Once upon a time, before you could obtain beautifully remastered prints of Shaw Brothers classics on DVD for just a few bucks, wretched films like "Goose Boxer" served a purpose. In their oversized clamshell cases, they sat undisturbed on a dusty shelf in your local mom-and-pop video rental store, and when you were jonesing for a little kung fu action you took your chances with them. Most were thoroughly mediocre. Once in a while you stumbled across an exceptionally good film (like "Bandits, Prostitutes and Silver") or, if the universe wanted to screw up your weekend, a bonafide dumpster fire like this one. Poor production values, ridiculous dubbing, slapstick comedy that makes the most ludicrous performances of the Three Stooges look sophisticated in comparison: that's why these ninety minutes feel like a lifetime. There's some fairly decent choreography amidst all this nonsense, but time and time again it's subordinated to the comedy (even at the end, which is the one moment in any martial arts movie when the viewer can reasonably expect to see a good fight, no matter how awful the rest of the film has been). To give you an idea of what you're in for, Charles Heung gets a face full of goose dung in the opening credits; as the film concludes, he dispatches villain Li Hai-sheng with the assistance of a midget who was defecating in the woods a few minutes earlier. Lots of lulz if you're in grade school, perhaps...but, if not, "Goose Boxer" is a dismal waste of time and money.

Shaolin martial arts is noted for copying animal styles of combat. Thanks to kung fu movies pretty much every animal in the world has been made into a kung fu style. Here we have, obviously, the common goose. Anyone who has spent time with real geese knows they are nasty, territorial, attack unprovoked, and cover the ground they walk in the stinkiest and slimiest of droppings. Charles Heung has become a goose boxer because his business was selling roast goose but refusing to service a horny old lady (Chan Lap-Ban who acted in an amazing total of 411 movies from 1949 to 1990 thereby proving you can be ugly and in a lot of movies too) has sent him on the road to adventure. Tin Ching drops into the story unexpectedly. He starred in one of the earliest martial arts comedies that was actually funny, "Mad Mad Mad Sword." He fights Cheung Sin-Ming who had a "short" career (get it – short?) topped off in 1983's "Winners and Sinners". Tin Ching's business plan for his kung fu school is worse than his kung fu. He joins with Charles to try to get more students. Lee Hoi Sang, Philip Ko Fei, and Charles Hung top the bill of this kung fu comedy. The names alone guarantee the action is real solid and there is enough of a plot to tie it together coherently. The copy was English dubbed and the voice overs can sometimes ruin the entire movie. No problem with that here, they are bad but not bad enough to pull down the whole movie. The movie has the all the expected standards: the villains are over the top, the heroes are learning weird new styles and have training sequences, the fights are good and plenty, and the good guys are likable. For kung fu movie fans only of course, who else would be reading this? I give it an above average 7 rating.

As a whole, this was a pretty horrible movie. Unless you are a huge martial arts movie fan, this is def not for you. I on the other hand found the movie quite funny. The voice overs are classicly horrible and def worth buying on dvd for 10 bucks for the laugh. My version came with another movie, Tiger Over Wall, which i am still yet to watch. So in a nutshell, if you like funny and bad kung-fu movies, this is the flick for you.ps. There is a nice suprise in the opening scene in the movie, and the ending may be the funniest ive seen in a kung-fu flick.

I don't remember too much about this movie, other than the fact that there's an absurd goose-style kung-fu, and a really strange scene with a midget demanding that he wants to go .. ahem.. potty in the forest. I wish I could find a copy of this, it has been a few years!