This curio thing (it's a bit unfair to bestow the title "film" on it!) was screened on Irish TV last night and I stuck with it for about half an hour just to see how bad it got, but to be honest I gave up after the first commercial break. I read it was supposed to be a parody of all things "Oirish" in films, but I'm afraid I didn't manage to last til this kicked in. As one of the other reviewers noted, signs were ominous when it took about 5 minutes of credits including self congratulatory and vanity publishing style lists of people and film boards associated with it, before the actual title of the movie finally appeared with still little indication of what it was about.Even then it was difficult to ascertain where exactly the film was supposed to be located, whether in Wales or Ireland, which wasn't helped by such glaring clangers as geographically inaccurate police/gardai cars and the fact that the majority of cars had UK registration plates even thought this was supposed to be Donegal? As I say, it may be unfair to classify this as a review considering I'm basing it on the 20 or 30 minutes I managed to stick with this for, but to term it comedy or anything near it based on what I saw is grossly misleading - I'd put it up there with Boy eats girl in terms of brutal Irish themed films of the past twenty years. It makes Darby O'Gill and the one with Dana (Rosemary Brown) as traveller girl look like classics!!

Dead Long Enough doesn't do it all by numbers and it looks very pleasant with its Irish and Welsh settings, and an attractive cast who bring warmth to a rather slight story. It's about two brothers with distinctly different personalities, an old flame who's had a child by one or the other of them, and some guns buried on a beach.Douglas Henshall is very good, Michael Sheen and Jason Hughes do an entertaining double act and everyone else manages to survive some potentially twee light comedy.It's not satirical, it's not particularly exciting, and it has about as much cinematic ambition as an episode of Only Fools and Horses – but it tells its story competently, it's well performed and the low budget production makes the best of the scenery. There are a number of elements that smack of not-having-thought-it-through. Some of the dialogue is surreal – I have no idea what the Welsh secretary was talking about for instance (you'll know it when you see it) and Joe Pasquale is out of place, yet oddly endearing as a gay soldier on border patrol… Also, there are some very strange chapter titles that don't add much to anything… and the climactic chase is a bit naff. But it doesn't fail because it doesn't hang itself on over-ambition. It could be a whole lot worse.

Oh deary me, what an angry review from the chap that went to the premiere of Dead Long Enough. Worse for him, he was in the Audience which gave the film the Audience Prize at the Cardiff film festival. eeK!!The chap very angry that such a fine writer like himself cannot raise funding for one of his own projects in Wales. Good to get it out there free himself up for his next attempt at getting a few bob to make a film, a really important serious film about something really important and serious.He, I suspect might be one of the pseudo critics that the film is in fact satirising. Personally, I really enjoyed the film I saw it in Ireland where I suspect people got the fact that it was taking 'the Mick' of how the Irish are portrayed in film. Dead Long Enough to me was a complete parody of the way Ireland has been portrayed by an unintelligent British and American media, Gunmen, red heads, borders, soldiers, drink, some drugs, the oirishness of the Police while being a laugh was a satire on the way the Brits and Yanks see the Irish. Silly policemen in comic book style.Did he not catch the whole Gunman escapade was parody. That the foreigners in love with the IRA man was ironic. By the way she was not Icelandic either. Did he not see the red haired colleen was in itself a satire on how some outsiders see Irish woman. Probably not. No wonder the Welsh need a bit of help with their film making.I'm glad he liked the music. I think that was Irish too. For gods sake someone in Wales give this guy a few quid to make a classic like How welsh was my valley.

I saw this film at its "world premiere" at the Cardiff Screen Festival in November 2005. I'm struggling to find words to describe how bad it was, but the omens were not good when the opening titles rolled with a seemingly never-ending list of public funding bodies, Irish and Welsh, who had had their fingers in this pie.The plot of this so-called comedy involves two brothers from Wales, one a now-famous TV archaeologist Harry Jones (Michael Sheen) who takes little brother Ben (Jason Hughes) back to Ireland for his stag night, to the seaside town where they spent a happy summer 17 years ago.Ben, although now set to marry his Welsh fiancé, still carries a torch for the young red-haired colleen Sinead (Angeline Ball) who shared that summer with the two boys. Since then she and her Irish boyfriend Styx (Douglas Henshall) have apparently emigrated to Australia. And Harry has a terrible secret he hasn't dared tell his love-struck brother – he actually slept with Sinead all those years ago.So, with a flourish of plot "twists" that my four-year-old daughter could have guessed, it's revealed that Sinead didn't actually go to Australia, because her boyfriend has just spent the last few years in prison for gun-running or terrorism (it's not entirely clear, like most things in the film). And guess what, she has a 17-year-old daughter, who could be Ben's or Harry's.Throw into the mix, for no apparent reason, a blonde Icelandic photographer, a couple of pantomime Oirish policemen, some nonsense about terrorist weapons buried in the nearby archaeological dig, a ludicrous chase to the border to meet Joe Pasquale as a gay British army lieutenant and you have an awful mess of a film which is about as funny as herpes. Ben and Sinead get married in the last scene, but then I'm sure you could have guessed that, and by that point I'd almost lost the will to live.How the screenplay got past the first review stage I have no idea, but in the introduction from one of the Welsh funding bodies at the premiere it seemed that the Welsh film industry were desperate to get at least one proper feature film made in 2005, and this was their only prospect. Oh dear, are things really as bad as that? Rating: 2 out of 10, for the soundtrack and some of the cinematography, but I really wouldn't bother if I were you. A lot of good actors wasting their time on poor material.