I had my hopes up that this would be so bad that it's good - but it isn't. It's just a stupid awful film. I watched and listened to the film while cleaning the house. I had more fun cleaning up dishes, cleaning out the cat box, plus sweeping and mopping the floors than I did with this movie (if you can call it that). The one thing about the film is it bored me enough to go ahead and do what I needed to do in the house.I really have to take out the trash in a bit and I would throw this film in the garbage but it came in a 50-Pack so there are other films on the same disc. That means I'm keeping the film but it will go in my profile folder list labeled "My Garbage Collection".1/10

I'm not sure what I thought I would enjoy about this obviously cheap, amateurish Italian-b movie. I think maybe I have a bit of fondness for jungle adventure. Give me a few scenes of trekking through the brush, and I can place myself in the action. What made this movie slightly more fun than so many other low budget disasters is the mixture of so many disparate and nearly random elements.The movie starts off by establishing the main character, Burt, as a former mercenary who was betrayed during a payroll robbery. He is still looking for the man who left him for dead when the action picks up elsewhere in Africa. He agrees to go along with a wealthy family on a hunting trip that eventually turns into a kidnapping. A young, pretty girl is needed for mind control experiments, which happens to be run by Albert, the man who shot Burt in the opening scene. Albert already has been able to control gorillas with his device, and uses as security to guard his jungle laboratory. Burt gains an advantage, however, when he befriends Eva, a native jungle woman. Together they must rescue the lovely Diana and put an end to Albert's jungle terror.It's all looks pretty silly nowadays, but I thought it was a bit of fun that didn't drag too much. I had to fast forward through some of the obvious sequences, but there was also some action that kept my attention. I think there must be a void nowadays in the adventure genre, because I was a little to eager to like King of Kong Island. Perhaps the time is right for filmmakers to give us new stories with imaginative plots and exotic locations with daring heroes and heroines.

We now go to East Africa, where life is cheap but clearly ape suits are expensive. And by Africa we mean a studio back-lot somewhere in Italy that doubles for the "island" in King Of Kong Island.I must have denghi fever and it's my insane imaginings that jungle B-films were the property of the 1930s and 40s: what could be described as "Apesploitation", or the "Monkeys Going Bananas" genre. And yet in the 1960s, with Planet Of The Apes one of the most popular films of the year ("You dirty rotten stinking apes!") we have Night Of The Bloody Apes (1968) from Mexico, soon followed by the Italian sexploitation film Queen Kong (1976), and Hong Kong's Goliathon/Mighty Peking Man (1977). It may be man's endless fascination with our lesser-evolved simian twins, or we just can't help but get a cheap laugh out of a guy in a monkey suit.King Of Kong Island opens with a dastardly scientist Dr Muller using stolen goods to fund his surgical experiments on gorillas. Now, seriously, "gorilla"? Even I own a better monkey suit than this. Cut to a hunting expedition led by Burt (Brad Harris, the American actor who played everyone from Samson to Goliath and Hercules) who is ambushed by not one but TWO "gorillas", complete with surgical scars, who kidnap Diana, the most attractive of the group. Despite his previous mission's complete and abject failure, Burt is charged with bringing Diana back, past miles of stock footage - although to be truthful the producers did find a parrot and a cockatoo and a few pink flamingos for a shirtless Burt, who at times resembles a shaved ape himself, to chase around a studio lagoon.In an amalgam of every thirty-year old jungle cliché, Burt comes across some spooked natives in awe of the Sacred Monkey God, a helpful chimp and a jungle girl called Eva, who can't utter a word of English but speaks fluent monk-ese, which leads Burt to look her square in the eye and ask, "Are you the Sacred Monkey?" Unbelievable. The hunt ends at Dr Muller's underground dungeon-cum-laboratory in the middle of the jungle where the insane megalomaniac - and the King of the title - has turned the apes into radio-controlled zombies, manipulated by an enormous Electronic Brain.The film was picked up by American producer Dick Randall, an old-fashioned expert in hullabaloo who was as colorful as the characters in his own Z-grade pickups. Born in the US but based mainly in Rome, Randall was the guy who filmed Jayne Mansfield's grieving family a week after her death and immediately edited the footage into his 1968 mondo film The Wild World Of Jayne Mansfield. He also sold the Filipino midget James Bond spoof For Your Height Only (1981) to the world and turned the two foot nine star Weng Weng into an unlikely international superstar. He could sell a chainsaw massacre to Texas with the 1982 Spanish slasher film Pieces, and could sell a turkey-baster to Foghorn Leghorn in the same breath as he sold this turkey. Did I say "turkey"? I meant "gorilla", and as honorary Great White Hunters we should approach this film with the right spirit, whose concepts are as absurd as the very idea of white colonialism itself.

Kong Island, or Eva the Wild Woman is a little difficult to rate. From the point of view of campy b-movie fun, it's goofy and good, but basically, the film isn't really good. It does make more of an effort than a lot of similar films, and is, at times, actually interesting.Burt (Brad Harris) is double-crossed by Albert (Marc Lawrence, who gives a career-low performance) after a payroll heist in Africa (not an island). After an undisclosed time, Burt returns to Africa to reap revenge. But, as it turns out, Albert is waiting for him, with a small army of remote controlled gorillas. Add a few subplots and season with a generally attractive cast then half-bake for a few hours.Let's start with the worst aspects: With the exception of Esmeralda Barros and Mark Farran, the acting is abominable. Of course, the script didn't give any of the actors much to work with, and Ms. Barros (Eva AKA the Sacred Monkey) has a non-speaking role). Brad Harris is ripped, that's about all. I am sure he could have carried the production equipment, but he didn't carry the film. Marc Lawrence has done some interesting work, but his performance here is remarkably bad.The gorilla costumes are hilarious, and the actors in them are not particularly good at aping apes. The stock footage of African animals is not very well integrated into the action (especially the animals that are obviously living in captivity).And now, the OK: The story line is a bit better thought out than most b-grade mad scientist movies, and some of the characters actually seem to have personalities (though not necessarily consistent ones).The directing is OK. There are some pacing problems - with a few lengthy and unnecessary scenes of people walking through the jungle and safari trucks driving about. The camera work and editing are both pretty good, but there are a couple of rather glaring errors.And the good: I liked Esmeralda Barros' character, and felt that she should have been introduced into the film earlier than she was.Generally, the film keeps moving, and, with the exception of the ridiculous Brad Harris swimming scene (which happens just after one of his companions is murdered - always take a dip immediately after watching somebody get eviscerated, that's what I say), stays focused on the main story.Ursula Davis has very nice eyes.Campy B movie buffs WILL LIKE THIS. Can't recommend it for anybody else.