BENEATH THE MISSISSIPPI is a criminal enterprise when it comes to film-making. By that, I mean it's criminally bad, and without a doubt one of the worst ever films I've had the misfortune to watch. It makes the likes of TROLL 2 look like an Oscar-winning masterpiece by comparison. This is nothing more than an amateur BLAIR WITCH PROJECT copy made without one tenth of the skill that went into that movie.The story sees a documentary film-maker and her crew travelling to a remote area of the Mississippi to investigate some weird historical deaths. It soon transpires that this is nothing more than an exercise in traipsing around while nothing happens other than the director plays with various features on his camera. Not a second goes by without dodgy editing, random strobe lighting, or distorted picture and sound effects. It gets distracting and tiresome about two minutes in.In addition, this is a film that plays out virtually without dialogue so it becomes indescribably boring before long. The running time is near two hours which is the most inexplicable thing about it; surely this kind of trash should be over and done with as soon as possible, not dragged out endlessly? It really is an abomination of film-making.

The movies that get packaged into those '(number) Horror Movies' DVDs at the local Mart of your choice, you would think that only the best of the best would be included. Good horror movies have had such a prominence in society that you would think that whether it comes down to Jason Voorhees or the Blair Witch kids or just a vintage Universal Studios monster - that only the elite would come together to be in a wonderful twelve-hour movie marathon of classics. Sadly, that only exists in a perfect world that doesn't happen to be this one, and that's a shame. Instead, whether you happen to live under Echo Bridge or happen to fish at Mills Creek, you're going to be handed films that people made on their spare time with numerous problems-- which finally brings us over to Exhibit A... 'Beneath the Mississippi'.Reviews have already pointed out the audio problems. Let me be the third person to agree. I cannot hear a single word coming out of the actors and actresses. I'm not so sure if I'm watching a movie based on deaf mutes and characters who've all had their vocal chords removed exclusively as a feature? Maybe that was the point? I've done everything to putting headphones to my cat to blasting the speakers at the fullest conceivable volume to playing this in front of a Film Studies class. No one heard a thing. Maybe that is the plot line of the movie - that silent films are still in vogue with the year 2000, and that no one has to say anything. If they're able to pantomime and speak with actions through using their bodies, maybe we can look past that.Sadly, no. Characters giggle, laugh, shout, look confused, look happy, but I'm not so sure this movie is a comedy either. Or maybe it's 'What if the Three Stooges made a horror movie?' Shuddering thought, that. Everything is dimly lit and completely shown in the wrong aspect ratio, in the wrong colors, and saturated and subdued to the point I wonder if the director filmed inside his pants. I'm not kidding. If it's not a movie about the blind and deaf, and it's not a movie about vaudevillian characters performing on the bayou without a paddle, then what the heck is this movie supposed to be? This is not the psychological thriller the description says it is.This is a failure of such proportions that 'DragonBall Evolution' may now just very well be the best film of all time.

An entire town disappeared from an Island on the Mississippi River where Elly Thompson grew up. At age 5 she was with her father when he disappeared, an event that she witnessed but did not understand. She has returned to the area as a documentary filmmaker, and along with her film crew, attempts to find answers. Apparently the others have no knowledge of her personal history with the river. As time goes on we learn that everyone has their own personal fears to deal with. I really hated giving this movie such a low score. I liked the story, thought it was competently directed, and should have been much more watchable than it was. My problems: First, the sound was all over the place. Dialogue that you could barely hear, with Foley and background noises that blew you out of your seat if you turned the volume up enough to hear what was being said. Silverware on the table, footsteps, and oars in the water should not be louder than the spoken word. And even the dialogue rose and fell in volume, from too much to almost inaudible. Please, go back and redo your post work and balance the sound. Or, add subtitles so we can turn the sound off and still know what the characters are saying. Second, the colors were washed out. This may have been intentional and was probably effective for dream sequences and actual documentary footage. But the whole movie shouldn't have been so drained of color in my opinion. Too much of it was made to look like "found" footage when it wasn't. There was more color in the final scenes of the movie than in the earlier hundred minutes combined. If I missed the point of that, or if my copy was just a bad transfer, then I apologize. Third: about 20 minutes too long. Unfortunately many low, low budget filmmakers are so enamored with their masterpiece that they feel that it can't be trimmed. They are usually wrong. They take what could have been a taut thriller and make it drag on and on. Shortening would have added tension and probably made the movie easier to follow. As I said, I hate to give this such a low rating. It could easily have been a 6 or even a 7, especially considering it's low budget roots. But the sound, more than anything else, effectively ruined it.

Everything else aside, the sound on this film is deplorable. Extremely loud bass sounds and bangs (which can be a cool effect if used properly) followed by actors that are basically whispering. Impossible to watch normally, so I switched to headphones. Still a disaster. I really gave this movie a chance (several actually), but someone seriously f'ed up what could have been a somewhat decent film. I challenge anyone to watch this without continuously adjusting the volume on their TV. Example: at the beginning during the breakfast scene, the silverware and plate clatter is about twice as loud as the dialogue. And there are many many more examples throughout. Better luck next time guys, I don't know who is responsible for the sound levels in this film, but they should find other work.