The positive reviews for NIGHT OF THE TEMPLAR did make me chuckle as this is by no means a decent film. It's an indie horror film that masquerades as a mainstream movie thanks to the presence of a number of familiar faces in the cast. The only thing you'll be wondering is how they roped in so many big names. An old warning advises to watch out for films that are written by, directed by, and starring the same person and this film follows that proviso: I don't know who Paul Sampson is, but he's nothing much to write home about. The film is a mish-mash of cheaply-staged historical scenes and a few lame slasher-style moments as assembled characters are murdered by a maniac. Cast-wise, we get turns from old-timers David Carradine (what a film to end your lengthy career on!) and Udo Kier, alongside a randomly cross-dressing Billy Drago and poor old Norman Reedus on hiatus from THE WALKING DEAD. He must have been wondering what he walked into...

Saw that this film had a very healthy 6.5 rating on IMDb and so sat down to watch it at home with great expectations.This is a very,very bad film and does not deserve a rating anything like the one it has.It has obviously been hyped up by the Director's wife's cousin, the Producer's son's baseball team and the Best Boy's pet spaniel. A plot so convoluted as to be virtually incomprehensible,feeble acting and a script you wouldn't use to wallpaper your toilet await the unsuspecting viewer.This was apparently David Carradine's last film and the poor man must be spinning in his grave to have left this dross as his final legacy to the world or maybe he did it on purpose as his ultimate two-fingered gesture to the rest of us.My advice is that when you read the reviews of this film,you concentrate on the ones with a rating similar to mine and ignore the sycophantic ramblings of the camp followers.I managed about half an hour before I switched it off and darned a pair of socks which was infinitely preferable.

On the serious movie scale this movie wouldn't get more than a 2. Everything about this movie is horrible: Acting, directing, editing, writing. However, if you take everything with a grain of salt and treat it like The Room, you might actually find this movie quite funny and enjoyable.There is however, one problem with the reviews for this movie. The written reviews with 9 or 10 stars all appear to come from 1 person. 10 of the reviewed accounts are opened in July 2012, all leaving a 10 star review. Another 10 accounts that left 10 star reviews were opened over the course of a year. But all of them only have reviewed just this movie ( with the exception of 2. Those 2 accounts also reviewed an other movie Paul Sampson played in ).Still, I recommend this movie if you want a ridiculous movie to watch when you are drunk.

Billy Drago in drag… its an image and a concept my brain is still to comprehend. Why did this happen? How? To what purpose does it serve and does it even matter? Perhaps it's just one of those things, a random occurrence in the cosmos sparked by dense imagination and/or slight comic perversion and displayed for our hesitant amusement.Let's face it, our brains are only so big and we can only use so much of them… and while it is sadly a fact that I may never understand the grand concept of John Bly as a cross-dressing chef who before too-long has his/her life ended by a Knight Templar in a modern American manor, I strongly advise using yours to track down this awkward, bizarre, perhaps knowing or perhaps serious (I couldn't tell) small-budget oddity. Your inner critic may not thank you for it, but sometimes its better to tell that cat to scram while you groove with your inner 12 year old instead.If you succeed in that, you'll have a lot of fun here.The plot revolves around great medieval knight Lord Gregoire, who having been betrayed by his own adviser and warriors for an abundance of gold and riches, vows that after these traitors revel in 10 lifetimes of excess he will exact his bloody revenge. How this happens and the situations that arise from it are too confounding to detail here, especially concerning the true identity of the damsel our (anti)hero hooks up with at the film's end (this is simply brilliant) and what exactly the core group of characters have gathered for so this foretold 'night of the templar' can begin. Among these characters is an unfit deviant fittingly named Henry Flesh, played by none-other than The Walking Dead's Norman Reedus, who engages in a particular scene that he will one day be able to show to his kids with pride.Other notable actors supporting this original material include the simply legendary Udo Kier (Flesh for Frankenstein, Blood for Dracula, Suspiria, Europa, Shadow of the Vampire) who, while spending a large portion of his screen-time walking and starring, pleasantly progresses into a vital role come the third-act and elevates the camp proceedings with his thick accent and undiminished persona, and equally legendary David Carradine (Death Race 2000, Kill Bill) who sadly passed away in 2009 after post-production. Given the subtle lunacy here its obvious that these great actors signed up not just to pay the bills, but because they could sense a journey that an open-minded viewer could truly revel in; featuring, as the tagline reads, passion, loyalty, deceit, betrayal…and revenge. They were right.I sat watching this movie prepared to enjoy it, thanks to the promise of swordplay, violence and performances from two of my favorite cult actors; what I wasn't prepared for was the brazenly ridiculous script peppered with cues that certainly succeeded in making me chuckle when I wasn't wincing, and of course Billy Drago in drag… … that one tangible element of creative abandonment.That one element that should prove to you, ladies and gentlemen, that while this isn't perfect, it's a rickety barrel-load of fun that can be savored for all the wrong reasons, and will no doubt cause you to involuntarily smile when bored at work or frustrated at school in the following days. Sometimes we are simply not meant to know how things are, a side-effect of our limited minds, so instead of wondering exactly what would inspire someone to make this film, wonder instead how many times you can watch Sampson as the "events coordinator" intensely comforting a distressed, shy girl by kissing her on the forehead and bravely declaring that Henry Flesh will never touch her again.And there's that involuntary smile.3 random trophy-filled shelves out of 5 For more movie reviews and opinions check out - www.jordanandeddie.wordpress.com