Ninja Force of Assassins is roughly the 312th movie that Godfrey Ho directed in 1988 alone, though that figure could be off by a few hundred. Maybe we've seen too much of his output by this point in time, but our heads were really spinning during this particular bout of unfollowable nonsense. We don't mean that to have negative connotations; Ho makes the concept of "nonsense" his own and truly redefines the term in his own unique way, and it's not without its charm. Apparently this time around, as if a plot was needed as a pretext for all the cut-and-splice ninja nuttiness, a gangster named Boss Cole is rivals with a White Ninja, meanwhile there's an Interpol agent who may or may not be a ninja, and there's something called a Ghost Shadow Squad and this leads to a ton of fighting interspersed with some classic dubbed dialogue. That's the briefest and most logical way to describe what's going on, though that may be a lost cause because you can't apply logic to Mr. Ho's works, it's like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.While many of the hallmarks of Ho's filmmaking style are on display here, such as the wacky ninja action with plenty of stunts and tricks, the Final Field Fight, the stop-on-a-dime ending, the musical cues that sound suspiciously like "New York Groove", and the fact that most of the "ninjas" consist of White guys with bizarre hair, there are some notable differences as well. Firstly, Richard Harrison is nowhere in sight, and secondly, the fight scenes, at least in some of the non-ninja brawls, seem a little grittier and more interesting than usual.That's the thing about Ninja Force of Assassins: it has many elements of coolness, and together with some solid action, this could have been one of Godfrey Ho's best, if it just had more coherence. But, it remains typical Ho, with the standard mumbo-jumbo. But it does have a guy who looks like a more-ratlike version of Kevin McDonald of Kids in the Hall fame, and the time-honored Yelling While Shooting a Machine Gun. So there is fun to be had, if you're in the right frame of mind and/or a fan of the particular Ho brand of silliness.

OK.....are you all sitting comfortably? Good, then I'll begin.....This is the story of crime boss Martin Cole who sends out one of his loyal henchmen, Mr Woods, to visit the leader of the black ninja in order to request that the ninja leader retrieve a secret list of names and a secret file from the white ninja who was entrusted with the aforementioned list and file by the retiring drug lord Mr Jones. (Have you got that?) Black ninja accepts the task and confronts white ninja who refuses to hand over the goods. A fight inevitably ensues with no clear winner and white ninja retreats to safety. Woods returns to boss Cole who orders him to assassinate Mr Jones. Mr Woods carries out this task with a sniper rifle and sends Jones into the afterlife with a bullet to the head...fair enough. At this point another crime lord, Mr Pitcher, decides to take over the drug trade (under the employment of boss Cole) However, the cops learn of matters and start to poke their noses in thus prompting Cole to have the leading investigative officer assassinated. The contract goes ahead and the said police officer is run over in a public park but also injured is the officers son, Joe, who also happens to be on the force and who subsequently swears an oath of revenge for his fathers death.Joe proceeds to murder a few prominent members in the crime organisation which prompts Pitcher and Cole to sanction his death also. Cue lots of impromptu fights that inevitably break out between Joe and the crime lord's cronies.Meanwhile Jack, from Interpol, is assigned to bring down boss Cole. In addition, Jack also happens to be the white ninja AND is the former best friend and army buddy of Woods!!! What a small world eh?!Jack and Woods meet up to reminisce over old times but Jack senses something is wrong and determines to tail Woods. As he is doing so he is suddenly attacked by the black ninja boss and yet another fight breaks out between the two. Yet again, there is no clear winner with both participants retreating. Jack continues to follow Woods but next inadvertently falls into an ambush by Woods and his cronies who give him a bit of a beating…..eh…hold on….isn't Jack a ninja?! How the hell come can't he handle some simple civvies?! Anyway, it turns out that Woods doesn't want Jack dead (as they were buddies) and allows him to escape by showcasing possibly the most dreadful example of fight choreography ever committed to celluloid! (The 'fight' actually more closely resembles two drunks trying to Waltz!)Woods' two henchmen sniff a rat though (as would anyone with half a brain having witnessed such an inept display!) and snitch on him to boss Cole who is understandably none too impressed.Meanwhile, Pitcher orders his goons to kidnap Jesse, Joe's police partner. The first attempt to do so fails when an undercover Interpol agent thwarts it, however a second attempt succeeds. Luckily for Joe though, his girlfriend, Vicky (who also works for Interpol) has infiltrated Pitchers gang and is able to free Jesse.Unfortunately for her, Pitcher finds out and has her bumped off to! Furthermore, he has his henchmen kill off Joe's sisters and mother!Understandably mightily peeved by this, Joe strengthens his resolve and kidnaps one of Pitchers men to interrogate him (with a little bit of torture!) He learns from his captive of a drugs deal going down in a warehouse the next day after which Joe's friend sets the man on fire!!! Okkkaaaayyyy.The next day Joe and his pal crash the party as it were and wipe out the miscreants who killed his family. In addition, Pitcher is apprehended by the police but sadly, as one final tragedy, Joe's police pal is shot dead.Meanwhile elsewhere, Jack meets up with Woods again to try to persuade him to give up his criminal lifestyle. Suddenly Woods is shot by the snide goons of boss Cole whilst Jack leaps behind a bush. This is where things get really complex…..the two goons transform into black ninja who multiply to make about ten ninja! In response, Jack transforms into blue ninja (I thought he was white ninja?!) and in turn doubles himself! A big fight breaks out with blue ninja the eventual victor!With the black ninja vanquished Jack cradles Woods in his arms who with his final dying breath muses that he may be reincarnated as a good guy next time around (!!!)The End!Okay…..just a few questions: What happened to the black ninja leader? Why didn't he show up for the finale? Also what happened to boss Cole? Did he do a runner or something? And whatever happened to the secret list of names and secret file that white/blue ninja was supposedly holding? We may never know, for these and a plethora of other loose ends are never tied up! Yes indeed, this is a typically baffling Tomas Tang cut and splice affair which will leave you scratching your head long after the abrupt ending.In conclusion, for fellow fans of the ninja cut and splice sub genre, this is essential viewing! (not least of all for that hilarious scuffle between Jack and Woods which is truly a monumentally and hilariously dreadful scene!)