...from people who likely don't know any better, and even more likely don't care one way or the other, "Dear God No!" can't help but live up to its name in any discerning viewer's mind. Ostensibly an homage to 70s grindhouse features, this bit of pitiable excess fails to show any genuine respect for the genre or for filmmaking in general. Wooden non- actors swell the cast while reciting lines that might impress middle- schoolers with IQs in the room temperature range. The camera-work is---to be kind---in focus (well, usually), and the rest of the production values aren't much better. Costuming (and the lack thereof for most of the females) is probably the film's only strong point.Needless to say, the script is abysmal, direction is non-existent, and did I already mention that the actors can't express themselves out of a paper bag? The corpse of Ted Sturgeon is shaking its head in despair. This one's a time-waster only, kiddies; not even the rampant nudity can recommend it. You've been warned.

Well what can I say about this one. Being a huge fan of 70's and 80's slasher, exploitation and grind-house cinema I was quite excited when I saw the cover of this DVD at my local DVD store and had to buy it.I went home that night with high hopes expecting something along the lines of Fathers day or Hobo with a shotgun - was I disappointed or what! While this film had a few slightly funny moments, especially a scene at the end where I had to laugh out loud, I cant say that there was too much else that I enjoyed about this film.While I appreciate the shoestring budget that they probably had when making this film and I know that I could not do any better, I still found the acting far too cheesy. I know they were trying to get the feel of old exploitation films, however the acting just came across as a high school film studies class project.This film could have had a lot of potential, however the cheesy acting, the effects and the over use of nude scenes for no reason let it down.If you take out the nude scenes from this movie ( that added nothing to the plot or film) the film would only be 75% as long. Having a topless stripper dance on screen is great, however to have one dancing in a movie for 5 minutes straight was 4 minutes too long and seemed to me as a way to make the movie more appealing to someone who thinks that boobs in a film make a great film.I know the things that I did not like about this film are exactly what fans of this type of cinema including myself normally like and are after in a film, however it just did not work for me.I'll at least give it one thing, I watched it to the end, which is more than I can say for a few troma films that I have bought in the past.

It was fun for a while, but now I'm getting rather tired of the fad for 'grindhouse' movies, which see directors deliberately striving to replicate the flagrant content and gritty style of 70s and 80s exploitation films. They may boast memorable titles and cool retro poster art, but they rarely prove to be any cop, their grungy affectations and knowing outrageousness being poor substitutes for real talent.The latest effort to proudly fly the 'grindhouse' flag is 'Dear God No!', a violent biker flick from writer/director James Bickert, who is so intent on achieving his desired aesthetic and meeting his quota of bad taste and debauchery (thereby ensuring marketability) that he seems to forget about trying to make a decent film.The most disagreeable aspects of the film are not the sex and violence—after all, those who willingly watch this type of film expect, nay DEMAND such excess—but rather the acting, script and direction. Performances range from the bad to the diabolical, the plot is all over the place, and Bickert's visuals display little in the way of originality (unless lingering on a stripper for so long that it actually becomes boring counts).My rating: a generous 4.5 out of 10 just for the OTT splatter and rampant sleaze—file somewhere between equally disappointing 'grindhouse' efforts 'Run! Bitch Run! and Nude Nuns With Big Guns.

The terror that swept America has finally found a home on the far side of the Atlantic, thanks to Monster Pictures UK, who will release the movie on January 14th 2013. James Bickert's 16mm exploitation extravaganza Dear God No! is a loving homage to the classic biker, sexploitation and monster features which lit up the drive in screens across the world so many years ago. The Impalers are the most reprehensible biker gang in the Tri State area, one who have raped, robbed and butchered a path across the highways. The movie opens with the gang waking up after a night of debauchery, the ground on which they slept is strewn with beer cans, drug paraphernalia and dead nuns. This is nothing out of the ordinary for the gang who proceed to make their way towards a local hangout to have a sit down with the Satan's Own crew. The meeting goes bad and our protagonists take refuge in a reclusive cabin in the woods, home to a very stern scientist named Dr Marco (Paul McComiskey) and his seemingly meek daughter Edna (Madeline Brumby). They are in the midst of conducting experiments into the mysterious mutilation of local wildlife. Also in attendance are a young couple, one of whom is a Todd. It should be made very clear at this juncture that The Impalers hate Todds. The simple act of home invasion takes a trip into dark and terrifying places, with the tension increasing as terrible secrets are revealed. The blood is thick flowing and ever present, the witty dialogue creates more one-liners than your average stand up show and there are more gun toting girls here than Tarantino has ever dared to put in his movies. The most important thing to know about Dear God No! is the fact that it is a hilarious, depraved and genuine slice of grindhouse. It's nasty, grimy and raw and that's just what the grindhouse features were all about. Bickert manages to successfully pay tribute to the movies and aesthetic which he loves whilst simultaneously creating something very modern and unique. True fans of exploitation cinema will certainly find plenty to keep them entertained within this movie and, hopefully, will ignite some interest in a whole new generation of fans. With a fabulous one sheet by Tom Hodge and a sequel with the amazing title of Frankenstein Created Bikers in the works, this could be the beginning of a beautiful franchise. Colin McCracken writes extensively for zombiehamster.com as well as a number of genre publications. He can be found on Twitter as @zombiehamster