This movie makes me pee with laughter! I am not even kidding. If you are totally into really bad funny horror movies, this one takes the cake. There are a lot of bad ones out there that are not funny, but this one (along with troll 2) is amazing. The acting, the screams, the ice queens moves are hysterical. The acting - they are just all play there part so bad. I think tori is the worst Ice queen gyrates and jerks around so much she looks like she's having seizures I watch about once a year and it gets me every time. I am telling you as soon as i turned on the DVD and valley by gregory douglas came on, I knew it was going to be a really bad movie.

A resort is destroyed by an avalanche caused by a downed air craft carrying a female creature from the Ice Age(..hence her official title)who destroyed the pilot while a scientist miraculously survives. The crew, in charge of the resort, are pursued by the she-beast who can freeze humans from the inside out burying her hand into the bellies of the victims. The scientist wishes to keep her from harm but the Ice Queen can not be contained.Cheap sets, poor CGI, lame characters, and tepid performances in this worthless creature feature. There's some moderate gore and lame love triangle sub-plot that goes nowhere. Ami Chorlton is buried under hideous make-up, sharp finger nails and fangs, green skin with yellow eye contacts.Harmon Walsh is Johnny, who works under drill sergeant Audrey(..she pretty much orders him around like one, although the hapless guy doesn't do himself any favors)exploding snow which collects on hills. His pals Devlin and Jessie(Peter Wyndorf and Demone Gore)are his co-workers(..which means, they are mincemeat for Ice Queen). As Audrey, Walden is stuck with seriously bogus wise-cracks which are groan-inducing, particularly when she challenges Ice Queen to combat. Daniel Hall Kuhn is the scientist who gets all excited and enthusiastic when discussing his specimen..he's the kind of tool who attempts to thwart our heroes' mission to kill the bitch, and save themselves. Johnny is currently dating Tori(Noelle Reno), a member of the resort staff. Johnny was making out with a big-breasted bimbo, Elaine(Jennifer Hill), not realizing that she would be interviewing for a job at the resort. These complications soon mean little as they focus on ridding themselves of Ice Queen and finding help. John Romeo is rotund Ed, the bartender of the resort's bar. Ed is a reformed alcoholic who fights off the urge to chug-a-lug seeing that the resort is in shambles and the small number of guests / vehicles were buried under snow.I don't know what was up with Chorlton's stride as she seeks fresh victims, but she has a nice figure, even under that costume and grotesque mask. The avalanche and initial destruction it causes is obvious, dismal CGI. Hill's big jugs and excruciating acting might be worth sitting through this disaster, but I doubt it.

The reason I rented this video was because the cover seemed scary enough to me, a hideous woman, who somehow reminded me of Lordi's keyboard player, awakes from the ice and goes on a rampage. The movie started out nice though, since me and my friend have a little gag going around that there are three things that a good movie needs: a helicopter, breast and a midget (preferably one that gets kicked away, or kicks himself in the head). The first scene of the movie contained a helicopter, the second one contained Jennifer Hill in a wet t-shirt, and the fourth scene contained Jennifer putting it all out. Heck, I was honestly thinking this could be a good movie, and was the edge of my seat awaiting the midget.After this, things went bad quickly. The Ice Queen looked pretty ugly, I'll give you that, but the horrible nonsense that she is put me off from the beginning. We are being told that she is a Homo Erectus, which still seems plausible. Now, it could be because I'm a High School teacher of History, and I might be more critical about historical incorrectness than others, but I do believe more people will hear their skin crawling when they claim the Homo Erectus (which only lived in Africa by the way) has a body temperature of -30°. I don't know if that's Celsius or Fahrenheit, but anyhow, it would mean that our ancestors had ice for blood. One could overlook that silly comment of the professor, but then he tells me that the Homo Erectus had the unseen power of being able to slash open its opponent, and freeze them from the inside out. When I heard this, I nearly fell from my chair, the idiocy and unrealism really are going over the top in this movie. Why does the Ice Queen need this type of power? She could just slash her opponents with her huge claws, and still be scary. Seeing how I'm a history teacher, I've had my fair share of 13 year old boys laughing about the name Homo Erectus like Beavis and Butthead, but those little pervs at least had a better idea of what the Homo Erectus was than the makers of this movie.If this was all the silliness in the movie, one wouldn't mind so much, but the madness goes on. Not only did our ancestors have freezing powers, for some reason they have heat vision, which can be compared to the way "The Predator" looks at this world. At a certain point in the movie, she sees main character Johnny (Harmon Walsh) standing, and somehow his body turned colder than the walls, which seem to be on fire right now. This makes our Ice Queen fall in love with him, and I can tell you that this is the point of the movie, where you just stop trying to see it as a horror movie, and just accept the rest of the movie will be a comedy. Seeing the vicious Ice Queen biting on her 5 inch nail/claw as if she were a porn diva acting out a naughty 16 year old school girl just has to make you break out in laughter.Now, on to the character of the Ice Queen, the only character that is not flat out cheesy, dumb or annoying. Some say they dislike the scream she makes, I liked that aspect of her. You could see she still was a beast and somehow it gave me the feeling she was afraid. That's one of the only good things done in this movie, somehow, you feel bad for the Ice Queen. She's not pure evil, she's just a creature put into an unfamiliar environment that is panic stricken, kinda the same thing as Cloverfield probably was.********************* SPOILER - END OF THE MOVIE *********************Now, I have to tell you about the end of the movie too. I was only finishing the movie since I wanted to see if the end was as ridiculous as the rest, and boy it was. Never have I seen such a stupid ending in a horror movie, and remember, Freddy Kreuger was killed initially because somebody didn't believe in him, while he was standing right in front of her. Now, the Ice Queen seems almost "get lucky with Johnny", but then he pulls her into the hot tub and she melts, and turns into a cheap plastic eyeball. Really, in this day and age, you should be able to make something better than that final prosthetic. When Jennifer Hill's rack isn't the most obvious fake prosthetic in your movie, something is plain wrong.All in all, this movie is one of the most horrible horror movies ever made, but I gave it three stars, because the last 20-30 minutes were just so plain ridiculous that they made me laugh, and that means the movie entertained me, although not intentional.

OMG!!! "Ice Queen" lol. I absolutely love how bad this movie is. The performances are awful, the story is played out, and the special effects are really cheesy. But I have to admit that I enjoyed this movie's terribleness! I totally think they should remake this with Carmen Electra as the Ice Queen, Adam Brody as the male lead, and Tara Reid as the hot dumb blonde. How awesome would that be? That could definitely be a serious Razzie contender. Oh, and they can get Uwe Boll to direct! He'd be great at making it even worse! I can see it now...UWE BOLL presents "THE ICE QUEEN" starring Carmen Electra, Adam Brody, & Tara Reid lol