Oh my, it's the, Attack of the beast creatures, (1985) Directed by Michael Stanley, and written by Robert A. Hutton. Spoiler Alert ahead. Not long ago, I was trying to define Cheesy, when it came to movies. I think I've got it. This effort might as well acknowledge the Truth in packaging laws, and call itself, Attack of the puppet hunter dolls. OK, the gimmick worked in Trilogy of Terror (1975) so now we have an island full of them.I have to hand it to this rag tag group of actors, putting their best to make this nonsense, So what have we here? A lifeboat with a handful of survivors, Five guys and Four woman. A usual bland assortment. None of them are schooled in survival skills, nor in self defense. There are the good guys; Robert Nolfi plays John, pals with Case and Phillip, as played by Robert Lengyel and Frank Murgalo, We can tell they are the good guys, they wear ties, halfway through the production. Nobody likes Mr. Morgan played by Robert Furgelusky, No one player memorable, How could they be, given the material they had to work with. I pity the fools. Same could be said for the woman. Underwritten and devoid of personality, save for Mrs Gordon, played by Kay Baily, who everyone likes. The other woman, Cathy and Diane, played by Julia Rust, and Lisa Pac, mostly are called upon to scream and run. Did I mention banal dialogue? "Look, there goes Bill running down the hill, No, don't Stop" They manage to pull off the non monster sequences, hoping that when it comes down to it. the effects won't look as phony as the toys they have to work with. They spin around with these rag dolls taped on them, and act like they are fighting off a savage attack. I am reminded of Lugosi fighting off the rubber Octopus prop,in a swamp. The gore scenes are blatantly phony. This could be said for all the effects in general, I saw the puppeteers hand manipulating the dolls, The "attacking dolls" are tossed haphazardly at the actors, while the sound artists try to figure out what these little hunters battle cry, should sound like. The effects do not match the look of the dolls, we hear the pitter patter of running feet, and the screechy sounds, none of which seem to fit the action. All the while the synthesized soundtrack by John P Mozzi, tries to find a tune to fit the picture, and fails miserably. . Cavernous sounds well up, Rick Wakeman style, and inappropriately. The organ does what a good soundtrack should not, it calls attention to itself, over the action. So this is cheesy On the plus side, the Acid water was an interesting display of originality, what was it doing here? A similar device was used in "The Life of Pi."(2012) The film constantly challenges common sense, and in that it is consistent. that is why the film makes compelling viewing. You find yourself wondering why the girls are still wearing jewelry so late in, why the men don't make weapons, or at least carry sticks. Why they don't find a strategy to fend off the attacks, Nothing nunca, none of the above. I give it Four out of Ten "Inane" Stars

Remember the zuni warrior devil doll from Trilogy of Terror? Imagine hundreds of these creatures inhabiting a desert island. A handful of shipwreck survivors end up on the island, and it's almost immediately a pitched battle to see if they can survive against these toothy tiny terrors. Shot in little old Connecticut with an amateur cast and no budget, this drive-in fright flick more than makes up for its shortcomings each time the little monsters attack. They're just puppets, but you wouldn't want to tangle with one, never mind dozens. And they can outrun you. The only thing missing from this '80s camp classic is a nude scene, which should have taken place when the female survivors go for a dip in a pretty little lake. No such luck. But the gore sort of makes up for it.

This was a real treat. The film starts off a little slow, so hang in there because once the action starts you will probably choke on your beer or mountain dew out of sheer hysterical laughter. In my journey through "grade Z" movies, it is movies like Attack of the Beast Creatures that make it all worth it. This is the type of movie that I put on that "special shelf" for the friends that don't want to have to think or invest much of themselves into a film. For those friends who you would like to impress with a movie so bad, that it is just beautiful. This was made at a time when bad films were at least still shot on film. Now days "grade z" movies are shot on daddy's new digital camcorder, so they don't have any real cinematic quality. This has some cinematic quality...OK, cinematic quality in a really "grade z" kind of way.If you want Freddie Kreuger, Jason, or The Ring Meets the Grudge Part 4, then go to your local Blockbuster. Leave the trash to us trashmongers...I love it!

This is one of the most horrid movies I have ever seen and we have had some real stinkers at my Universitie's bad movie night. Truly this ranks with such horrid cinematic effluence such as "Robot Monster" which at least had the benefit of being fun to watch, this atrocious affair does not even have that going for it, and the puppet animation has to be seen to be believed it is just that terrible. The acting switches from absent to way way overdone, and the setting is obviously Eastern US and not a tropical island. The film stock itself seems to have problems, and there is no lighting except for natural light sources in each scene so some parts of the movie have almost no light in them at all. To top it off filters are sometimes put on and removed from the camera in the same scene. Even if you are a fan of terrible films stay far far away from this film as it lacks the qualities that make other such films fun to watch.