"Never trust anything that bleeds for a week and still doesn't die."Vice Sergeant detective John Dark(Luke Goss, who seems more worried about how cool he looks on screen)realizes that his new, well dressed partner, "Governor" Morty DC Shade(Kevin Howarth, who grows more and more creepy and menacing as the film continues)was actually killed in a raid on slave runners gone awry, revived by the blood of a foreign girl which gives birth to a creature(..labeled a "grail" by a kooky member of internal affairs, Dr. Elgin portrayed by bald-headed Matt Lucas)inside him. The grail yearns for blood, slowly transforming the host, creating a monster which replaces Shade overtime. Shade begins attacking those behind the slave-running operation which moves underage girls from country to country illegally for prostitution purposes, and Dark stands pat because playing by the rules hasn't brought the "bad guys" to justice. But, when Shade attacks a decoy placed in harm's way by the mastermind behind the entire slave-running operation, Dark convinces himself that the monster must be destroyed before things really get out of control. Albany(Carly Turnbull), a secret agent keeping a member of the slave-running organization safe because of his testimonies against his comrades in exchange for favors, butts heads with Dark when those associated with her client are turning up dead, horribly disfigured by some sort of beast with a nasty overbite. Soon Dark and Shade will have to duke it out or else the monster poses danger to the human race at large, not just those undesirables which break laws and pose a threat to society.Director Andrew Goth presents a flashy neo-noir Gothic horror flick which also works as a variation on the vampire theme and cop drama. The British-speak is on display and the tough-talking detectives ooze machismo. The villains of the film are rather undeveloped, only serving the plot as delicacies for Shade's vampiric monster, which emerges from a hole in his hand(..also, before the monster appears, long nails burst forth from Shade's fingers). Goth's style is ambitious and flamboyant as he uses all types of camera set-ups and movements, attempting visually, it seems, to make up for the paper-thin plot. Without the creature, this is just another Death Wish variant with Shade replacing Bronson's vengeance seeking vigilante, out for his own brand of justice. The heavies in the film are colorful, but they appear, are killed, and disappear..card board characters placed in the film as vermin for extermination. One member of the slave-ring, a woman needing money for her young son, Tommy(Rhys Moosa),who forges passports, is developed a bit because we do need some sort of sympathetic character in this film, other than agent Albany(..who often seems but a mere robot doing her duty to prevent harm towards her voice into a major operation she wishes to demolish)for when you have a story seething with such corrupted sorts and coppers stooping to their level to "clean the streets", it's nice to find someone to care about if even slightly. The attacks are often committed in a way to not show the creature eating inside it's victims perhaps due to budget constraints(..instead we are privy to the pleasured expression on Shade's face as he "feeds"). The creature is also rather shown quickly, never fully visible too long on screen, perhaps because it's created through CGI, which would expose how unrealistic it is. A lot is left to our imagination, that's for sure. Shade looks more and more like a vampire as the film moves along, his eyes absent of humanity, as he carries a ferocious visage. He really looks like a human monster by the film's climax. The film doesn't go out of it's way to explain how this creature came to be and the entire warehouse sequence where people died, including Shade(..the director follows Dark as he attempts to find his partner and the two slave-runners who were party to this particular exchange), occurs away from our eyes. Merely a hanging female corpse whose blood drops gave new life to Shade, combusting into flame, is our reason for the creature's existence.

I ended up switching it off after the first ten minutes or so. The story starts with Luke Goss (of Bros fame), pretending to be a double-hard b@stard. Except he sounds and looks like a bum bandit with a penchant for fake tanning products.The story then managed to drag itself through the next ten whole minutes making me feel really really bad about the impression us Brits have on the rest of the world, if this is the calibre of movie making in our country.There are many words to describe this movie, but to be honest I wasted ten valuable minutes of my life watching it, so don't think that another ten minutes spent writing about it is wise.Simply put......don't bother.......

I so wanted this film to be good after watching the trailer - it certainly had some potential seeing that it was British, promised to score high on the gore/violenceometer, starred ex-pop star Luke Goss (not an indication that one should anticipate a film of any quality, but in the trailer at least he appeared promising) and on top of all this featured none other than jolly old bonkers Matt Lucas for good measure.Apart from one scene in a toilet where our fairly derivative "monster" does the business (and briefly woke me up), this film is the most pretentious, woodenly acted drivel I have witnessed since - well, not that long ago... I still remember "Underworld"...Pant's more like, but I digress...The script seems to have been written acknowledging that most of the "actors" can't. This becomes most apparent when after around about 70 interminable minutes enter Matt Lucas, with an almost (I said almost!) Shakesperean flair - Oh joy! he speaks the first natural dialogue in the film! Sub Dr Who nonsense. Avoid.

Hip little flick with some ballsy ambition. The director is a guy to watch. The plot was a little twisted, but watch it twice and it gets better. Matt Lucas as Dr. Elgin was a brilliant piece of casting. Kevin Howarth I'd already seen in Last Horror Picture, but in Cold & dark he really gets to flex his acting chops. His performance is mesmerising. Luke Goss plays a good number, very mean and moody. Kinda like Jason Statham. I liked the way Andrew Goth goes for the cinematic shot. This guy shoots for the big screen and it works. But you can feel the tension against the low budget cutting in. There was just not enough time to flesh the good stuff out. Great gore FX in some scenes. The cottage blood bath worked a treat! The team behind this film have got something. I'll track 'em. A Gothic Western next? Cool.