Carly Portland is the American star of British sitcom Tetford Gate produced by her husband Allen Portland. Ratings are falling so they bring in American writer Ben Greene. With time Ben falls for and marries the shows stunning French make-up artist Fiona Delgrazia. However it is not long before the feelings Ben has for Carly start to cause his relationship with Fiona to suffer. Meanwhile, he notices that Fiona and Allen are also getting close. Thus starts several years of relationship twists and turns between the four people.I'm not entirely sure where to start with this film. On the surface it is some sort of romantic comedy but it doesn't really have much in it that makes for convincing "love" or indeed anything that I would describe as being all that funny. The end result is a film that never once engaged me and just came across as mistakenly thinking itself to be funnier and smarter than it actually was. So it moves along with dialogue that it cannot maintain and a confidence that it does not deserve to have. The fault for this must rest almost totally with writer and director Mike Binder. He has written characters that are not easy to relate to or understand or indeed even to like. The quartet of characters are poorly developed and they seem to do things for the sake of it; I'm not referring to their actions as people driven by lust (who can ever apply logic to such things) but specifically things like the fights outside pubs, which seemed to drop in from another film or be an idea that Binder had but had nobody working with him able to just say "you know what? this doesn't work").As a result the film just flops long in a series of "ideas" without any real cohesion or reason to stick with it. The cast struggle and it shows. Binder himself seems to be under the illusion that he has written a modern relationship drama that will make him this generation's Woody Allen and as an actor he comes over like he knows it. It is a weak performance and he grated on me throughout. Firth is not as bad but just seems totally unsure of who he is playing. Hemingway is OK while Jacob is sexy as a presence but poor as a narrator. Small turns from Fry, Dee, Marcus and a few other well known faces do nothing really as they lack the material to work with.Overall then a poor romantic comedy. The characters are poor and the actors cannot work with them or their dialogue as a result. The story and lives are unconvincing and there is not a spark of inspiration or wit to be had across the whole thing. I had never heard of this film before I recorded it a few weeks ago – now I understand why.

Terrible film of no value to anyone other than the London Tourist Board. Most glaring implausibilities include: mid-level media types living in £7 million+ Belgravia houses (yeah, right); old gents with monocles (monocles?!?); empty Serpentine and Hyde Park on a sunny day; exclusively white Anglo-Saxon 'picturesque' locals; eternal sunny glow to everything; picnicking in white flannel suits; etc etc. All surrounded by a strange alternative universe that owes little resemblance to the London I live in, including bizarre geography that suggests you can be in Trafalgar Square one minute and Primrose Hill the next. Don't watch it for the story, which is shallow, silly, and extremely implausible. And whatever you do, don't watch it as a preface to visiting London; your expectations will be better matched by Disneyworld - which you may however find to be more gritty and naturalistic.

This movie is just crap! It's pointless, it isn't funny.I just finished watching and write this in very fresh memory of this disappointing experience. Not even Colin Firth manages to rescue some part of it. And since I'm a complete Firth-Lunatic, that's a weighty conclusion.I can't even finally decide which movie is worse: The Playmaker or Londinium. Playmaker had at least the comfort of some very hot scenes under the shower which saved some of it. But this movie lacks any comfort of any kind.And since in Germany you can only get it dubbed you cannot even listen to his beautiful voice but get this silly boyish dubbing voice. The only slightly amusing scenes are those where Fiona and Allen try to solve their problems by consulting a therapist (Stephen Fry).Well, actually it had some unintentional irony in it when Ben sees his play ruined by Carly (with the dying scene which was just illogic and silly). It was like "art imitating art" if this comparison might be allowed.. Though "art" might not be the right word for it.....This movie is an utterly useless and completely unsuccessful attempt to do a Woody Allen Movie without the spirit, the wit and the timing of Woody Allen.Over and over again I was just asking myself "WHAT??? You can't possibly be serious!!!"Could anyone just explain to me PLEASE why those sudden outbreaks of hooliganism by Allen beating up everybody everytime outside the pub without any reason and doing innocent small talk during and after the act are supposed to be funny????That's not even weird, it's just stupid, silly, idiotic.....Dear Fellow-Firthies, I know we all want to know every movie of ODB but I sincerely recommend to leave it to the very last, when there is no other Firth-movie left to watch (which I pray will never be!).If curiosity overcomes you and you have to watch it before nevertheless be prepared and do have some good ODB-moments at hand to soothe the stale aftertaste....

Londinium is full of quips and sarcasm. Though there is something unreasonable about the plotline, such as the protagonists' unstable financial condition vs. good purchasing power, the movie does a great job of jabbing at humans' desire and reticular relationships, and at the same time, uncovering the truth about love and marriage. Londinium makes the best of the features of a superb romantic comedy!