Nurse-Made (1971) * (out of 4)An out of work nurse walks around New York City looking for a job. While reading the paper she sees an ad with someone asking for a personal nurse. She goes and meets the older gentleman and soon learns that he needs a nurse for sex.NURSE-MADE is a really bad movie that was shot without sound and has a narrator telling us the story of the nurse. I'm going to guess that this thing was shot for a few thousand dollars if that. I've certainly seen much worse out there but this film was just so cheap and so boring that I quickly grew tired of it even though it was just 61-minutes.This is a softcore movie that basically has various scenes of the nurse and old man getting it on. A couple other characters are eventually introduced but all four of them are rather boring. The film was poorly shot and I'd argue that there's really nothing interesting that happened. The two women are cute enough for this type of film but there's really no reason to watch this thing.

As stroke magazine publishers learned, perhaps dating back to Hugh Hefner's invention of Playboy 60 years ago, big naked breasts sell. That's all NURSE- MADE has to offer, in a particularly crummy porn film.It has been recently unearthed on a two-fer with an even worse effort HEAD NURSE, so caveat emptor.The four-character opus was shot MOS, and some dialog is randomly dubbed over not matching the visuals. The two heroines each have (their dubbers that is) lengthy erotic monologues, not of the exciting Bibi Andersson in Bergman's classic PERSONA variety, but merely sort of an audio book rendition of a stroke book chapter about early sexual experiences. These aural accounts are more interesting than the visual filler.Unemployed practical nurse Joy Larsen occasionally walks around on the streets of Manhattan or sits in a park, but otherwise there are two dreary sets used for the full hour. Two creeps, old Art and young Tony concoct (in voice-over) a dumb scam to place an ad in the Times for a nurse, and get her to hump them. Joy answers the ad, and in the next room gets to overhear (as planned) them discussing old Art's will whereby his entire fortune will be inherited by any woman who is making love to him when he dies (causing it presumably), otherwise his estate goes to charity.Hired as his 24-hour intensive care private nurse, Joy falls for it and keeps humping the white-haired coot for nearly half an hour of running time. Seeing that if anything he's getting healthier, she enlists the assistance of a pal Georgette to also hump him and speed up his fatal attack.As noted above, the big breasts belonging to Georgette provided points of interest for me to survive the final half of the film, showcasing them. She's extremely short in stature but was probably a stripper, and anatomically closely resembles current natural huge breasts porn star Siri, replete with a fake red wig. Film almost crosses over into hardcore territory when "Georgette" masturbates, giving full attention with her hands to her thick bush but avoiding penetration. During a troilism scene of both gals servicing Art, Tony arrives on cue and gets a foursome going. The men's balls are shown, but no dicks so this is strictly soft-X.A "shock" violent ending is merely stupid and has none of the significance often attributed to same by revisionist "porn scholars". It's hard to imagine a cheaper bait & switch using the commercial hook of "nurse" in the title (I recall Roger Corman packing 'em in at the drive-ins at this time with his series of R-rated nurse pictures): merely having Joy wear (and remove) a nurse's outfit. This was rudimentary, antiquated porn, already outdated when released.

An old man feigns having a heart condition as well as a sizable inheritance so he can coerce an attractive young nurse into taking special care of him. Man, is this hilariously horrendous honey downright Doris Wishmanesque in its alarming ineptitude: We're got all-thumbs (mis)direction by Robert M. Mansfield, stiff acting from a lame no-name cast, a slight meandering plot complete with a surprise grim twist ending, ungainly simulated soft-core sex involving homely folks whom one really doesn't want to see naked, goofy narration that drones on and on, gals sporting bad wigs and ugly eye shadow, a busty redhead with frighteningly enormous breasts, crude cinematography, and, best of all, some of the worst and most obvious dubbed in post-production dialogue ever committed to celluloid (people talk but their mouths don't move and vice versa!). Only Bob Mann's funky-chilling score manages to add a smidgen of competence to this otherwise hopelessly ham-fisted atrocity. A total tacky hoot and a half!