7 Chinese Brothers is a song by REM. It is also an ultra low budget independent film directed by Bob Byington. Jason Schwarztman plays Larry, a lazy, lying slacker always playing stupid pranks and who drinks too much from a Styrofoam cup to make out he is not an alcoholic.At the beginning of the film we seem him get fired from job for stealing liquor from the bar. His only friend is a nurse who supplies him with stolen pills and the nurse looks after Larry's grandmother at the nursing home. His time with his grandmother is the only time he has a grown up conversation. Apart from his grandmother his dog is the only other thing he cares about.There is little plot to this movie. Larry gets a job at a garage valeting cars. His co-workers tell him to steal loose change. He takes a shine to his female boss, he gets fired because his boss finds out that he was fired from his previous job for stealing. In fact the same guy owned both the places he gets fired from. His grandmother dies, he plays stupid pranks to antagonise people like keying cars or throwing his hat on passing cars.Somewhere along the line Larry grows up a little. Schwarztman plays Larry with a deadpan, downbeat comic charm. He is the only thing that keeps the film going. There is very little that happens in this offbeat film that feels long even though it is only 75 minutes long.

Sometimes you watch a film and wonder to yourself 'what were they thinking when they made this movie?!'--such was my reaction when I watched this new and oddly named film starring Jason Schwartzman. Bob Byington wrote and directed this strange movie and it's one that left me confused and bored.When the film begins, Larry (Schwartzman) is a complete slacker and a bit of a loser. He's just lost a job because he was caught stealing and he doesn't seem to care in the least. What he does care about are drinking, taking drugs and his dog (incidentally, this French Bulldog is actually Schwartzman's dog in real life). Later, when he gets a job in a quick lube store, you keep expecting Larry to somehow show that down deep he's capable of change and will become responsible and likable...which never really happens in any meaningful way. He is, throughout the entire film, a jerk who has serious issues and who doesn't seem to care about this nor does he see much of a need to change. There is a tiny change at the end...but clearly not enough to offer any real hope for the guy cleaning himself up and achieving something with his life.This film is quirky...almost in a Wes Anderson sort of way, which is what I expected since Schwartzman frequently appears in Anderson's films. However, the quirkiness isn't humorous...just quirky and the film never really resonates with the audience. It's strange...just to be strange. And this soon becomes tedious. Had this been a short film, it might have been an interesting character study. But at 90 minutes and with a leading character you cannot help but dislike the film dragged. No sense of reason for all this seemed evident to me at any point. A clear misfire and I can see why this film went to straight to DVD very quickly. If you care, it's out this week but I wouldn't rush to see it unless you are a die-hard Schwartzman fan or you like long and ponderous films.

Bob Byington's 7 Chinese Brothers is less a film and more an idea, a thought, or even a potential TV show pilot. At seventy-one minutes in length, it's a film that practically questions what can be done with a film that has no cogent plot and relies on one simple, yet complex, character and his circumstances, most of which caused by his obnoxious attitude or his general indifference. On that basis alone, the film shouldn't be half as successful as it is, but through its feet-dragging narrative, practically impulsive structure, and low stakes, I did admittedly enjoy this film.This film isn't laugh out loud funny, nor is it particularly compelling or insightful. It gives us Larry (Jason Schwartzman), a man evidently in his early thirties, living alone with his bulldog, who gets fired from his restaurant job minutes into the film for sneaking drinks at the bar. He wanders over to Quick Lube for an oil change, asks the cute manager girl for an application, and soon enough, he's working for an incorrigible man named Jimmy (Jimmy Gonzales), who encourages him to steal any spare change out of customers' vehicles. On top of all that, he's constantly going back and forth to the nursing home to visit his grandmother (Olympia Dukakis), who remains his last living relative, in addition to seeing his friend Major Norwood (Tunde Adebimpe).Larry is the kind of character only Jason Schwartzman could play to great effect, for he conveys multiple different feelings with nearly every line or facial expression he conjures up. Larry is also the kind of character that acts like he has everything under control and that his cleverness and falsified feelings of self-worth will carry him to the places he needs to be. The problem is Larry really isn't half as good as he thinks he is, and this results for a lot of awkward scenarios thanks to Larry's random jokes/physical comedy and a multitude of impulsive, inappropriate actions that have consequences on his part.Schwartzman has to carry a lion's weight of Byington's film on his back, and with that, succeeds because without a dynamic screen presence, 7 Chinese Brothers could've fallen apart in its first few minutes. But because Byington keeps the film moving, through fluid scenes that reflect humor and believable, albeit rather light, drama and never stalls into romantic or comedic clichés, the film, in turn, keeps moving and assembling a fun and breezy personality.I have no idea what relevance the title has towards the story, nor can I figure out the takeaway from this film other than life can pass you by if you think you're funnier and more important than you actually are. However, through very little in the way narrative structure and flair and glamour, Byington has made 7 Chinese Brothers work almost solely on the charisma and dynamic talents of his leading actor, in addition to making this a largely fun, project. At the end of it all, I can admire that.Starring: Jason Schwartzman, Olympia Dukakis, Tunde Adebimpe, and Jimmy Gonzales. Directed by: Bob Byington.

As I overheard someone going out of its showing at the Traverse City Film Festival saying "That was fricking torture." A story about an unlikable slacker going nowhere, the movie is filled with people uttering painfully unfunny lines. At first the packed theater politely laughed and by the end of this pointless 75 minutes the audience was dead silent (or asleep). I won't dwell on the plot because there is none. Sorry if I sound angry but it was a wasted evening and $24 for my wife and me.How sad that Olympia Dukakis has let herself sink to the level of appearing in a movie this banal. Jason Schwartzman's pug Arrow is the only star that earned his pay.Stay away. (2/10)