Contains comedy lines from the film. No end spoiler.Seven crime figures are ordered by Gordon (Jerry Anderson) to guard a coffin until he arrives. An eighth person, an educated junkie (Ben Shafik) is also present when Steve Stevens (Ed Stoppard) their banker locks them in. The characters are quite colorful and Meat (Vas Blackwood) comes up with the dumbest questions. For instance:Stevens says"I've got good news and I got bad news, what do you want first?" Criminal: " The bad news." Stevens "The bad news is, there is no good news." Meat: "Okay, what's the good news?"The film is done grindhouse/Tarantino style with a shoot out, blood, and western metal music. The mystery item is "the coffin." Meat initially claims he ordered it off "the dark web" and it is a V-A-M-P-I-R-E slaying kit as Meat doesn't want to say the word and gets upset when anybody else says it. Tensions mount and suspicions fly as they suspect one among themselves is a v-a-m-p-i-r-e.

This movie has been under the radar and I could not find it for quite some time. When I first heard about this movie it was in production and I found it when I was looking at Daniel Feuerriegel's IMDb-page. The tag-line got me 'lock stock meets true blood'. I haven't seen true blood but I like vampires and 'Lock, Stock' and 'Snatch' are two of my favorite movies. It was hard to find this film in good quality for me, but today I succeeded.I was a bit put off by the small 5 stars this movie has gotten. I think this has to do with the classifications of horror and comedy. It is certainly a comedy, in the dark style of 'lock, stock', there were some funny jokes and the character were familiar with the characters you see in 'lock, stock' and 'Snatch'. The smooth-talking one, the crazy one and the dumb one for example.Horror is not a part of this movie, the premise is only a bit eerie, so to say. 7 criminals and one junkie find themselves in a crypt looking for a coffin and a personal stash of heroine. The 7 criminals all are from the same crime organization, although from different branches. The coffin should contain a answer to why the different branches have been targeted and lost a lot of profit in recent times. The criminal organization is led by Gordon, who is coming at a later time to see the containment of the coffin. What unfolds is a whodunit in a crypt, when it becomes certain that one of the people present is causing the downfall of criminal business and they are locked inside the crypt.What follows is a interesting plot with a lot going on. The crypt is the only location in the movie. So no, this is not a horror, this is a whodunit. If that is your type of movie, I found this one quite watchable, the story as mentioned is well written and the camera work is nice. The acting varies, some characters I found very well written and played out, others not that much. Some of the acting was a bit over the top, but that made the movie fun as well. The only character I found flat was the female character. She had no real background given to her and it felt that she was only there to have a female in the movie. A shame, with the tiny bits she got going on she got easily have gotten some decent backstory. The other characters were developed in that sense.Conclusion: If you like whodunit and the humor of 'lock, stock' and 'snatch', I would certainly recommend it. I found the plot strong and most of the characters well acted and fleshed out. If you are looking for a horror movie, this isn't one.

I chanced on this on Blinkbox. It wasn't what I expected, in fact it was much, much better. I thought it was going to be some tacky gangsters versus vampire film (which I would have been OK about). Instead it was a who-dunnit/locked-room mystery. Even if everyone in that room are worried about a vampire who is killing criminals. Witty dialogue, lots of plot twists and some decent acting. Very stylishly directed as well.It is definitely worth watching, and I say that as someone with absolutely nothing to do with the production.I'd say more, but I enjoyed the way the story developed, and I'd hate to spoil someone else's enjoyment.

Get Carter meets Usual Suspects meets Agatha Christie meets Shaun of the Dead in an intriguing plot that keeps you guessing right to the final act.The entire film is set in a crypt and features just 9 characters. Kudos to both the directors and cast for managing to give all these characters enough back story and development to elevate them from pastiche and make them interesting and indeed likable - despite their criminal and in some case psychotic natures.The "Mcguffin" of the story is a coffin located in the crypt that 8 gangsters, dealers and crooks are brought together to guard. Beyond that is a more abstract story involving gang warfare, revenge killing and a blood-thirsty vampire. I wondered at one point if the contents of the coffin would NOT be revealed, but don't worry the film does have a conclusion, thus I suppose the McGuffin isn't actually a McGuffin!!! I'm pleased about that because I generally find films that don't offer a satisfactory ending thoroughly frustrating. Rest assured you do get a conclusion - albeit one that will make you go back and replay the story in your mind. Indeed I shall be watching the film again very soon to try and spot the "clues."Hard to pick out any performances as the whole cast were excellent, but special shout outs to Ben Shafik - the most erudite heroine addict you have ever seen, Philip Barantini - wonderfully funny as one half of a pair of unstable brothers and finally Ed Stoppard who has the perhaps unenviable role of being the character that does much of the explaining for the audience's benefit.Check this out: A) you'll enjoy it. B) supporting independent films is very important if we want to see challenging and interesting projects like this get produced