MULVA: ZOMBIE ASS KICKER! is one of the earlier trash movies made by Chris Seaver on zero budget. I never thought I'd see a director who makes Troma's output look decent by comparison but Seaver is indeed that guy. This is a ridiculous story about a woman who fights zombies, but it's just an endless parade of guys making jokes to the camera and trying so desperately to be funny when they really aren't. There's no horror content, just stupid fright wigs and nonsense. The best part is Lloyd Kaufman's cameo in which he brings the Toxic Avenger and Sergeant Kabukiman along for the ride.

Just thinking about this "movie" to write a review makes my brain bleed. This has to be the worst thing ever filmed in the history of film and Netflix should be ashamed for offering it. Seriously, my husband made a better "gag-filled comedy" back in high school between rounds of Magic: The Gathering.I'm sure Mulva was meant to be annoying, but her whole gimmick is like that "one thing" that your friend does that's "sooo funny" where the ugly expressions and annoying voice done by that friend becomes the inside running joke. The problem is that that running joke is funny only to a select few and eventually, those select few will get tired of it as well. The actress in this role can't act, and I'm convinced that none of the cast could even play dead sufficiently enough to avoid being fatally mauled by a bear.I can forgive the low budget filming, however all the screen wipes and poor editing were pathetic. If it was a choice on Seaver's part, give the jerk a lobotomy and take away his camera.I truly believe 2 Girls 1 Cup would be easier to watch than this steaming pile.

Flashback! Flashback! I remember when I bought License to Kill with Denzel on the DVD cover. He made a very brief appearance in the movie. That was nothing compared to seeing Mulva on the cover of this DVD and thinking it couldn't be too bad if she's in it. Well, the Mulva in the Movie is not the girl on the DVD cover. She is butt-ugly and jonesing for chocolate, which is always on her face. What a ripoff! Now, that I am finished ranting, I will tell you what I really thought of this homemade production. Maybe Chris Seaver was hoping for an Oscar in some category, as he writes, directs, edits, shoots, and does the makeup. Maybe, he even brings the donuts.I endured this to see Debbie Rochon as Lady McPouchsweat. As usual, she acts way above whatever she is in, and she does that again here. As for the rest of the cast: let's just say it was stranger than anything I have ever seen.

Comment 1: I had to stop watching the movie after i heard the line, 'Do I have to swallow John Stamos's Semen?' i , i, I could not finish this movie and i am mad that i cannot punch Chris Seaver in his throat hole. My movie companion will not let me forget that i picked movie. I am Sorry, Sorry, Sorry. Comment 2:the hideousness of this "movie" will haunt my dreams forever. Was there a director? I don't know. Random scenes of nonsense that couldn't hold the attention of people stupid enough to pay for this movie. Boo to you. All IN ALL, I SHOULD NOT HAVE, and SEAVER, I HOPE YOU ARE HAPPY WITH EVEN GETTING A RESPONSE, GOOD OR BAD. I NOW KNOW WHAT A GOOD MOVIE IS!!!!!!!!!