Not all of the older movies were great. Indeed, the nazi party was in full swing in making propaganda movies, usually in science fiction, and didn't have to bother to be even a tiny bit subtle.Director Bottger waves his swastika as predictably as any one. With the vehicle being an airplane crash on a remote island with a giant spider, he contrives an entire story to show that brunette women must die and blonde women alone must survive. There just isn't any more to the story. It's the ultimate chick flick, with gorgeous brunettes biting the dust, but obviously the most depressing thing in the world for a straight guy. Brunettes are what guys want, and blonds are what women want guys to want.So the Hitler worshipers like Bottger had more than one target audience, but if you aren't a swastika waver, or a woman jealous of brunettes, there's just absolutely nothing else in this tripe. Absolutely nothing. And that isn't a spoiler, because it is very obvious from the start that this is going to be another nazi propaganda movie.

For those of you who think that Peter Parker's superpowers are what happens with a spider's bite than you best look at what happens to Alex D'Arcy in Body In The Web. Because I sure can only think of one other reason to see this film and that might not be enough.D'Arcy is putting together a troupe of dancers and it's him and this troupe of about ten beauties who crash in the sea on the way to Singapore and get stranded on a tropical island. Which happens to be rich in uranium and some spiders got into that uranium which has produced spiders the size of table tops. And when they bite you don't get the powers of Spiderman.This is a German production dubbed in English for American release and better had it been kept in Das Reich. Even the sight of all those bathing beauty types in various stages of undress is not enough reason to inflict this on yourself.

An all female dance troupe and their manager Gary (Alexander D'Arcy) are en route to Singapore when their plane catches fire and ditches into the sea. Somehow, Gary and a handful of his dancers survive the disaster and, after several days adrift in an inflatable raft, chance upon a remote tropical island that is home to a monstrous spider whose bite causes terrible mutations.Horrors of Spider Island started life as a German adults-only feature, but was subsequently trimmed of most of its nude scenes and turned into a cheesy horror flick for the US market, all of which goes to explain why the film seems more concerned with titillating its viewers than terrifying them.The opening scene sees Gary auditioning a series of sexy 60s babes who flaunt their generous curves, show off their long legs (clad in sussies and stockings, of course) and even strip down to their their underwear in an effort to secure a job; once the action moves to the island and the girls adopt tropical attire, barely a minute goes by without a glimpse of bare thigh, a flash of cleavage, a tempting expanse of mid-riff, or the sight of a shapely rear; and when two men arrive on the island ready to party, the wanton women are only too happy to oblige. This smörgåsbord of cheesecake and smut is accompanied by a wonderful jazz soundtrack that wouldn't seem out of place in a seedy 60s go-go strip joint, and which helps to propel the film into the uppermost reaches of the trashosphere.As far as the horror is concerned, all we get is the giant spider—a very peculiar looking creature with alien-like eyes and what look like teeny hands at the end of its legs—and one mutated bite victim, who grows fangs, facial hair and an impressive set of claws with which to terrorise the women.On top of all of the eye-candy and lacklustre horror, viewers are also treated to dreadful dubbing, terrible acting, amateurish direction, some poorly choreographed brawls (including the obligatory cat-fight), and plenty of unintentional laughs (try keeping a straight face at the dancers' reactions when the plane is about to crash, or Gary's inexplicable knowledge of Uraniam mining equipment), all of which go to make this one seriously bad movie that no self-respecting fan of kitsch Z-grade garbage should miss.

This movie's idea is one for a regular porno movie; which, of course, you won't get here.HORRORS OF SPIDER ISLAND gets a nice sexy start, with a group of hot young women who seem intent on going to Singapore—as dancers: the blonde May, Rhonda, Babs with the golden legs—beautiful women in peril—which kind of comes directly from the pulps of weird menace and foretells a genre masterpiece like SLAVE OF THE CANNIBAL GOD (yeah, the script even has the uranium searchers).Getting lost with these young dancers on an island makes one happier than the Bounty mutineers. An exciting is conventional script is though spoiled by sheer incompetence, and also a cast of cute babes is thus wasted; the whole flick is blunt, badly made, it lacks the necessary sharpness and gusto, though I kind of enjoyed it.The last third of the movie is underachieved porn.'A real man is interested in only one girl.'