Nikos the Impaler
Nikos the Impaler
| 08 March 2003 (USA)
Nikos the Impaler Trailers

Due to a botched robbery attempt, a ruthless Romanian barbarian is somehow resurrected in modern day New York and begins wreaking havoc on a small Manhattan art-house. Chaos ensues as the patrons of the establishment band together to fight for their lives.

Reviews
wolaf90044

This movie is obviously a low budget splatter-flick as clearly expressed on the cover. I don't understand why reviewers are expecting great acting and Hollywood special effects. This is a project done by people who really just love what they do, and they do it for free. If you're looking for Hollywood stuff then watch Hollywood stuff. I personally enjoy this movie very much and I suggest it often because I personally know what it's like to create with no capitol. I rarely see a big budget film that sticks in my mind long enough to recommend it to others. Niko's decapitates and disembowels New York with no big names and zero budget. Andreas Schnaas writes, directs, acts and creates his own special effects. He will make it happen with rocks and dirt if he has to. Hollywood needs a thousand hands and millions of dollars and can't even do remakes well the majority of the time. Peace.

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Sinister_Zombie

First and foremost, I do NOT regret buying this one bit. Its a low-budget gore movie and thats exactly what you get, with added comedy. The plot is very simple. Big bad barbarian called Nikos becomes a bit of a problem for some ancient Romanian people, so they go along and kill him. With his dying words he states that death will not stop him. Cut to modern day, with an exhibition of ancient Romanian art in full swing. Of course there just happens to be the mask of Nikos hanging around in a store room and right on cue - a robbery attempt occurs. Well, suffice to say, blood gets spilt, and right on Niko's mask too. Thats his signal to rise up and wreak bloody vengeance on anybody and everybody in his way.Its a monster/survivors style film, which really goes crazy at the end. I won't spoil it all, but Nikos manages to find some "special Powers" from somewhere and goes about resurrecting a few people to fight alongside him.The gore is good for what this film is. There's no ultra-realism, nor is it striven for. Some effects are so obviously fake, but strangely they don't detract from the overall impact of the film. We have people getting beheaded, cut in half at the waist and slit right up the middle! See, Nikos has one massive sword which he's quite fond of swinging at people, so we get a lot of action.Acting is amateur I'm sorry to say. And while you do expect flicks like this to have amateurs, I would have to say this is quite low. I've seen plenty of other films with better actors and lower budgets so...thats probably what knocked 2 stars off my score. Don't take it too hard though. The actors manage to drag the story along and they do OK in the screaming/running/dying categories.The words "Shower Scene" always seem to attract people's attention and certainly here we have a fairly good one. In the DVD extra's we have the full uncut (if you have the unrated DVD) version. Darrien Cane is a woman who's starred in a lot of Seduction Cinema films before so you may or may not be familiar with her. Whilst on subject, this is really the only spot of nudity we have. Its fairly explicit and all the better for it if you ask me.In conclusion, yes - do go out and buy it if you like this kind of thing. By "this kind of thing" I mean low-budget horrors with an emphasis on fun, campy gore and something great to have a beer to. Let me just mention the different versions though. IMDb tells you that the UK version is cut, and it is. In the shower scene, Nikos interrupts and there is a few seconds of literal breast-ripping that the BBFC didn't like. Subsequently this isn't in the rated version. If you can, get your hands on the uncut version - either directly from Andreas Schnaas on his site or from an importer.

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Martin Wagner

Prepare to laugh like you've never laughed before, people. Andreas Schnaas is the new Ed Wood! He can barely line up a shot, and whoever edits for him acts like he just bought his first iMac and is trying to puzzle his way through iMovie without reading the manual or even the onscreen tutorial. This is absolutely glorious cheese, a one-movie festival of filmmaking ineptitude, with performances that wouldn't pass muster in a high school play. The gore scenes will have you rolling on the floor in such convulsions of hilarity that EMS might have to be called in to feed you oxygen. When Nikos is brought back to life and promptly hacks off the head of the grandmotherly museum curator (with a totally "plywood spray-painted silver" sword), I thought I'd wake up the whole block with my laughter. This movie is fecal beyond the dreams of proctologists, but I swear, if you want to have an MST3K movie party at your place one night, your guests won't need to get wasted or toke up to appreciate this comedy of errors!Actual worth as a film: 0/10 "Cracking up all your friends at a party" value: 10/10

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Kristian Bakdal

Wow, I'm rather amazed I've seen a lot of bad horror movies in my life, but this one is probably the worst yet. I haven't seen any of Andreas Schnaas' other movie, but from what I've read this is his best movie. So I might just have to see the rest to see if it's really possible to make anything worse then this one. The acting was crappy, not really the biggest surprise this is after all a low-budget B-movie. But usually B-movie know how to make fun/interesting killing. This is not the case in Nikos. Basically Nikos is just a crappy Jason-clone who walks around killing people with his big-ass broadsword. and that's all he does! A guy walking around killing people with a big sword can actually make a decent movie, if the killer does it in new and interesting ways. Nikos doesn't do that, he just lobs of people's heads (with a few exceptions not may though).I wouldn't recommend this money to my worst enemy, no one should be made to watch this movie, it's simply too crappy.

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