This is not, a film, it might be feature length, but it i not a film. What it is, is an episode of a goofy cop show on TV. The kind that you would watch when there is nothing else on at three o'clock in the morning. I sat through the whole thing waiting for the canned laughter and fake audience reactions (*couple on screen kiss* Audiaence: "Wooooooooo"). Everything is done to that low budget TV show standard with fake looking sets, over the top acting an a weird style that mixes New York of the 60's with 90's technology and jokes. The story feels taken from a TV show too; you have the uptight, by the book cop partnering up with the lazy bum cop and this odd couple has to take down the mafia boss - hilarity ensues. Or at least that must have been the idea behind this crap. However, the story and characters feel outdated an all the jokes are far less funny than envisioned. The original was a cop show from the 60's and as far as I am concerned it should have ended with that.

My Dad was flipping through the movie channels, and he happened to stumble upon this. He was curious because of the things he has heard about the show (neither of us has ever seen it), and I sat down because I remembered it being in the Bottom 100. This was by far, one of the absolute worst movies I have ever seen. Period. There are too many things wrong with it for me to even count! The acting was stiff and unconvincing, to the point of it being BEYOND cringe inducing. I really felt bad for John McGinley, and I bet he is all too willing to shove this blight out of his memories.The jokes fell flat EVERY SINGLE TIME. The entire movie was devoid of any charm or wit. Did the writers even read the script? The only time I laughed was when Rosie's character was thrown into a dumpster, and that laughter wasn't a "Haha, what a funny and endearing scene" kind of laugh, but a "I hope a rabid rat or something would bite her so she'd be in pain and die, her soul burning in eternal flame" kind of laugh. When you wish the characters would die so you don't have to hear their annoying little one-liners anymore, the movie has crossed the point of no return.GOD this movie was painful to watch! By the end, both my Dad and I had a headache, and it put him in a bad mood for the rest of the day! Even my Step mom, who started watching during the last 10 minutes said it was terrible.Bottom line: DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE. I cannot stress that enough. It is NOT worth it! Though, if it is your goal to watch as many of the Bottom 100 as you can, then brace yourself for a migraine.

One of the worst, if not THE worst, big screen incarnations of a classic 60s TV show ever! This neutron bomb of a movie should have been a direct-to-video release, like the third and mercifully last "Honey, I Shrunk The Kids" fiasco, but no: the producers gamely went ahead and released - the cynic would say that films like this aren't released, they escape - this horror theatrically, apparently hoping that moviegoers would ignore the pre-release buzz and flock to the theater. They didn't. In fact, the only thing that moviegoers did do was to avoid this film as if not only their lives but the lives of their children as well hung in the balance. This misbegotten twelve ton turkey has none of the originality or comic timing that highlighted the TV series. What it does have, besides Nipsy Russell, who spends most of the film looking like he's ready to ask the producers if he can buy his way out of the script, and formaldehyde-soaked Al Lewis, are lame jokes, forced accents, crummy acting, and Rosie O'Donnell, who's even more irritating and grating here than she was on television. Guess she didn't learn from that other brilliant career move "The Flintstones". It's almost as if the producers set out to make a lousy movie; in this they entirely succeeded. The film is virtually unwatchable, and to those of us who fondly remember the TV show, a crushing disappointment. Avoid this loser at all costs.

My mission as of late has been to watch every single film on the list of 100 worst movies ever made. Right now I have scratched off around 20, with this steaming pile of rotting filth being one of them. Make no mistake, Car 54 is one of the single worst movies to come out of Hollywood, or as I like to call it, Evil Town (creative name, no?). I violently protest any of the other posters who claimed that some parts of this movie were either "average" or (shudder) "funnny." Nothing in this movie works, from start to finish, and to save the sanity of others I will try and express who bad things get. The opening scene features a truly horrible song and dance number which is badly filmed with a soft glow technique and features a cartoon canary that at one point dresses up like a rapper (oh yeah, no racial stereotypes here, no sir). Then we discover that this was the dream of our main character, a goofy cop played by the single most irritating man on the planet. Seriously, his voice and silly putty face made me want to shoot someone when he started talking. We then get the opening credits as a crappy rap song is played, one where a single verse is repeated 3 TIMES. God, was that excruciating, considering that during this song I got supposedly "wacky" footage of the cops acting silly. The rest of the movie is populated with characters NO ONE could love, a barely existing plot that has no chance of being stretched over 90 minutes, and who knows what else. Honestly I couldn't stomach much of this trash, since most of the humor is either obvious or downright nasty. Obvious example: the policemen keep going to donut stores when they're supposed to be working. OH, HAR HAR HAR. Is that supposed to be funny in 1994, much less 2003? Plus the fact that the entire thing is horribly outdated by its fashion, soundtrack, and slang. This was back when rappers wearing giant clock necklaces was considered "hip," so you can imagine the amount of bad fashion choices spattered throughout this film. Rosie O' Donnel makes her film debut here, and she crashes and burns I'm happy to say. Nasty example: the main character actually has sex with Rosie O' Donnel while screaming, "Oooh! OOOOH! OOOOOOOH!" You can't know it by reading that, but he says it in a "comical" way. Trust me, it's just plain nauseating. AVOID CAR 54, WHERE ARE YOU IF YOU VALUE THE PURITY OF YOUR SOUL. 0/4 stars