Ninja's Extreme Weapons
Ninja's Extreme Weapons
| 01 January 1987 (USA)
Ninja's Extreme Weapons Trailers

A ninja hero stealthily sets out to get revenge upon the mobsters who murdered his brother.

Reviews
Comeuppance Reviews

Boss Pierce is an angry, wheelchair-bound drug lord who has made millions on his illegal trade. Doubtless his ace in the hole is that he employs two ninjas, naturally named Claude and Brian, to do his bidding. When a cool dude named James comes along to try to take down the baddies, he tries to enlist the pretty Nancy to help him in his quest, but her brother Steven, who dresses in stylish bathrobes and has a commanding mustache, is against the idea. Meanwhile, James becomes romantically interested in a woman named Angela, but her motives are suspect. But the Boss Pierce ninja gang has their hands full with a "Blue Ninja" who keeps foiling all their plans. Then another underworld figure named Boss Brown comes on the scene. But maybe Boss Pierce can end all this madness with his magical "Ninja Ring"? Get ready for another round of confusion as only Godfrey Ho can weave...Godfrey Ho's eighteenth movie of 1988 (that's not a joke - it's actually true), Ninja's Extreme Weapons has all of his trademarks: a cut-and-paste style that is largely nonsensical to viewers (at least viewers seeking rational, linear entertainment, and if you were one of those, you wouldn't even know who Godfrey Ho was, much less be watching one of his movies), loud dubbing with abrasive, phony-sounding British accents, and ninjas, ninjas, ninjas. The movie might not make any sense, but it doesn't skimp on the ninja action. The 80's Ninja Boom that occurred in video stores that we're always talking about was largely driven by Mr. Ho and his prodigious output. It seems that even in his most confounding films, there's always something new and cool in the ninja department that we haven't seen before. And here is no exception.Outside of the normal high-jumping white guys, disappearing ninjas, swordplay, throwing stars and the like, we also get treated to "ninja massage" and so much more. As for James, the poor man has to go through the entire movie with just about every other character constantly criticizing his "playboy" status. That must make you quite the pariah in Hong Kong. He even laments at one point, "Some people judge me for being a playboy, but I get the job done". And how could he not fall for Angela, what with her prominently-placed "bowtie bear" on her couch? It's no rival to the Garfield phone, but it's something. Sure, it's all very silly and wacky, but you knew that going in, didn't you? As is usually the case in Godfrey Ho-land, the characters wear some very cool clothing, with some very out-there patterns. And the wallpaper is the same. At one point, someone with a large-collared, wild-patterned shirt is standing in front of a wall with a very similar pattern (which by today's standards might be called an "eyesore" but we beg to differ) and he looks like a floating head. There's a great scene in a club with a live band that's playing music completely different from what we hear on the soundtrack. The discrepancy is so obvious, it's really funny. There are plenty more off-the-wall moments but we don't want to spoil them for you. But even a movie as off-kilter as this falls prey to a common pitfall: it slows WAY down before the climax. Usually Ho gives us a "Final Field Fight" and here is no exception. And you have to love those stop-on-a-dime endings.Fans of Godfrey Ho and cinematic wackiness will love Ninja's Extreme Weapons; snobs and people with no sense of fun will not. And check out that killer box art!

