This Harry Novak produced example of 1970's sexploitation concerns comedy more than coitus. Like most soft-core porn, "Country Cuzzins" exposes the gals more than the guys. Occasionally, you'll see male genitals, but there are neither erections nor penetration scenes in this low-budget, 90-minute, drive-in sex saga. Primarily, the women are shown naked with breasts and beavers bared for the fun-loving, horny guys. Watching this movie you get the impression that writer & director Bethel Buckalew of "Tobacco Roody" must have seen an episode of "The Beverly Hillbillies" because the story involves a wealthy relative who visits her cousins at a farm and winds up reciprocating by extending an invitation for them to visit her in the city. Interestingly enough, the city cousin starts off behaving haughty, but when everything is said and done, she ends up liking her country cousins.Country girl Billie Jo Peabody (sex starlet Rene Bond of "Teenage Sex Kitten") bares everything on the farm after she gets dirty while fighting with her big sister Jenny (Pamella Princess of "Southern Comforts")who doesn't like the idea of Billie cavorting about with the guys while she has to tend the pigs. Billie is upset that Jenny got her dirty, so she strips to her bare flesh in the middle of broad daylight and splashes herself down with a water hose. As she is refreshing herself with the water, wetting down her breasts and groin as well as suggestively drinking out of it, her two brothers Jeff Peabody (one-time only actor Mark Buckalew) and his very dense sibling Jeeter Peabody (mustached Steven Hodge of "Below the Belt") ogle their naked sister. They chase her and pin her down at one point, but nothing happens among them. This opening gambit is followed by a proclamation by Grandma Peabody (a none-too-convincing Zena Foster of "The Corpse Grinders" in an obvious wig) that she wants to gather her family around her because she thinks that she is about to die. The patriach of the clan, Uncle Fester Peabody (Jack Richesin of "The Doll Squad"), rounds everybody up, including the ultra-horny Leroy Peabody (John Tull of "Midnite Plowboy") who rolls around with at least three honeys, for this porch talk.Everything changes when the Peabody's cousin, Cousin Prudence (Ellen Stephens) arrives in a long, black, four-door car that her kin folks mistake the Presidential limousine. Prudence samples a glass of moonshine after Grandma scolds Fester for not pouring her shine in a glass rather tahn taking it from the jug. Prudence cavorts in a barn with cousin Leroy who shows her how to swing on a rope. Mind you, Prudence doesn't shed a stitch throughout the film. Eventually, Fester orchestrates a chicken chase with a goat as the prize. Surprisingly, Prudence catches the chicken. Since she is hopelessly drunk on 'shine,' Prudence invites her country relatives to visit her, and Fester loads up the clan along with a pig and a goat and they drive off to California.Meanwhile, Prudence belittles her country relatives to her friends. When she learns that they are going to visit her at her estate, she decides to throw a costume party and all her friends dress up like bumpkins while the country Peabodys appear in city apparel. Uncles Fester and the country Peabodys show up and discover that Prudence has provided a band to serenade them. Billie Jo meets a squeaky-voiced talent scout, Walter Wimpy (Buck Flowers of "Bad Georgia Road"), who gets Billie to strip for him so he can check her out. Before he leaves with his relatives to visit Prudence, LeRoy indulges in some 'look and touch' sex with a woman who fears that either her mother will interrupt their love-making or she will get pregnant.Nothing really degenerate or dirty occurs in "Country Cuzzins." As a sexy movie, it isn't much to talk about, despite all of the copulating that goes on at the farm or in the city. Buck Flowers comes the closest to giving a performance, particularly when Rene Bond turns the tables on him. Yes, there is abundant female nudity, but nothing in the way of profanity or violence to complicate this shallow, often silly sex comedy.

I'm sure many people who love gourmet food have heard of Emeril Legasse, the New York-based chef, restaurant owner, T.V. star, and Crest Toothpaste spokesman. You have probably watched his show and heard him humour his audience and Doc Gibbs. He also has urged us to call our cable providers and ask for "Smell-O-Vision". I am glad it doesn't exist as I certainly wouldn't want to smell any of the odors coming from the farm where most of this movie takes place. Actually, the next day I had the nasty smell of the pigs and goats in my mind for some reason.This movie is supposed to be about the culture clash between a family of hillbillies and their sophisticated relative from L.A. who comes for a visit but what it is really about is an excuse to heap out loads of nudity and sex.This, for 1970, is quite an explicit film; even today's softcore films aren't this drenched in skin. Just about everybody gets naked for some country loving. Surprisingly, the women (despite the 1970 look) are pretty sexy. Rene Bond, as Billie Jo, struts her stuff and comes out like the sex kitten she is. I had no complaints about the women and the men play their stereotypical roles to a T. Yes, it is an ugly, stereotypical film at times but also paints an image of sexual freedom away from the stuffy city most of us choose to live in.This movie is shown on Drive-In Classics here in Canada if you can't find the DVD. BTW, the same farm was used a couple years later for "The Pigkeeper's Daughter" because I recognized the shed and pigpens. If you can accept the fact that this was what men and women looked in the nude in the 70's you will enjoy its short runtime. Just don't drink the 'shine.

Woo hoo! This is a country hoedown the likes you ain't seen in darn near a coon's age. Sorry that was just the moonshine talking. Harry Novak (smut peddler extraordinaire) brings up another soft-core sleaze-fest. Uncle Fester and his incestuous clan are having a reunion down on the farm. Plenty of moonshine to go around for the horny bunnies as the "Hee-Haw" gang throw a swell shindig that includes a chicken catch (don't laugh the top prize is a goat, Golly!). It really gets weird when the fun moves to cousin Prudence's city mansion where she plans on making the family out to be a big joke for her socialite friends. Plenty of nudity abound and tons of corniness.If you can tolerate screwball down-home this sexploitation classic could be for you.

1st watched 10/22/2002 - 1 out of 10 (Dir-Bethel Buckalew): Silly soft-core sex movie where everyone eventually gets naked and does the dirty deed. It's amazing that someone put out money to produce this kind of nothing-ness trash and besides this it's actually on DVD now!! Oh, boy!! So they're racking in some more money for producing this nothing-ness. Well, I guess we as the movie-going public kind of contribute to it. Look, I rented it! Please don't follow my example.