THE FOLLOWING REVIEW IS A JOKE. THIS FILM DESERVES A 10/10 FOR HOW ENTERTAINING IT IS, BUT IT IS A VERY MISGUIDED, AND DISAPPOINTING FILM. Halloween Obsession is the greatest horror- and film- of all time. The story is gripping, emotional, and beautifully written. The dialogue is effortlessly amazing, making Kevin Smith look awful. The shock ending is better than that of a Kevin Williamson or M. Night Shyamalan film. The monologue about prayers from Dr. Wallace singlehandedly made me quit my job, join a seminary, and devote my life to becoming a Roman Catholic Priest. The scene with the bullies made me sob my eyes out, sending me into a deep depression due to its realism. The gore and special effects are so lifelike, I had to turn away, for I felt as if I was watching real lives being taken away. Finally, I must mention the character Don Marucci, played by 19-time Oscar nominee, Lenny Campobello. The mere sight of this man made me instantaneously orgasm, soiling my pants, and sweat profusely. Against my will, I reached for baby oil to lubricate my nipples. The man's gaze is that strong. Lenny Campobello is the man that made me abandon my wife and family, destroying their only source of income, to become an active member in the homosexual community. As stated above, the bullying scene in this film pushed me into a deep depression. I couldn't handle the pain, and attempted suicide. I decided to play the film as a final sendoff. I tightened the noose around my neck, and kicked away the chair. But there...on the screen...Lenny Campobello. As he uttered the most iconic film in cinematic history, "It's not pink! It's salmon!", I instantly snapped the noose with my bare hands, saving my life. He makes my life worth living. This film is my love, my life, my everything. Whenever I'm sad, alone, or beaten up, I can always turn to the greatest object in the galaxy, universe, and multiverse...Ron Paglio, Jr's "Halloween: Obsession."

While I was generally underwhelmed by special effects, plot, dialogue, and general quality of the movie in nearly all aspects, one particular thing had stood out to separate this film from all others. LENNY CAMPOBELLO! He is, by far, the greatest actor to ever walk the face of this planet. He saves this movie. He makes the audience feel. HE IS A LEGEND. Furthermore, this review platform requires that I fill ten lines, yet there is little else to say about this movie. I mean, its pretty bad aside from Lenny...but he's just that good. I should hope all reading this will join in my noble quest to bring Lenny up to the actor ranking that he deserves. He's rated 2 million right now, but we all know he should at least be in the top 50. LENNY FANS UNITE!

I will honestly say that I really enjoyed the movie. For a slasher movie, the movie was surprisingly good. It was much better than what I expected from a Halloween fan made tribute movie. The special and gory make-up effects were also well done and not overdone, so the movie wasn't just about a bunch of people getting killed and a gore-fest, but also had a good story. To be honest, I didn't recognize a lot of the actors, but the actors in the movie were very believable and in my opinion, the movie was very well acted. Also, the story kept flowing and was interesting and was intense enough that there were no dull moments. The twist in the movie was also a total surprise to me, but I really enjoyed it and it made the ending make more sense.