Green River
Green River
| 08 May 2008 (USA)
Green River Trailers

There is no turning back. Whether we trust our friends, others or ourselves our decision determines the fate of the future. Green River's story deals with the agonizing truth of the actions we take in times of crisis.

Reviews
Leaf

The most boring movie I've ever half watched. This is so bad I've created an IMDb profile just to review this and try to save anyone else the agony of attempting to sit through this piece of bile. This is cliché after cliché: city chicks going to hicksville, staying in an out of the way cabin, no phone reception, car trouble, stormy night, ooooooo, scary. Even more boring are the pointless scenes included: the near miss car accident at the beginning has no point. The near miss hiking accident - Charisma (really?) falls and hanging on by the tips of her fingers. Alison too scared to move and help her. Back to Charisma; "Alison, help". Back to the scared Alison cowering against the cliff. Charisma is just about to lose grip when Alison pounces and pulls her up. If only she let her fall so the movie would end.Because there is no substance to this movie, many of the scenes are drawn out. We get four different shots of the clouds moving over the mountains to show us it has gone from day to night and a storm has rolled in. We don't really need a dozen shots of the cabin, the car, the whiny girl sleeping with lightning cracking to make it scary. And for what? All this to give a reason for the car alarm to go off and the battery to go dead. They had already established the battery was playing up so this was a big concoction for nothing. When the car won't start, we get a shot of the hood of the car which slowly, no - painfully slowly, moves around to show one of the girls looking under the hood. Great time wasting. The scene where the "scary" bloke makes a cup of tea. It's all close ups of the kettle boiling, pouring the tea, putting on a shirt, walking out the door. All while not showing who is making the tea. Who could it be? (Don't worry, they show him standing on his porch in the next shot) What the hell is that all about? It's not arty. It is a time killer because this movie has nothing else to do. Why these two girl would go on holiday together is the only mystery of this movie. Charisma is so devoid of any personality one would wonder why she is friends with the psycho pill popping Alison, if one cared one iota about either character. Alison is popping pills every time she has to deal with anything - apparently going into a petrol station and buying water is so scary she needs to pop a pill. She pops another 5 minutes later while driving and arguing with Charisma. Actually, every conversation these two have is an argument or disagreement. Why are they spending a week in the woods together? Oh that's right. I don't care. This is the most mind-numbingly boring, pointless and unoriginal movie I've ever seen. Well half seen. I turned it off when the girls stole scary man's truck and drove down the bush tracks to get to safety (I assume) but scary man was able to catch up to them by running through the bush. They ran into him, then crashed the truck and instead of following the track out to the road and running to safety they decide to go back and see if the man is alright. Please!

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filmchaser

To the two reviewers who wrote positive reviews about this film: You're kidding, right? This has to be the worst movie I've ever seen. I was bored on the ride to the woods. These two actresses were so unconvincing as friends, that I found myself wondering why Charisma (surely this name deserved at least an explanation) and Allison (neurotic, unattractive, annoying, and a really bad actress inspired a new word: "bactress") would even be friends, much less travel into the woods together for what? a vacation? We are never told. No character development, no back story, no story whatsoever, and a predictable plot that has been done to DEATH: what was this director thinking? Low budget was not the problem here. The setting was the most interesting part of the movie. I can't remember when I've seen worst acting. I actually laughed out loud at "Allison's" attempts to act, and that actress had way too much screen time. I was hoping Jack would kill her to relieve my suffering. She was too annoying to be psychotic, and considering that Jack had been hit by a pick up truck, shot, stabbed, smacked around, and deprived of food and water for an entire day...I laughed some more at the ending because it's supposed to be what...eerie? shocking? ironic? surprising? NO, it was NONE OF THOSE because it was HORRIFYINGLY DEVOID of explanation, so much so that it was just confusing and further evidence of bad writing. There was so much opportunity to make a good thriller here, and it appears to be made by someone who didn't even care, someone with A.D.D., or someone who has never done this before. And car alarms don't run down batteries because they shut off after 10 minutes or so, OR, an owner can turn the alarm off with a remote switch from 15 ft. away. Come ON. And "Charisma" is not getting off the hook either. "Wanna take a shortcut? It's not as intimidating as it looks." One second later, she's fallen, and is hanging on by her fingernails begging her "friend" Allison to help her. Did the director look through the lens at that scene and say, "Cut. God job ladies. SO suspenseful. So...scary." I would have smacked Allison around and asked her, "What took you so long, b*tch?" And what kind of numb skull would you have to be to climb all the way to the top of a hill after an arduous hike through the woods only to burn up what's left of the cell phone battery listening to somebody's mother explaining how psychotic and dangerous her daughter is. Wouldn't it make more sense to say:"HEY, call 911 and send them to XYZ location NOW." So I'd say the writing was bad, the acting was very bad, and the directing was very, very bad. I'm so appalled that somebody would waste $5 making this film, that I can't write enough to tell anyone who's wondering: DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME ON THIS DRIVEL. You'll just be mad at yourself later. And to those of you who made this movie: don't give up those day jobs just yet because I watched every minute of your film, and I still don't know if Jack had anything to do with the disappearances of one, much less all, those girls on posters. That's too many women posted in a public place to escape notoriety...so, why would 2 young women see that, know that, and then go deep into the woods in that very same area where one of them lost a sister years earlier? Dumb.

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pymex

I opened my account at IMDb just to be able to post that this movie is the worst "shirt" ever made. Most of you must be aware Im using the word "shirt" to avoid censorship. Just remove the extra "r" PLEASE Don't WATCH THIS MOVIE...unless you want to torture yourself and spend part of you life when you could have been doing something else, like sleep or take a bath or have a picture of you own ass and watch it instead of this movie... anything else is more productive that watching this piece of "shirt". The worst thing is that i rented the movie and forgot to return it on date, and now have to pay Blockbuster a fine... Now I realized i have to write at least ten lines for the review, so I must say that Every single copy of this movie should be collected and burned for the sake of humanity. The director should have keep doing electrical works instead of trying to make movies. I must have a big sin to pay, thats why I choose this movie. Now Im paying all my debts with God. Please forgive all my bad actions, but don't ever let me watch this kind of movie again. Many years ago I watched "The Mosquito Coast" I thought it was a bad movie... how wrong I was,,, didn't knew that human minds can produce things like Green River..human can always get worse.thanks

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nate-155

Okay, this pile of garbage has to be the worst thing I've ever seen, and I've seen some bad movies. The plot includes story lines that go nowhere, including the ghost voices in the woods... what was that all about?? And why did the annoying brunette go crazy? The brunette was by far the worst actor I've ever seen. Lines like "what's the matter Jackie boy, truth hurt" combined with bad delivery are the only things in this movie that actually made me cringe. I've seen better acting in high school. And to the two earlier posters who said this movie was amazing, I hope you didn't spend too much money producing this film, it sucks! Destroy this movie so no one else will waste an hour and a half of their life.

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