Asphalt Watches
Asphalt Watches
| 10 September 2013 (USA)
Asphalt Watches Trailers

This hilarious, grotesque, and unique adult animated feature chronicles visual artists Seth Scriver and Shayne Ehman’s trans-Canadian road trip as they encounter dull violence, rampant consumerism and unbridled eccentricity in small towns all over this wide, weird country.

Reviews
JvH48

I saw this film at the Imagine (sf/horror/fantasy) filmfestival Amsterdam 2014. I was attracted by the reviews of professional critics, in combination with the announcement on the festival website. The movie's website even succeeded in using the words hilarious and harrowing in one and the same sentence, so this should be something special.But alas, it was not meant to be. Maybe this product is interesting for movie scholars as "a unique adult animation feature" (see IMDb synopsis). It is a typical case where the professional critics are wrong and the user (amateur) reviews are right.The only thing that kept me awake were the interesting flying texts placed on objects passing by, though we did not get much time to read and interpret them all (some missed chances here). The eccentric people they meet are not fully exploited either (again, some missed chances). Yet, what surprises me the most is that this film received a 26th place (out of 43) for the audience award with average score 7.12. People watching the same movie in the same location obviously saw something completely different.

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Keyserling

I love experimental movies ! Underground Japanese stuff from the 80s, weirdest John Waters ideas, electro-hypnotic show at 2 o'clock in the morning... No problem as long as I can connect to them on a artistic/emotional or political level.But there's nothing here: NOTHING. Just some random nonsense with ugly pictures (At least South Park is funny and provoking). Maybe if you watch it while on drugs it can be interesting but then anything could be too.Anyhow, after one minute I knew I wouldn't be able to make it 'till the end. After 10 minutes, I left the theater. This is how bad Asphalt Watches is.

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maclock

This is a horrible film. You'd have to be out of your mind on some seriously strong drugs to find it entertaining in any way, shape or form. Until I watched Asphalt Watches, I had never walked out of a cinema without sitting through from beginning to end whatever I had paid to see. Terrible. Just terrible. Don't bother.I don't care if people think that it's cool and it's groundbreaking because it was made using only Flash animation, this film was just flat out awful and it was weird for the sake of being weird. I don't care if I don't get it -- if, indeed, there's anything to get at all -- but these filmmakers shouldn't have wasted what I gather was several years of their time on this mess of a movie. Maybe they'll get it right in the future.

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