Q: Who has two thumbs extended upward after watching "Dinosaur Island" on Netflix? A: The re-animated zombie corpse of Roger Ebert. Oh, and me, though that would make it four thumbs, not two.You know that you're in the heart of Cheese-and-Sleaze Land when a movie begins with a closeup of a wild-eyed, wild-haired jungle beast of a woman screaming like a banshee at the camera while wearing little more than thongs and a thong, bare-breasted except for body paint in a color bearing a surprising resemblance to Boise State Bronco Blue. Any hope you may have for this film's potential to elevate and celebrate life vanishes a moment later, when the camera cuts away to two parallel lines of scantily clad women brandishing spears and chanting rhythmically before a rough-hewn altar, upon which a woman writhing in a fur bikini struggles against the vines tethering her arms to the altar's towering sides (though even a casual inspection reveals that the vines are looped around her wrists, not tied, and would probably fall limply to the ground if she would just open her hands and turn loose of them).Why is she tied--er, looped to the altar? She's a Snackable in a fur-bikini wrapper, a squirming sacrifice to the Great One--a snarling, bellowing Tyrannosaurus Rex rendered in stop-motion animation so shaky and erratic as to call to mind an image of Michael J. Fox doing an impression of Elvis dancing to "All Shook Up." With more gratuitous nudity than one of Calvin Klein's wet dreams; with dime-store plastic dinosaurs brought to life through ham-handed, conspicuous special effects that are almost capable of momentarily startling a slow-witted four-year-old child; and with acting more stiff, self-conscious, and unnatural than a break-dancing Mitt Romney, "Dinosaur Island" is 85 minutes of mediocrity sinking into banality under the weight of the director's apathy and the actors' indifference, most notable in the end for its almost complete lack of talent, wit, or imagination.I ranked it four out of five stars on Netflix, in the hope that Netflix will start tossing more flicks like it my way. I would've given it five stars, but I don't want Netflix to think that I lack discerning taste and a refined artistic sensibility.

As teenagers my friends and I went through a phase of deliberately renting the worst film we could find rather than the best. If it also had a bevvy of beautiful women in revealing costumes (or lack of them) it was definitely our first choice. After a while we began to notice that the name Fred Olen Ray appeared as the writer/director/producer on a disproportionate number of them and soon we began to actively look for him as a mark of, well, not quality so to speak but a guarantee of gorgeous babes in peril and nudity. So, how many boxes in that quotient did 'Dinosaur Island' check? Well let's see; Beautiful women naked? Oh yeah, some absolutely gorgeous B-movie babies in leather bikinis and a lot less. They may be a primitive tribe but they've obviously mastered the art of aerobics and breast enhancement!Frequent use of stock footage? Yep, it's amazing how many Dakotas the military use even in the 90s. Even more amazing they seem to have the ability to fly directly from Korea to the US which is quite an amazing feat of endurance. Appalling special effects? Yep, I can't really decide which is worse, the baby T-Rex which is so blatantly a hand operated puppet or the adult T-Rex which is very obviously two men in a big rubber suit?Dialogue which makes you wince? By golly and how! Plot which makes little or no sense? In spades!Just for the record, the Stegasaurus is a vegetarian dinosaur so why do they kill it?So don't go in expecting Citizen Kane but for what it is this is a fine film in the great Fred Olen Ray tradition.

I can't help but enjoy this movie. It's a jiggle-movie that manages to make fun of jiggle-movies. Whether or not this was intended is irrelevant. One can very plainly tell that the cast and crew are NOT taking themselves seriously on this project. The dinosaurs appear to be recycled from the Carnosaur movies, with no regard for achieving realism. The filmmakers have a great time using the oldest effects tricks in the book for this movie. Again, like a lot of movies, this one is the type that is best enjoyed by those who enjoy a good, BAD movie.

First of all, this is a Fred Olen Ray-Movie. His movies are so trashy, cheap and bad that they are really funny. This is one of his funniest. A few soldiers are landing on an island with bombshells. The only disturbing thing is a dinosaurus. Well, the happy-ending is really nice. A must for Trash-movie Freaks.