J-Men Forever is the epic tale of the Secret World War waged by the J-men against their alien nemesis, the Lightning Bug. Armed with trance inducing rock music and a nebula of hash smoke, the Lightning bug seeks to change the world's lifestyle before our very eyes.The J-Men field a constellation of our nation's greatest heroes. Under the inspired leadership of Admiral Ballsey they struggle to thwart this menace.The film features some fine stunt and model work.It's a real power hit of entertainment. If you ever get an all too rare chance to view J-men, and you're not Mrs Grundy, grab it.(It's so good i have to ration viewings for fear of wearing out the tape!)

I know `J-Men Forever' was at one time available on video back in the mid-80's because I remember seeing it for rent in a video store. (The video store has long since gone out of business.)The movie is a hoot. It is one of my fond memories of my early 30's. Sadly, now that the hipsters of the '70's have turned into their parents, a movie like `J-Men Forever' is probably now lost forever. You can bet your bottom dollar you won't see it on the USA cable network, or any other conglomerate-owned media outlet. Not that it's the least bit risqué, but it sends out the `wrong message' in our now more conservative times, if you know what I mean. It is all really unfortunate.

To say this movie is a laugh-riot is an understatement. Phil Proctor and Peter Bergman of Firesign Theater fame re-cut many of the Saturday afternoon movie serials and government propaganda films from the 1940's and 50's such as Captain America (The Lone Star), Radar Men from the Moon (Rocket Jock - look for Leonard Nimoy), Flash Gordon, Shazzam (The Caped Madman), and Spy Smasher (Spy-Swatter) to name a few (plus a very short clip of John Wayne from Flying Tigers) and re-voiced, and re-scored it all creating a uniquely absurd chronicle of Good vs. Evil.During the course the film Proctor and Bergman, shot in black and white in the J-Men's office, bridge the various scenes. The result is without hyperbole, one of the funniest films ever made. It is essentially, line after line, line within line, moment by moment non-stop hilarity. Often the comedy is in the writing but the real magic is how the lines being spoken or in some cases not spoken are meshed with what's on screen. The humor can be as sophmoric as a person being apparently executed by a firing squad and noisily farting as he collapses to sharp and witty as several obviously square, stone-faced individuals (in matching suits) nervously glancing at each other as they listen to a particularly lurid Rock n' Roll song.This is the story: The Lightning Bug (all the bad guys from the movie serials-same guy, different costumes voiced wonderfully by Machine Gun Kelly) has decided to conquer the Earth from his hideout on the Moon thru the insidious power of Rock n' Roll music. Facing the Bug are the J-Men (all the good guys and gals from the movie serials plus Proctor and Bergman) who counter the evil Rock n' Roll menace with their own brand of government sponsored MUSAC such as "Mister Prissy-Faye & His Orchestra." The Bug initiates the war by blowing up Laurence Milk's warehouse full of square records in Polkawaltz, New Jersey. As the story progresses and the war escalates, the Bug introduces drugs (Marijuana and Hashish) into the fray thus bringing the J-Men to ultimately counter with all out war and destruction. The Lightning Bug responds by turning up the music to unsafe levels which results in the destruction the Moon and himself. The J-Men, most of whom were apparently killed in cliffhangar-like fashions throughout the course of the movie, are discovered to actually be alive. With the war won, Proctor and Bergman of the J-Men decide to "Go with it!" and share a joint.This is one of those films where just watching it once will not be enough. There are so many jokes, quips, and asides thrown in one after another, and you will be laughing at it all so hard, you will miss some of them until you view it again...and later again.

I first saw this gem on the USA network about 15 years ago. Although I haven't seen it since I still remember it. I never laughed so hard in my life. It uses the "Fractured Flickers" concept of redubbing over old films. And the Firesign Theatre does it with masterfull effect. Unfortunately it is not available on video or DVD, which to me is incomprehensible.