German director Uwe Boll has a reputation for prolifically turning out films that are, shall we say, unsatisfactory. He has worked with reputable actors and sizable budgets, yet all his films fail to convey, if anything, the joy of film making. It saddens me to say that the flick Blubberella epitomizes this total failure.I have seen many bad movies in my life; some so bad they became good, some bad in a campy way, some just plain crap, but Blubberella is none of that. It is uninspired, clumsy (and not in a quaint way), fake and most of all BORING. Uwe Boll must have had his sense of humor surgically removed to be able to produce such an utterly unfunny comedy.I can rage against bad films when they have redeeming qualities, or when there was a start of an idea, a good intention. Blubberella is just absolutely nothing.

I love-hate Uwe Boll. That's the best way to describe my feelings towards him.I absolutely hate the man, and I hate his films as honest attempts at art. However, I do love the "character" of Uwe Boll, and I love his films in an ironic, "so bad, they're good" kind of way.So I came into "Blubberella" from a fairly open place, expecting if nothing else, an amusingly-awful film. The problem is, this is an attempt at a comedy. When a film is meant to be serious, and it fails, it usually works in that sort-of ironic way because it's failed drama ilicits unintentional laughs. However, a bad comedy just sucks, because it fails in every respect. A failed dramatic scene can work if it becomes so bad, it's funny. However, no matter what, an unfunny joke is never funny, even in an unintentional way. It's just painful.And that's this film in a nutshell- painful and full of unfunny jokes.For some background, this film was shot at the same time as another of Boll's films, "BloodRayne III: The Third Reich", which was actually one of his better films, because he understood that it wasn't a good movie, and simply tried to make it entertaining. Hence, it worked as mindless thrills with lots of blood and sex, like a 70's exploitation film. I'd actually recommend it, it's a lot better than the first two, which were just foul.This film shares the entire same cast and crew as that film, and re-uses all of the sets, props and costumes. This film was basically made to be a cheap cash-in- Boll could film two movies for the price of one and release them separately.Lindsay Hollister stars as the title character "Blubberella", whose hobbies include eating and killing Nazi's. She's a damphire- a half-human, half-vampire living in Nazi Germany during World War II. She spends her time killing Nazi's, mainly to steal their food it seems. (Her opening kill features her slaughtering a Nazi for his sub-sandwich) Hollister, to her credit, at least tries, and is perky and fun, but the script is so sloppy, there's no enjoyment in her performance. Other actors include Clint Howard, Brendan Fletcher and Michael Pare, and they all give lukewarm-to-craptastic performances. Nobody really has their heart in this, and they're all about two seconds from looking at the camera and apologizing to the viewer for this filth.There is a vague attempt at a plot, including a resistance group or something (I don't know specifics, I only watched the first half, and I wasn't paying attention, it was so dull), but it's all just a scam to cram a lot of bad stereotype jokes down our throat.There is almost nothing to say about this film, good or bad. It's just bland. Also, a lot of the jokes are too random and have no structure. Despite taking place in WWII, Blubberella has a laptop computer and uses a Jewish dating website, there are passing references to Elvis Presley and George W. Bush, etc. Sure, anachronistic humor can be funny, but it has to have a basis within the reality of the film, and there is no attempt at setting up any internal logic here.There's also a lot of horrible stereotyping of groups such as the obese, gays, etc, and it's really offensive. And not in the good way, where taboos are pushed and ideas are parodied, but more in a grade-school bully kind of way. There's no love or respect in the offensive humor- you get the feeling that Boll really is just very jaded and spiteful and hateful of everyone he makes fun of.There's nothing to say about this film beyond that. It's 80-or-so minutes of unfunny, offensive stereotyping, and is extremely cheaply made. It's one of Boll's worse films (though from from his absolute worse), and isn't worth checking out. Skip it. A 1 out of 10.

Blubberella (2011) * 1/2 (out of 4) Uwe Boll's latest centers on an obese superhero known as Bubberella (Lindsay Hollister) who joins a Renaissance to kill as many Nazis as she can. Along the way it turns out she's also a half-vampire and likes to search the internet for guys to have sex with. It's really funny that Boll has become one of the most hated targets in cinema right now yet those who hate him most continue to watch each new movie he comes out with. I love bad movies and bad filmmakers but I've yet to dig into Boll's filmography but with a title like BLUBBERELLA I just had to check this one out. There's no question that this is a pretty bad movie but at the same time I at least give Boll credit for trying to deliver one laugh every ten seconds even if the majority of them don't work. It's also clear that Boll wanted to offended as many people as possible as there are jokes aimed at all races, gays, fat people, women and we even get some blackface moments. One of the highlights of the film is a spoof of the movie PRECIOUS and I must admit that it was just so tasteless that I couldn't help but laugh. The blackface jokes in a movie made in 2011 might seem shocking to some but this is an exploitation movie after all plus it's Boll so I guess it should be expected. Even though the film takes place in 1940 that doesn't stop the director from talking about current situations like Dancing with the Stars, Corey Haim, Michael Jackson and countless other celebs. Clint Howard plays a crazy doctor in the film and we're told he was also the doctor to Haim and Jackson so you know where that joke is going. There's a gay character who gets quite a few jokes aimed at him and they seem to have been written by some teenage boys as they're so childish. Hollister isn't too bad in her role and Howard offers up some mild entertainment. Boll himself plays Hitler but I won't comment on that. BLUBBERELLA could have been a fun camp movie but the screenplay just doesn't have enough going for it to work. There simply aren't enough laughs and in the end this is just a pretty silly movie.

Apparently this steaming mound of horse manure was hastily compiled together from some improvised scenes a few people put together whilst working on another rubbish film about Nazis.So imagine the half decent film set unused for the afternoon... the director thinks it's a good idea to make use of it (all the money he's already spent), and make a quick film on the side. He grabs a few of the actors (extras), including the poor girl shamefully cast as 'Blubberella' and so it begins.I can imagine Uwe Boll, the 'director' must of hastily scribbled down his 'script' on the back of some rolling papers. It's quite obvious that he tries to squeeze in everything that will make the uneducated film fans amongst us fall for - vampires, Nazis, zombies, sword fights, explosions etc.. without giving any thought as to how they remain relevant to the story.So I imagine he put all these ideas in a bucket, used the bucket as a toilet and then tried to stitch the elements loosely together to make the snooze inducing script.And so Blubberella ("Half human, half vampire, Mostly dough") is born like a giant fart.. and unfortunately for this already sick planet it shall remain lingering around poisoning the eyes of viewers for years thanks to DVD and Blu-ray and the internet. It's much harder to erase a film from history than it is to make it but I may just spend my life trying to destroy every copy of Blubberella. One day you'll thank me.In a nutshell, this movie stinks.