I've never thought about writing a review for a film on IMDb, but "Nukie" was the straw that broke the camels back as it easily goes beyond being so bad that it's fun to laugh at as there is nothing to laugh at in this film. Not one thing. Not even a scrap of entertainment can be gleaned from this festering cesspool of film. Yes, it really is that bad.Two horrific puppets who look like dried up turds cause mayhem for no reason while speaking fluent English (as can several animals for no explained reason)as they try to find each other and return to space. Not one plot point is explained. Not one background character makes any sense. Plot direction and continuity are flung out of the window as the director tries to ham fist slapstick into the film with talking computers and unfunny monkeys.I'd tell some details of the plot but it's thin beyond redemption and seems to alter from minute to minute. At an hour forty long, you feel as if you've been trapped staring into an abyss for days once you are done.Rating: -10/10, avoid at all costs.

If, by grace of God, you were epileptic, Nukie might just trigger a seizure. This would hopefully prevent you from watching the rest of this film. There are certainly enough idiotic lens-flare light effects and crap. I saw "Nukie" as a child; my father had rented it and has since been convicted by the Hague.From here on out, I'm not sure I can string together intelligible sentences to describe this film. It consists primarily of a disgusting little alien rushing around the desert, while his brother shrieks NUUUUUKEEEEEE approximately fourteen thousand times. Some kid gets bitten by a snake (cue stock "snake" footage). Nothing makes sense in this film. The snakebite at least limits the number of characters. These people spend their days rushing around shouting things like, "He's an alien made of PURE ENERGY!" Said alien just happens to look a bit like Grandpa, if you turned him inside-out. I can't stop crying. Even if you love campy movies, this one will break you.

I have seen many movies in my time, many good, many bad. About 2 years ago my friends and I began watching films that could fall under the "so bad it's good" category, an often amusing, but none the less hit and miss approach to entertainment. After much thought I have concluded that 'Nukie' is in a class entirely of its own.'Nukie' is in ways astonishing, in that it seems to melt the brain of those that watch it into a messy syrup. What makes Nukie so brutally awful is hard to pinpoint, but the main issues seem to be in the characters, and the overall pace of the movie. The characters are nauseating to say the least, with the tortured, draining whimpers of aliens' Nukie and Miko becoming a motif throughout the course of the film. The Nukie costume is an assault on the senses, with a vulgar 'groin bump' and Hitler snot too, the 'hero' is not the cute extra-terrestrial the videos box promises at all. The plot is non existent, and whenever the story seems to be getting somewhere something horrific happens that seems to shoot down all the progress that damn alien has made (if any). Whats more, 'Nukie' has the bizarre quality of slowing down time, making this the most agonizing 95 minutes of you life.I bought a 'Nukie' video for $2 and was hoping for a movie to tear to pieces with my friends. We lasted about 20 minutes before it got us. I think others who have seen this will understand.Not only is 'Nukie' the worst film I have seen, it is the worst film I will EVER see.Be prepared.Miko!

"Nukie" is a celluloid cesspool. Forget about insulting its audience, I feel like I've insulted myself by forcing myself to watch the entire movie. I can't even relay the plot because I lost track 1/3 of the way through. It is an utter failure in every measurable way. I've seen a lot of crap films, but there is nothing I've seen that tops this.Nukie is ugly. He has snot dripping from his nose. He befriends a talking chimpanzee. He meets the chimp's "cousin," a talking baboon. He can metamorphose into a ball of light. The special effects were surpassed in movies made thirty years earlier.Thank god "Nukie" was a failure, or else we might have had to endure Nukie lunchboxes or a Nukie TV show. Even worse, a shrieking Nukie plush toy – "MMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKKKKOOOOOOOOOOOO!." Oh my god I need a drink, now.