The universe demands balance. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. For every positive there is a negative. Good and evil, courage and fear, happiness and sadness, dark and light: one cannot exist without the other. Likewise, for every really cool '80s horror movie, there's an equally dire turd from the same decade and genre just waiting to be rediscovered.Death Row Diner is one such stinker, a foetid, almost unwatchable Z-grade crap-fest that attempts to inject some humour into its cheezy proceedings but which proves to be about as funny as an outbreak of Ebola. Set in an abandoned prison, it sees the vengeful spirit of film studio boss Otis Wilcox (John Content), who was wrongfully executed for the murder of his wife, returning from the dead to cause havoc for the cast and crew of a low-budget horror flick being produced by Otis's grand-daughter Julia (scream queen Michelle Bauer).With a pitiful script that fails to deliver either scares or laughs, an amateurish cast who seem to be improvising most of their dialogue, lousy direction from B. Dennis Wood (who now calls himself D3 and works exclusively in the porn industry), and woeful gore effects, Death Row Diner is truly terrible from start to finish. The film doesn't even manage to deliver that most basic of B-movie horror ingredients, gratuitous female nudity: despite being more than qualified, busty blonde make-up woman Phoebe (Dana Lis Mason) fails to go topless, while star Bauer, who can usually be relied upon to flash some flesh, keeps (most) of her clothes on.

DEATH ROW DINER is a fun, little SOV (shot-on-video) romp starring the wonderful Michelle Bauer (Sorority Babes, Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, Nightmare Sisters, many more...)Otis Wilcox, once a powerful man in Hollywood whose studio churned out big budget Hollywood hits in the 30s and 40s, is framed for murdering his wife, and he is electrocuted... a hungry man... 40 years later, his former studio is now being run by two ruthless men, one of whom is married to his grand-daughter, Julia Wilcox-Weston (Michelle Bauer). While shooting a movie in the now abandoned prison where Otis is electrocuted, a freak electrical storm brings Otis back to life, now hideously disfigured, is hungrier than ever and ready to wreak havoc on the filmmakers and crew who have dragged his once grand studio into the depths of B-movie debauchery.DEATH ROW DINER, in my opinion, is probably one of the best SOV horror-comedies to come out of the 80s. The reason for that is that it doesn't take itself seriously. The acting, of course, is sub-par at best. Excluding the wonderful Michelle Bauer and Jay Richardson, who plays her crude husband. The gore is absolutely laughable (i.e. the ping-pong paddle scene instantly comes to mind). The production values are on par with that of an early 80s adult film. All of these things is what makes DEATH ROW DINER just an absolute blast to watch! It doesn't take itself seriously (unlike PHANTOM BROTHER) and it's intentionally meant to spoof the B-movie industry.I urge anyone who loves crappy horror-comedies, or SOV completionists, or any fans of Michelle Bauer to track this bad boy down. It's quite rare, these days, but it usually pops up on ebay every once in awhile for cheap. You MUST own it! Now!

Death Row Diner is not meant to be taken seriously. It's a movie meant to be enjoyed for it's schlokeyness, like Plan 9 or Reefer Madness. If you take it at that, you're bound to get an hour's worth of entertainment. Now if only I could find a copy of it.

When I first watched this movie I had to crank up the volume on my T.V. set to actually hear what was said. I also thought that this would be a comedy/horror, but towards the end, it turned out to be just a plain stupid dark comedy!There's inside jokes on her movie "Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers", which also featured Jay Richardson, who's also in this dumb movie and was distributed by the same company and director. C'mon Michelle do an interesting movie for once, with a better made budget!