Additionally, there are the obligatory song and dance numbers. Overall, it's a pretty piece of fluff and no more. A pleasant diversion and no more.