The heroic warrior He-Man battles against the evil lord Skeletor and his armies of darkness for control of Castle Grayskull. I don't know how true on the animated series this movie is or the source material in general but i would be lying if i said that this isn't a good film. It's actually very fun and action packed, Dolph Lundgren was a perfect He-Man for the 80's and Frank Langella is perfect as Lord Skeletor. The battles are very good looking and the special effects for the time being very alive, Courteney Cox was also pretty good. Masters of the Universe is probably the Thor of the 1980's big tall, blond guy that opens a portal and comes to earth? ring any bells? This movie is so underrated. (A+)

Firstly, I must admit to not seeing very much of He Man at all-just enough to know that the show is essentially an extended advertisement for an action figure line, and not much else beyond this. This is significant because it reveals one of the central problems this film has right from the starting gun: there is very little meat on the source material to begin with, and already so little of it can be transferred onto an hour and 45 minutes of cinema, leaving the movie as much of a barren wasteland as Eternia itself. Perhaps this explains the film's insistence on taking as much as it can from the Star Wars franchise-anything to add meat to bones, it seems. There is furthermore not much else of value that can save this film from its lack of substance. A disappointingly long stretch of runtime has the film on the planet we humans call home, with the potential of the Castle Greyskull set only utilized in the movie's beginning and end. The performances of most of our actors range from adequately bland (Courtney Cox) to unacceptably terrible (poor Billy Barty), with Dolph Lundgren in particular even more stiff than his hulking muscles appear to be. Should I mention he is the star?The movie is not so devoid of value to the viewer as I perhaps have said it be, however. Frank Langella's turn as the power-hungry Skellator, who seeks to obtain the universe's power, is delightfully show-stealing, cheesier than a Texas grilled. The set of the Castle Greyskull, being used far too briefly, are yet admittedly impressive and do actually have the feel of it being another planet far from ours. And much of the film's action, apart from some quick edits to mask Dolph's apparent poor swordsmanship, is adequately shot and pulls in enough investment. Despite this, Masters of the Universe does not convince this viewer that it holds much worth, seemingly being more contempt as a cliche-ridden, empty shell of its source material and of the Star Wars franchise. I would advise whomever may read this to instead search for clips of Frank Langella as Skellator instead-I promise you that it would be a better use of the finite time you and I have in this universe.

Of all the things to admire about Frank Langella, and there are many, one of the more obscure is that his role here, as the villain Skeletor, is one of his favourites. Here's man who's been nominated for Oscars, been picky with the roles he's selected over a long career, and one of his favourite roles was playing a masked Shakespearean villain in a movie made on the cheap for kids that few people saw. Gotta respect that.So let's go back in time to the 1980s, and He-Man, subtle homosexual overtones and all, was King of Cartoon Land. "I have the POWER!!!" If you were young at the time, you know exactly what I'm talking about. So it was only a matter of time before a Hollywood studio got hold of the property and made a movie. Enter Cannon Films, makers of such masterpieces as Superman 4, The (ex)Terminator, and The Happy Hookers, to try and milk this cash cow.As the hero of the film we have Dolph Lundgren, just off the boat from Sweden and speaking his lines phonetically. And that will make a lot of his performance in this make sense. Poor guy literally has no idea what he's saying. He-Man is trying to save the kingdom of Eternia from Skeletor (Langella) who's forces have captured the Sorceress of Gray-Skull (Christina Pickles-nice name). Old Skull boy wants to take the Sorcerer's power and add it to his own while making some awesome Shakespearean monologues to his henchmen. To make matters worse Grinners has also stolen the mysterious "cosmic key" off a Dark Crystal reject. The key enables Skels to travel wherever he wants to in the Universe by playing a tune, which makes me wonder where he will end up if he plays Sweet Dreams by the Eurhythmics. Luckily He-Man is able to steal the key, and not wanting to get his ass kicked by the baddies at Castle Gray-Skull (including Evil-Lyn, played by Meg Foster, who I really need to introduce somewhere in this plot summary) He-Man and some offsiders cosmically leg it to Earth. Joining He-Man we have Man-at-Arms (a likable turn from Jon Cypher) his daughter Teela (Chelsea Field-The Last Boyscout), and the afore mentioned Dark Crystal reject Gwildor (Billy Barty, Nope, me neither).Once on earth they lose the key and it's found by Kevin (Robert Duncan McNeil of Star Trek Voyager fame) who thinks it's some darn fangle new Synthesizer. He has a girlfriend Julie (Courtney Cox) and eventually they get sucked into the main plot as the Laughing Langella and his forces come to earth to retrieve the key. Also dragged along is Detective Lubic (James Tolkan, the Principal from the Back to the Future films) and they all end up in Eternia to listen to another Langella monologue and eventually see He-Man save the Sorceress and kick Skeletor's ass.This movie is made on the cheap, and has a star who literally doesn't know what he's doing, or saying, or what anyone is saying to him. But what it does have aside from that is a surprising amount of fun. And I don't mean laughing at the movie, though there is certainly opportunity to do that in spades, but I mean the type of fun that is just you, as the viewer, enjoying yourself watching these guys. Front and centre of the enjoyment is Langella who relishes the opportunity to use his theatre training to run off on some truly glorious monologues. But I like a lot of the minor players in this too O'Neill and Cox get into this, as does Cypher. Foster, who apparently was sweltering in her costume for most of the filming, gives a perfectly acceptable portrayal of a villainess/ evil lackey.Masters of the Universe has a hero and a story who, apart from the homo-erotic subtext, are far removed from the cartoon. It's cheap, and obviously so, and has a lead actor giving a performance that has to be seen to be believed. It's no surprise at all that it bombed, and bombed huge. But that doesn't mean you can't enjoy this. This is the type of film that, if you were switching through channels on your TV on a rainy afternoon, you could put on and be pleasantly diverted, and sometimes that's all a movie needs to be. By no means Masterful, but hardly embarrassing. Ultimately, to summarise: not good, but it'll do.

'Masters of the Universe' is a movie whose problems come two-fold from the conception stage. It is a bad cheap looking movie based on a bad cheap looking cartoon show based on a set of bad cheap looking action figures. After that there isn't much left.He-Man could have been played by any number of last year's contestants for Mr. Universe. But the 'plum' goes to Dolph Lundgren whose wooden expression and personality make him the 'actor' that I least look forward to in any role. He-Man (a character not a million miles removed from Conan the Barbarian) is locked in a sword-clanking battle with Skeletor over the planet Eternia. But who would want it? It's dark, ugly and seems to be under the constant threat of bad weather.Somewhere under Skeletor's awful make-up effects stands Frank Langella but you would never know it. Skeletor is a skeletal creature but his skull looks like a painted plastic mask that someone must have put down a dollar for at the drug store.Anyway He-Man and his warrior friends and Skeletor and his vile band are transported to earth via a cosmic key invented by a dwarf named Gwildor. He was suppose to transport them to another planet but a glitch in the key sent them here. Apparently, the filmmakers decided to forego sending them to that other planet and sent them to California so they wouldn't have to spend money on a new set design.Two American kids find the key and mistake it for something Japanese. They end up helping He-Man defeat Skeletor. What did you expect, a truly original movie where the heroes take that key and go off to new worlds and find wonderous new civilizations and get in adventures with them and then come back and open up mankind to the wonders of interstellar travel and advancing technology? This stuff costs money y'know!