BACKWOODS is a comprehensively bad movie, and I don't mean of the so-bad-it's-good variety: I will spend more thought writing this review than the filmmakers put into it.The "film" (shot with videotape) opens with random shots of the woods, seen through what looks to be the eyes of the beast in WOLFEN. (That's a really popular effect in these cheapos.) Our narrator has obviously had his voice artificially slowered. (I just coined a phrase: "slowered" means slowed down and lowered. Remember when we used to play our 45s on 33-1/3, and we thought it was hilarious? Apparently, the sound department, accredited to Nick Clemente, still does.) Only here it's meant to be scary. It's not. That is the first of many "nots" in this "film".This is followed by a random and gratuitous scene of humping in the woods, then the obligatory "30 Years Later..." title card. Our killer-du-jour is Luther, who is dropped by his mother in the woods, fully grown. The labor scene is the first of many such grotesqueries in this freak show. Mama (Jim Edberg) hops around the woods as if she's about to unleash a mammoth turd. Well, she does, but his name is Luther. This is played for laughs. Yes, apparently shitting out a full-grown child passes for humor these days. This is another "not": Not funny. There is an unwritten rule to these things: If it's going to gross us out, at least make us laugh; It's only offensive when it's not funny. We can tell from the first few seconds that David Hayes' portrayal of Luther is going to have all the grotesquery and none of the funny. After Mama is struck down by a van full of college kids, Luther loses whatever mind he had and dons his mother's dress and wig and goes on a killing spree. Again, this is all played for laughs: It's funny to see fat men in women's clothing, right? Let's make fun of fat people, rednecks and transvestites in one swell foop while we're at it.Then we focus on the kids for a while: Mandy (Anna Schmeiekka) and Johnny (Patrick Hazen) are an item; Leroy (Jug Wang DDS) and Lisa (Mara Goldman) are too. Sammy (Mike Thallemer) is the fifth wheel. The table is set for some gratuitous sex and pot-smoking, two mainstays of any killer-loose-in-the-woods entertainment.Our filmmakers (David Hayes wrote the script in addition to giving us a performance that is unforgettable in all the wrong ways, and Grant Woodhill, who is responsible for the character of the stepfather, also directed) were not content to just make an awful, irredeemable video: They also decided they were clever enough to parody other films in the genre: Friday the 13th, Halloween, I Know What You Did Last Summer, Just Before Dawn, Psycho and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre are all borrowed from or alluded to in some way. There is only one problem with this: If you're going to parody a film, you'd better make sure your product is better than the film you are parodying.Once this mess of a film is set up, it is mercifully time for the killings. I don't say that because I'm bloodthirsty: I say that because I desperately wanted it to be over, so I was happy to see the countdown begin. Again, the brain trust behind this production was not content with simply knocking off the characters one-by-one. They had to do nasty things to them physically and sexually and linger on them like lascivious voyeurs. These set pieces reminded me of the cat who drags in some nasty rodent from outside and has a look on his face that says, "Look what I brought you." Patrick Hazen, who doubled as the film editor, should have been given free reign to chop these scenes to pieces, saving himself and his co-stars at least a little public humiliation.There are undoubtedly some who get off on this fare. Honestly, I could have forgiven the whole thing had it just been funny. It's not. When you look at a film and find yourself wondering if they had left the tape blank, would it have been more entertaining, you've gotten hold of a real turd. This film should be a reminder for everyone that just because you have a video camera doesn't mean you should make a movie.

If you are looking for something Oscar worthy, the tree you're looking for is not in the Back Woods. Some reviews have completely ripped this movie four or five new A-holes; while others praise it beyond reason. If you take this movie for what it is; it is an amateur attempt at a horror comedy. There were parts that had me laughing out loud, while other parts made me cringe. It is goofy and disturbing throughout the film. Some scenes could have used better editing, especially in the beginning. But all in all, it was a pretty good job for a handful of kids with a camcorder.By the way, I have no association with this movie. I accidentally discovered it off Amazon, and I don't regret the purchase.

After watching this you just have to ask:Who did what to whom to get this thing distributed? Was it blackmail or something? Why? I like bad movies as much as the next masochistic freak out there,but you just have to draw the line somewhere.The only thing I can honestly say was more painful to watch is "Night of Horror". If you just have to watch it just to say you survived the trauma,then I understand.Otherwhise stay far far away from it.It's nice to see some folks get together and produce something.I think all of us have had dreams of getting a movie together,so I really can't blame the folks responsible for "Back Woods". Unleashing it on the general public on the other hand was uncalled for.My brain still hurts.Oh... all right... it was rather funny at times,so it's not a total loss. Don't say I didn't warn 'ya though...8)3/10 on the Drive-In-freak-o-meter.I'd give it a 2/10 ,but that's just too mean for something that made me laugh.1/10 is reserved for the hell that is Disney films and musicals...shudder*******************After watching this one a few more times...yes really...I've changed my mind.It's grown on me and now I feel bad for blasting it! I had fun watching this film. Yes it's cheezy. Yes it it true that it is far from professional and "good", but it is fun and amusing.The filmmakers had a good sense of humor and it does show. The more I see it the funnier I find it, and for that I have to give credit where credit is due. I too am drawn into the powers of Mangina!so...I take it back. I'll give it a 6 on the Drive-In-Freak-O-Meter...If you are a fan of the really cheezy,check it out!

Oh my. Well, based on the somewhat "positive" reviews this film has received on here, I decided to get my hands on a copy. From the first frame my jaw was on the floor. Not because of how gory or inventive this film is, but how downright awful and sloppy it is. I don't have a problem with low budget movies at all. I respect anyone with the dedication to put an ultra-low budget movie together (believe me, this is as low budget as you can get!!) as long as they make a decent attempt to make the best of what they got. This film does succeed as a black comedy, I laughed my ass off many times during it, but more because of the sheer stupidity of what I was seeing. The film is about a back woods "woman" who get pregnant 30 years ago by a guy named Deek, who instantly leaves her. Well, 30 years later, she is still pregnant and finally gives birth, quite unconventionally, to Luther, a 30 year old, 300lb retard. To sum this up, teenagers accidentally run his Mommy over and hide the body, which causes him to go on a murderous rampage. The murders consist of Luther swinging an object and then a shot of a body part of piece of clothing flying through the air. Oh, and we mustn't forget the scene where he chews this womans breasts apart, but it is SO obvious that they are hunks of nylon and plastic. I don't know what else to say about this...the film quality is POOR, sound is POOR, special effects are POOR, and it is chalk full of continuity errors. However, it is not a total loss because I did get a good laugh out of it. My suggestion, if you think you are getting a decent slasher flick like I did, avoid this, but if you want a hysterical laugh--this is your film. 2 out of 10.