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HaemovoreRex

Yes indeedy, it's yet more cut and splice ninja shenanigans as delivered unto us by that wonderful chap, Mr Tomas Tang.....or is it Godfrey Ho? In fact the version I watched has a certain Victor Sears as director with Tang as producer. The tangled web of intrigue behind these movies and the dubious dealings, non payment of certain actors and multiple aliases adopted by the makers have become the stuff of (infamous) cinematic legend so it's virtually impossible to say who directed what with any certainty. Truly the only thing that one can say with any degree of confidence is that these films possess a comparable level of technical proficiency that would have surely rendered even the late Ed Wood speechless with horror!The 'plot' here at least is pretty straight forward (a rarity for these films!) The police confiscate a suitcase of heroin from some big time dealers. A group of ninja then steal the case from the police....in turn blue ninja (the good guy) steals the merchandise from the bad guys....got that? OK...now throw in a prostitution/female slavery racket, a playboy hero (who may or may not be a cop-it's never really explained), a wheel chair bound crime boss who despises his son and a magic ninja ring(!) and I'm sure you get the idea.....don't you? At this point I feel that I really must commend all the actors concerned in the newer edited in segments for their outstanding contribution to gob-smackingly abysmal cinematic performances, especially as showcased in one jaw dropping scene where the wheel chair bound bad guy begs one of his henchmen never to let his son get hold of his magic ring. Truly such a rivetingly atrocious display has seldom before or since ever been committed to celluloid. To the actor playing the said part - I salute you sir! May all future poor acting performances be judged upon the standards thou set in this incredible scene; A veritably priceless performance indeed!As is customary in these films, the ninja are obliged to meet up at the films climax for a final showdown. Interestingly, the fight at the end of this is far larger scale than is usually witnessed in these movies with our lone hero taking on about twenty ninja at once in an enjoyably energetic battle. Not that the odds are any problem for our man, no, he's doing just fine against his multiple foes until that is, by seemingly some miracle, wheel chair guy lets off a lunatic yell, suddenly leaps about 30 feet into the air and proceeds to beat the crap out of him!!! EH?! WHAT THE HELL?!Blue ninja is subsequently tied up and asked where he has hidden the drugs stash. After initially refusing to cooperate, he is suddenly eager to divulge the requisite info when wheel chair guy (or is it miracle man?) orders that he be killed. Revealing the suitcase full of drugs to be situated in a nearby tree, blue ninja is spared but is hoisted up into the air by ropes to be further punished.However, he has one last surprise in store, for when wheel chair man orders the case to be opened, the 'Extreme Weapon' of the films title is detonated sending wheel chair man and all his lackeys on a one way ticket to the great beyond!What can I say? High art this is not, and it's certainly not even one of the better efforts of it's kind, but for fans of this much maligned sub(standard)genre, this should certainly provide a chuckle or two.

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youyesyou_

i rented this movie based solely upon how awesome the boxart was. the biggest focal point of the box is an awesome rock star of a ninja upper cutting the air with some kind of handle with spikes on it which is awesome and i'm assuming was part of the "extreme weapons" that the title of the movie refers to. the ninja is wearing a sheriff's badge for a reason that eludes me. but he is a ninja and he's awesome and nobody tells an awesome ninja that he can't wear a sheriff's badge unless they want their head cut off. in the upper left hand corner, there are helicopters descending upon a city in the mist and in the lower right hand corner there is a 7-47 plowing into the ground and exploding.i thought it would be difficult, if not impossible to top the awesome front cover. how wrong i was. a glance at the back of the box shows some stuff blowing up on a desert landscape and a ninja flying out of the debris while riding a motorcycle. ninjas on motorcycles are extreme. the only way that could possibly be toped would be if the ninja was playing a guitar and rocking out while simultaneously flying out of the explosion. and i saw a ninja do that once before in a magazine. so the guy on the back of the box was only half-ninja. but a ninja nonetheless.the plot has something to do with drug dealers trying to get ahold of a briefcase that has something important in it and then ninjas come and attack them and kill everyone including the briefcase. or so i imagine because the briefcase was no longer in the movie after that scene. i couldn't discern who the main character of the movie was, but there was a Chinese guy called james. james was not a ninja but he wore a cool jacket and was a ladies man. he gets into a hot tub with some girl and then half way into the movie, james meets a Chinese pimp and they go somewhere and aren't seen for the duration of the movie. then there's a scene with some American soldiers wearing sunglasses who get attacked by a man in a dragon costume. after that, the rest of the movie has to do with a drug lord in a wheelchair who looks like the unholy love child of tony blair and gollum. he is no mere crippled drug lord, though. he is a crippled drug lord who is also the leader of a tribe of ninjas. or a flock of ninjas. or a bundle of ninjas. whatever they're called.anyhow, some stuff happens and a blue ninja comes and beats all of them up. he even beats up a red ninja with a mustache who looks like he's actually wearing a modified rain coat. then out of nowhere, they cut to a shot of tony blair like cripple man drinking some tea and then HE FLIES OUT OF HIS CHAIR WITH A BIG "WAAAH" AND ATTACKS THE BLUE NINJA. well actually, he doesn't really attack him. he just kind of massages his neck back and forth and the blue ninja goes into some kind of seizure.but obviously, that was just a cover up. you can't stop a ninja in blue. he was just trying to make the gollum guy look stupid because he is a true ninja unlike the fake cripple guy who wasn't even a half ninja because he rode around in a wheelchair and not a motorcycle. the blue ninja had wit and wisdom and was all like "yeah right stupid, you can't stop me." so he gets up, does a backflip over a whole tree and opens a box covered in tinfoil and stuff explodes and everyone dies but him and he says something about god and a prophecy and then the movie is over.

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