This has the worst acting ever and some rather dull minded plot twists but it has a glorious amount of violence. While the violence is often a bit under rate.. there are several scenes that will make anyone that likes a good gorefest smile in satisfaction.I give the director props for going between several different styles of movie inside of one movie- we begin with a gangster sort of setting and before you know it, we are back in time...But no matter what time it is or where we are- there are several people either being brutally murdered or tortured- hey.. that's what happens in this flick, and that's why I like it- it's mildly comical to wait for the moment in the scene where they just say.. ah hell let's just kill everyone.PLOT: a woman interviews a cemetery caretaker about the history of a holy relic and the bloodbath it has caused in its' wake. Several violent scenes- poor editing and poor acting are made up for by a large amount of violence to the point of being darkly comical.Anyone that has had a bad thanksgiving dinner should go home and watch the first scene of this movie. :-) This is a great trash flick for a party or when you are under the influence at home looking for some senseless violence.There are also some medieval scenes w dungeons for peeps that dig that. This is like a well-budgeted student film that redeems itself by butchering lots of people well.

I'm sorry to inform that this it is not the film that you will attend.The film that you are about to see it is extremely unpleasant.4 00:01:29,990 --> 00:01:32,976 I am sure that there are plenty of places in the room number 2.5 00:01:33,636 --> 00:01:34,053 However...6 00:01:34,227 --> 00:01:36,623 ... it likes himself histories of intelligent orphans7 00:01:36,658 --> 00:01:38,603 and reasonably attractive,8 00:01:39,644 --> 00:01:43,117 mysterious fires,9 00:01:43,430 --> 00:01:45,896 Italian food and secret organizations...10 00:01:46,347 --> 00:01:53,293 then be. While I proceed the children's footprints of all Bouduller.11 00:01:54,543 --> 00:01:57,426 My name is Lemon Sniccked,12 00:01:57,356 --> 00:02:00,656 and it is my sad one to owe to document this story.13 00:02:02,357 --> 00:02:08,400 Violet Bouduller, the oldest, was one of the best inventors of the world with only 14 years.14 00:02:09,512 --> 00:02:16,631 Who knew her well,knew that she invented something, when she had her long picked hair.15 00:02:16,701 --> 00:02:20,069 In a world of abandoned items and wasted materials,16 00:02:20,556 --> 00:02:23,438 Violet knew that there was more some thing.17 00:02:23,959 --> 00:02:29,203 Something that she could transform in some thing, for any occasion.18 00:02:29,689 --> 00:02:32,537 And there was not anybody better to test their inventions19 00:02:33,753 --> 00:02:34,690 that his/her brother.20 00:02:37,226 --> 00:02:38,476 Klaus Bouduller,21 00:02:38,684 --> 00:02:39,726 the brother of the middle,22 00:02:40,074 --> 00:02:41,497 he/she adored books.23 00:02:42,053 --> 00:02:44,831 Or better... the things that he/she learned through the books.24 00:02:45,109 --> 00:02:48,895 The parents Bouduller had an enormous library in his/her mansion.25 00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:54,174 A room full of thousands of books on almost all of the subjects,26 00:02:54,590 --> 00:03:00,390 and nothing pleased more Klaus, that to pass one afternoon filling the head with his/her content.27 00:03:01,502 --> 00:03:02,509 Everything that read...28 00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:04,071 ... it was in his/her memory.29 00:03:11,122 --> 00:03:11,851 Sunny,30 00:03:12,441 --> 00:03:13,553 the newest,31 00:03:13,692 --> 00:03:15,220 he/she had different interests.32 00:03:15,845 --> 00:03:17,442 She liked to bite the things33 00:03:17,512 --> 00:03:19,839 and he/she had four sharp teeth.34 00:03:21,436 --> 00:03:25,013 There was very little thing that Sonny it didn't like to bite.35 00:03:35,502 --> 00:03:41,336 Sunny testified, several strange events.36 00:03:41,683 --> 00:03:48,004 This would probably mean, look at that mysterious illustration in the thick fog.37 00:03:48,838 --> 00:03:50,262 Or maybe...38 00:03:51,060 --> 00:03:53,179 what is making a banker as Mr. Pow39 00:03:53,561 --> 00:03:57,728 walking for the middle of the sand, to meet at the beach.40 00:04:01,340 --> 00:04:02,556 Children,41 00:04:03,285 --> 00:04:08,008 lament to have to inform on a terrible accident.42 00:04:10,405 --> 00:04:15,961 Lament a lot to count, but their parents they died in a fire that distruiu his/her house.43 00:04:17,455 --> 00:04:19,191 If you already lost somebody that it went very dear,44 00:04:19,538 --> 00:04:21,483 they already know what sits down.45 00:04:22,108 --> 00:04:22,907 If they still didn't lose,46 00:04:23,949 --> 00:04:25,824 it is impossible imagine.47 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:39,716 Nobody knows the necessary cause of the fire.48 00:04:40,168 --> 00:04:42,390 My friends and me, we investigated the maximum that we were able to49 00:04:42,529 --> 00:04:47,704 but everything that we discovered was that the fire the great distance was ballasted,50 00:04:47,843 --> 00:04:50,343 atravéz of the reflex and of the convergence of the light.

this film has to be seen to be believed!i was in tears of laughter yet pain at the same time if you imagine a bad cheap porn film script and then forget to add any sex in it what so ever then this is the film you would end up with. it even manages to change style completely half way through starting as a modern day gunfest and yet changing into a medieval swordfest without any explanation at all. a great film for watching with friends whilst drunk or lending to people you detest with every fibre of your body.absolutely the worst film i have ever endured.

okay the actors in the first story are clearly amatures but given motivations and content Ie - a reason to show graphic Ittenbach effects, I guess they were playing by numbers but the story and perfomances in the med-evil story are quite engaging - Darren Shalavi (I-Spy)is quite remarkable as the quite sorry Dennis who decides to use his impressive fighting abilities to defeat Brewster played with gusto by Rusell Friedenberg (Legion of the dead) and the evil lord Demming to save his love. the visual effects, graphic as they are compare on a higher level to Ittenbachs earlier work - Black past and Burning Moon and Premutos but this time using dual stories tied in by a beautiful reporter and graveyard caretaker tryiong to explain things for us, we get a more complex and anticipated story. the main problem with this film is that no matter how great Shalavi, Ittenbach and some of the rest of the cast are or not, as with the gangsters in the first story, the effects do add some craziness to the film and as with Ittenbachs last film Legion of the dead they will be cut from most releases as they ended up being here in Germany due to the increadable realism, so you get a diluted version which may not make to much sense. Heck though if you like gore and sword fights along with your torture this is the film for you, seek out the directors cut though.