You know which 1990 movie doesn't hold up? This one. The last time I saw this was in theatres, in 1990, so 25 years ago. I saw everything and anything back then, and like most kids, I just loved all films. I hadn't yet seen the 1,000s of movies I'd eventually see that would formulate my opinions on both crap and what makes real movies special. And still, my memory of this was: "It was just all right."Granted, it was just 1990, but it was sooo 90s. So many situations that could never happen, nor could ever work in a "remake" these days. But, because of that, it does allow some fun action scenes of pure fantasy and that's what I liked about 90s action flicks.The plot is actually interesting – Witness Protection Dude is recognized and wants a relocation, but all Hades erupts when both the bad guys and his old flame are mixed together to escape. As stated above, none of the following could possibly happen. Such as bank robberies, police beating/fleeing and property damage, but liberties were granted in 90s action/comedies.Mercifully, Gibson and Hawn had somewhat chemistry together and Gibson, hot during his Lethal Weapon series, had his usual (early 90s) shtick and charisma working for him. But, overall, it was too long, including an extended zoo-finale that was just…eh, to recommend. Unless, of course, you solely grew up on the unrealistic 90s action/comedy/romances and can let a lot go that I could not with this viewing. So, I agree with my younger, quarter-of-a-century self. It was just "all right." At least, we got to see Gibson's hairy ass. That's always a plus in my book.

Summer crowd-pleasers rarely aspire to anything more than big box office returns, but this feather-brained comedy adventure is appallingly unfunny even by its own bubblegum standards. It's less a film than a two hour package of ads for, among other products: Coca Cola, Evian mineral water, Pennzoil, the Four Seasons hotel chain, the almighty MasterCard and, of course, Mel Gibson's bare bottom, a source of awestruck admiration in at least two scenes and also the subject of one hairy close-up. It could have been worse: when the film isn't glorifying his butt it's praising another, presumably well endowed, feature of his anatomy. Never mind the sad excuse for a story; salespersons Gibson and Hawn are merely paid to meander through a series of routine chases, witless dialogue exchanges, and predictable romantic interludes, unburdened by any semblance of character, and with no chemistry between them in any case. The film is condescending (if not downright insulting) to Orientals, homosexuals, wild animals, women, the homeless, and of course anyone gullible enough to waste money seeing it.

Bird on a Wire starts as successful lawyer Marianne Graves (Goldie Hawn) stops off at a gas station in Detroit & recognises the hired help as Rick Jarmin (Mel Gibson) her old boyfriend who she thought was dead. Rick denies it & she leaves, since Rick has been living in hiding for the past fifteen years under the FBI witness relocation program he wants to move on before Marianne comes back. He talks with corrupt FBI agent Joe Weyburn (Stephen Tobolowsky) who passes his information onto the bad guy who Rick's testimony put behind bars, Eugene Sorensen (David Carradine) & his drug lord boss Albert Diggs (Bill Duke) before wiping his file altogether. Diggs & Sorensen head over to Detroit to kill Rick at the same time Marianne decides to go back & speak with him, Diggs & Sorensen fail to kill Rick & Marianne helps him escape. Everyone from the police to the FBI to Diggs & Sorensen are after them as Rick & Marianne go on the run...Directed by John Badham I thought Bird on a Wire was a fun little action adventure with a nice sense of humour that I rather liked. The script by David Seltzer, Louis Venosta & Eric Lerner plays like a mismatched cop flick along the lines of Gibson's earlier Lethal Weapon (1987) with Rick & Marianne paired as arguing ex-lovers caught up in an action adventure. This is where the film, in my opinion, works very well as I think Gibson & Hawn both have good on screen chemistry & are fun to watch as they trade insults. There are some amusing one-liners, the action scenes are pretty good with some decent vehicular mayhem & fight scenes. The bad guy's aren't great as they don't get much to do & aren't evil enough for my liking, in fact they disappear from the middle third almost entirely. At less than two hours Bird on a Wire never outstays it's welcome, it moves along at a nice pace although the farm scene might have cut down or removed entirely as it serves no real purpose & generally speaking I aways have fun whenever I've seen it.Director Badham does alright, there are some neat action scenes including a cool car chase, a motorbike chase & scene in which a helicopter chases a plane! There's some nice explosions & fights too although you may feel, like me, it was cut down to get a lower rating as some of the dubbing isn't great & it's all but bloodless. I have to say Goldie Hawn really does look rather good in this, I wouldn't be surprised to learn that a body double was used on occasion but she looks pretty sexy in this.Technically the film is well made with high production values although how did Rick & Marianne get from that beam on top of the hotel to the window they let themselves in through? The acting is pretty good & as I said Gibson & Hawn are both very likable in this, Carradine & Duke are wasted in minor bad guy roles & despite near top-billing on the credits Joan Severance gets about 5 minutes screen time.Bird on a Wire is a likable, fun, light hearted, not to violent & entertaining action adventure that I personally liked. All things considered I think you could do a lot worse.

This was "cute" and "funny" the first time I saw it, but "annoying" on the second look. A big part of that was my pet peeve of hearing God's name used an exclamation all the time and Goldie Hawn was absolutely brutal in that regard. Every time she was in trouble, which was often, it was "Oh, God!, Oh, God!, Oh, God!"Puh-leeze, stop with the bimbo blasphemy. I am so sick of people doing this, especially women who are the worst abusers and especially dumb blondes. Anyway, the profanity in addition to the above-mentioned, made this film deserve an "R" rating, not "PG-13." How many movies have we seen where that is the case? Parents, beware of films labeled "PG-13."If none of this stuff bothers you in the least and you like a fun comedy-adventure then I heartily recommend the movie. You'll get a lot of laughs and entertainment out of this. Hawn and Mel Gibson are always in some kind of trouble and they are a likable couple to watch. This movie personifies both actors: Mel, the handsome macho guy with the sense of humor and Goldie the cutie who is smarter than she looks.... and not as innocent, either. She really likes to show off her butt in this film. It's nice, but the fanny jokes are overdone here.The bad guys in the movie? The DEA, who else? That's Hollywood's most hated group, I think, even more than the military. Anyone who might takes drugs away from them is a definite enemy of movie producers, directors and actors!In this weak-plotted film, our two "buddies" are chased all over the country and we viewers just go along for the bumpy and crazy ride.