I have no idea how an awful movie like "Blood Ranch" ended up in my collection, in fact… It's the kind of imbecilic and terrible amateurish nonsense that I don't want to waste time and money on, because you just know in advance that it's made by over-enthusiast but totally untalented people. These people, like director Corbin Timbrook, desperately want to imitate their favorite role-model director, like Rob Zombie or Eli Roth, but they simply don't have the required budget or inspiration to deliver a half-decent film. The picture stills on the back of the DVD-cover promise extreme bloodshed, mayhem and half- naked luscious girls, but all it delivers is sheer boredom and pitiable attempts at black comedy. A quintet of uninteresting young people – two couples and a random hitch-hiker – is on their way to the Burning Man music festival, but naturally they have to take a detour due to road works and quickly run into trouble. They pick up a petrified wounded girl that is on the run for a vicious black van, and so they also become the prey of a family of disturbed retards. The screenplay and especially the dialogs appear to be written by a collective of kindergarten students and there isn't even that much violence or brutality on screen. The hand-held camera-work is insufferable, but not as much as the acting performances.

I'm writing this review mostly with the intention of warning you not to waste any of your time with this, since the rating for it appears to be inexplicably high (5.1!?). I was attracted by this DVD cover, which is pretty cool and very promising, but unfortenately it just didn't deliver. For the record, I'm a horror fan and fond of trash movies too. That is, the good ones. When the budget is very, very low, you've gotta compensate that with something. Could be lots of well crafted but still cheap gore effects, nudity, believable violence, a clever script, unbelievable sickness... something! Blood Ranch doesn't. All the situations and dialogs are both cliché and fake. Everything in the movie is a rip-off from something else, only worsened. The only rape scene is ridiculously fake and chicks won't even show their breasts, which is the opposite that the cover from the DVD implies. Forget about this one, rent Cabin Fever or anything else instead.

As a rule, I find horror films a little tiresome, but Blood Ranch starts with a great premise and slowly builds up to some outrageous horror and sick humor. The film tips its hat to some of the classics, and there's even a reference to Texas Chain Saw. It's not good that the premise of the movie is revealed in the selling bites on the DVD listing as you don't learn the truth until near the end of the movie and it all starts to make a lot more sense. One thing about horror films which has always bugged me is that the bad guys never seem real to me, as if they are some kind of limitless satanic evil or whatever. In Ranch, we really believe that the leader Spider is believable scenario is very possible and for that, all the more frightening.

You may be the watcher or the buyer and you will want keep it and show it to other people that you may know. It is what many people think the horror movies should be. Don't be so serious to make me want to be scared. I like it to be funny from the makers of the movies that want people to be fearing. I am only 17 years today but i still will always want to laugh about dark movies that people think are so serious. They are not for me when they are real type scary. This one was perfect to me. I see many people think this movie was not good to them. The people must be very very hard of heart to want to see evil make show. Live, love and laugh is my saying to live by.