While a few of the songs are actually good, otherwise this is a 100% horrible film--embarrassing to watch and of great value to bad movie buffs. I think the plot really says all I need to say about it. Intergalactic weirdos (including ladies wearing bug-like antennae) have a meeting to discuss problems on Earth. It seems that an island of rockers and an island of balladeers hate each other and are fighting a never-ending battle through rock concerts! As for the rock, it's mostly third-rate, though there is a great number involving JUST a large group of drummers (lead by the famous Ginger Baker of Cream). As for the ballads, they all are whiny drivel. So, to fix things, agent Wilco Roger is sent to the islands with his magic powers and insipid cuteness. When a rocker falls for a balladeer, you realize this is a sick and twisted reworking of Romeo & Juliet! Too bad, like the original source material, they didn't just kill themselves--now THAT would have been cool! Aside from the insane plot and mostly bad music, you have tons of garish costumes and sets (where the color yellow dominates) and rotten acting...rotten. In fact, there's nothing about the story that is good in any way--and is reminiscent of "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians".

This is a totally weird 60s rock-n-roll musical send-up of Romeo and Juliet centering on two squabbling islands: Beatland and Ballad Isle. Intergalactic ambassador Wilco Roger is summoned to resolve the differences between the communities, employing the tactic of uniting a Beatland boy and a Ballad Isle girl; if he is unsuccessful he faces exile to Planet Gonk (inhabited by some strange doll-like creatures that apparently were based on a popular toy of the time). Despite the presence of Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Graham Bond and Lulu, the music here is nothing special. The music by the Beatlanders is typical of mid 60s rock rave-ups (watch for the lead singer/guitarist for The Long and the Short doing his best "Enzyte Bob" impression during their number "Love is a Funny Thing"!) , while the music favored by Ballad Isle consists of some of the sappiest ballads imaginable (the best way I could describe them would be to imagine the late 50s light pop group The Fleetwoods on Prozac). We're also treated to musical sequences featuring a band playing instrumental rock while driving down a deserted airstrip and a nine drummer prison jam session (neither of which serve much purpose other than padding the movie's run time) and a wacky "battle" sequence between both factions with musical instruments used as weapons. All this leads to the Golden Guitar contest pitting both islands against each other (which usually ends in a draw). Lulu's song "I'm the Only One" is pleasant but not exactly memorable, and The Nashville Teens' "Poor Boy" comes nowhere close to matching their hit "Tobacco Road". The bargain basement budget is readily apparent in the cheap set designs and the minimal special effects (watch for Wilco Roger ducking into the cloud of smoke as he makes his first entrance). If there was anything resembling a highlight here it would be the opening credits sequence featuring the Gonks grooving among construction paper/contact paper animation (to the song "Choc Ice", sung by Lulu with her voice altered almost to the point where she starts sounding like Cartman); it's pretty much all downhill after that.

A martian called Wilco Roger (KENNETH CONNOR) is sent to Earth by his people to resolve a feud between communities known as Beatland and Balladisle. The dispute is over musical differences. Beatland ("If you're with it you're in") loves beat music and rhythm and blues whilst Balladisle is into the softer sentimental ballad music. Each year the top groups from both communities take part in "The Golden Guitar Contest" thrown by the reclusive Mr A&R (FRANK THORNTON) and the winner receives the prize of a golden guitar whilst the losers have their musical instruments confiscated until eight months before the next contest. As much as the two communities despise each other, they are not above sneaking into each other's territory to steal each others musical ideas. Wilco and A&R decide to resolve the chaos before it erupts into war ("It'll mean exile to planet Gonk for me" sniffs Connor) by bringing together a boy and girl, one lives in Beatland and the other in Balladisle, who love each other but the feud is keeping them apart. Wilco and A&R use their mystical power to get them to the contest and they perform a duet which incorporates both musical styles. Mr A&R declares them the winners and orders that both communities will now live in harmony and all types of music will be allowed from now on.An unbelievably stupid attempt to combine swinging sixties pop culture with a Romeo And Juliet inspired romance. The romance is bland without an ounce of Shakespearian tragedy and the comedy falls flat. I.e "I was told that there was a famous author from Earth's past" says Wilco Roger to Mr A&R. "William Shakespeare?" he asks. "Well yes he shook something or other" Wilco replies. That's about as funny as it gets. The sets are cardboard and the tunes are poor. This is a big disappointment as some of the acts that the producers, Peter Newbrook and Robert Hartford-Davis, have assembled for the film are quite impressive. For instance, The Graham Bond Organisation, contained musicians whom were later to become rock legends in their own right such as Ginger Baker with the legendary rock trio, Cream, with Jack Bruce and Eric Clapton. Bond's sax player Dick Heckstall-Smith who can be seen here would go on to join prog rock heroes Colloseum whilst Bond himself (he died in 1974) is now considered to be an important figure of the British R&B boom of that time. They try and make the most of a lackluster number written for them especially for the film, "Harmonica". Even Lulu And The Luvvers and The Nashville Teens are at a loss here too.The story was written by the director Robert Hartford-Davis and cinematographer-producer Peter Newbrook. Both of whom did some interesting work within the British horror wave with the elegant costume horror film, The Black Torment and the Peter Cushing vehicle, Corruption. But both are at a loss here like the beat groups who allowed themselves to be drafted into this rubbish.In summary, if you are thinking of buying the DVD from your local mega store for the music alone, it isn't worth it despite the caliber of some of the musicians on offer. A big disappointment but then again there were so many pop movies made in those days and a lot of them were dire.

You have to be a real killjoy not to love this splendidly silly film, a kind of bubblegum version of Romeo and Juliet. However, the film is of some historical interest, featuring footage of the Graham Bond Organisation (urged on by a cane-wielding, mortar-board-donning Reginald Beckwith!). Musical numbers of widely varying merit are interspersed among the unfolding of a mind-bogglingly lightweight romance between a Beatland boy (sometime Joe Meek protege Ian Gregory) and a Balladisle girl, as seen from the viewpoint of a visiting alien (Kenneth Connor). Perhaps this studio-bound cheapathon was UK cinema's last unabashed quota-quickie. What a contrast with John Boorman's wintry, wistful "Catch Us If You Can" (made in the same year), and yet 60s-phobes (of whom there are regrettably many) are likely to bracket the films together as throwaway musicals!